No matter how you spin it, it’s wrong. Violence against man or woman, as a response to any number of emotional motives, be it frustration, hate or vengence is wrong. To justify it under any rubric is to justify all the heinous crimes committed by men against women under the general category of crimes we sweep under the carpet and name, domestic violence.
For the record, in Illinois at least, you can’t just be booted out of an apartment, either. You have established residency and whether you’re on the lease or not, they can’t just toss you out. I believe they have to give you 30 days.
You’re right…there’s no excuse. But it is also a forgiveable infraction. The fact that she is taking steps to correct this violent streak means she knows she did wrong and can therefore change her behavior. Forgiveness is not unwarranted in many of these situations.
OMG God, that was subtly brilliant. 
I’ll give you a little adivce. Just try and forget about him as much as possible. You’ll have to go through a period (And I don’t know how long it will be) of having things pop up in your head that remind you of him and it will make you sad, but its okay to be sad. For me, after a while I just get tired of being sad and decide not to bother with it anymore. I sort of went though a breakup recently and it hurt, but its much better to make a clean break. For me its a process. I can’t tell you how many times I have smelled the same perfume, bodywash, etc, of a girl and just damn near broke down after realizing that I’d never get to smell it again in the same context. I don’t know, but smells can be very emotional to me…Just remember that after a while the pain stops, but don’t talk to him or even think about him more than you have to. Time is the best thing here.
Also its very good to talk to friends, but another man may help as well. Don’t get involved, but it may help your self-esteem to flirt a little and see the reactions.
Hey, Torie, I’m sorry to read about all this. Stay away from trouble and let me know if there is anything I can do.
Gee, why is it when one person speaks out everyone suddenly jumps on the band-wagon?
I am not condoning what torie did but you can not just say it is the same thing with the genders reversed. A man is physically stronger and more dominant than a woman in most relationships. In most cases if a woman hits a man, he can shrug it off, if a man hits a woman she could end up in hospital. Obviously neither case should be accepted and there will be cases where the opposite is true but lets step back and look at the most likely scenario.
How much did you hurt your ex torie? Was it really bad?
People go on about how they would have had her locked up straight away but are you saying that being in a relationship with someone for a while, and the fact that this was just one outburst mean she should have the book thrown at her? Jeez, could you grow some thicker skin and see if we can learn to get along with each other. Heck she wasn’t the only one abusing in the relationship:
Just because his abuse wasn’t physical doesn’t mean he should get all the sympathy here. This is why I, the sad loser that I must be, am giving support and a flirt to a friend and fellow brat because from the sounds of it he treated her like crap, had control of her home which is a good chunk of her life and threw it in her face. She unwisely retaliated with her fists but it was an emotional time and she is a better woman for standing up to those demons. I choose to believe that torie got hurt pretty bad, left vulnerable and right now needs support, and people should back off if they’re not willing to give it.
Take care torie.
If I may make a suggestion. Print this thread and take it to your next session with the counselor. Talk about why you posted the OP, how the responses, good and bad, made you feel and why. There is so much raw emotion, from both sides, here that could be turned, with the help of a competent counselor, into really good insight into yourself.
Best of luck,
Steven
Torie, it’s great that you admit your shortcomings. You know that beating the crap out of your boyfriend is wrong. Now take the next step in maturity and stop yourself before ever doing it again. It can be done.
He dumped you. Good. It was doomed to fail because you didn’t really love him. Now do yourself a favor and take this time to work on yourself. Healthy, lasting relationships can only be entered into by two mentally healthy adults. That means learning to keep your emotions and fists in check, learning to support yourself on your own, and learning how to pick partners that complement your personality.
Oh, and I’m definitely with the crowd that wonders why you called him to wish him Happy 1st Anniversary of your first date. He dumped you and kicked you out of his apartment. Why on earth would you think he’d be pleased to hear from you and why on earth would you think it was the nice thing to do?
Closed at the request of the OP.