He Hate Me Keeper League - Year 16

Since it’s a snake draft, I could probably do that from my phone while I’m at work on the cursed night shift. I played a 14 team keep 3 (without all the restrictions) money league for 8 years, so I’m quite familiar with the format, deep enough for a challenge but not the extremes of the big league.

That would definitely be cool. Let’s see if we can get one more person and we can run as a full 14 man. Thanks Dale.

I can join up.

Well shit, that really worked out all of the sudden. Thanks guys, I’ll send out invites, and I’ll get those keeper lists ready.

Thanks SB - if there’s anything I can do to help let me know.

NP Wilson. I’ll get the league all set up and full ideally before I hand it over to you.

Sir T-Cups, I can’t recall, did I PM you an invite link for your wife? Or you can send me her e-mail if you want. I recently cleaned up my PMs to get more space.

Dale, I’ll send you an invite.

Sorry for the late keeper lists, been really busy lately, and I won’t be back around until later tonight when I’ll probably get that sorted.

Yes you did, and I sent it to her. Apparently she hasn’t signed up yet? Grrr. I’ll make sure she signs up sometime this weekend.

The nerve!

I’ll be keeping Kenny Stills in the 11th, and Jacksonville in the 14th.

She’s officially signed up.

Can we post a draft order? I recall we changed the pattern to:
[ol]
[li]Consolation bracket winner[/li][li]14th place[/li][li]13th place[/li][li]etc.[/li][/ol]
but without knowing the new players I cannot figure out who drafts when. And I am confused about the Yahoo standings showing for last year. Excluding the new teams, Yahoo shows:

Which has me finishing 12 and thus drafting **1.4 - 2.11 - etc. ** But last year’s thread shows:

Which shows me finishing 9, and so drafting 1.7 - 2.8 - etc. I don’t see a post last year showing the standing post-playoffs, so the top 6 would be different from the end of season. Can we get a confirmed draft order for this year? I think especially for the new teams draft slot might affect some of their keeper choices.

I will definitely be keeping
[ul]
[li]Mahomes in 12[/li][li]Kupp in 11[/li][li]Hogan in 5[/li][/ul]

Here are the eligible keepers for our returning owners.

An asterisk means that they were kept last year and therefore this is their last year of eligibility (2 years ago, last year, and this year makes 3 years total)

A double asterisk/shrunken text (I can’t figure out how to make strikethroughs) means they already were kept 3 years and I’m just leaving them in there to show you what happened to them, but they aren’t eligible to be kept.

Those unkeepable players are: Derek Carr, Jordy Nelson, Cam Newton, Kelvin Benjamin, Doug Baldwin, David Johnson

Exploding Pancakes
3. (20) Rob Gronkowski (NE - TE)
4. (37) Russell Wilson (Sea - QB)
6. (65) Sammy Watkins (KC - WR)
*7. (76) Jay Ajayi  (Phi - RB)
10. (132) Alvin Kamara (NO - RB)
11. (149) Chris Carson (Sea - RB)
*13. (177) Martavis Bryant  (Oak - WR)
14. (188) Marlon Mack (Ind - RB)
16. (216) Alex Smith (Was - QB)

Carcosa Yellow Kings
3. (30) Drew Brees (NO - QB)
4. (55) Emmanuel Sanders (Den - WR)
5. (58) Adrian Peterson (Was - RB)
6. (83) Hunter Henry (LAC - TE)
7. (86) Denver (Den - DEF)
8. (111) Stephen Gostkowski (NE - K)
*9. (114) James White  (NE - RB)
12. (167) C.J. Fiedorowicz (Hou - TE)
13. (170) Kenny Stills (Mia - WR)
16. (223) Jacksonville (Jax - DEF)

Fourth & Nineteen
3. (31) Michael Crabtree (Bal - WR)
*4. (54) Isaiah Crowell  (NYJ - RB)
6. (82) Randall Cobb (GB - WR)
7. (87) Jameis Winston  (TB - QB)
8. (110) Zay Jones (Buf - WR)
9. (115) Austin Hooper (Atl - TE)
10. (138) Samaje Perine (Was - RB)
14. (194) Pittsburgh (Pit - DEF)
15. (199) Deshaun Watson (Hou - QB)

Omnipotents
3. (32) Doug Martin (Oak - RB)
4. (53) Philip Rivers (LAC - QB)
6. (81) Michael Thomas  (NO - WR)
9. (116) Corey Davis (Ten - WR)
11. (144) Carson Wentz (Phi - QB)
13. (172) Kendall Wright (Min - WR)
14. (193) Carolina (Car - DEF)
15. (200) David Njoku (Cle - TE)

Spiritus Mundane
3. (33) Keenan Allen (LAC - WR)
4. (52) Tevin Coleman (Atl - RB)
5. (61) Frank Gore (Mia - RB)
6. (80) DeSean Jackson (TB - WR)
7. (89) Chris Hogan (NE - WR)
**8. (108) Derek Carr  (Oak - QB)
13. (173) Cooper Kupp (LAR - WR)
14. (192) Patrick Mahomes II (KC - QB)

Nine Inch Neils
3. (36) Alshon Jeffery (Phi - WR)
*4. (49) Ameer Abdullah  (Det - RB)
5. (64) Zach Ertz (Phi - TE)
6. (77) Eric Decker (NE - WR)
7. (92) Thomas Rawls (NYJ - RB)
10. (133) Tyrod Taylor (Cle - QB)
12. (161) DeAndre Washington (Oak - RB)
13. (176) Devin Funchess (Car - WR)
14. (189) New York (NYG - DEF)
16. (217) Matt Prater (Det - K)

Moridwon (Hamlet)
3. (39) C.J. Anderson (Car - RB)
**4. (46) Jordy Nelson  (Oak - WR)
5. (67) Andrew Luck (Ind - QB)
6. (74) Kyle Rudolph (Min - TE)
9. (123) Chris Thompson (Was - RB)
11. (151) Matt Breida (SF - RB)
*12. (158) Davante Adams  (GB - WR)
14. (186) Aaron Jones (GB - RB)

Baltimore Weirdos
3. (40) Marcus Mariota (Ten - QB)
4. (45) Golden Tate (Det - WR)
6. (73) Jeremy Maclin (Bal - WR)
7. (96) Rishard Matthews (Ten - WR)
9. (124) Theo Riddick (Det - RB)
13. (180) Baltimore (Bal - DEF)
15. (208) Wil Lutz (NO - K)
16. (213) Danny Amendola (Mia - WR)

Hermits
3. (41) Tyreek Hill (KC - WR)
**5. (69) Cam Newton  (Car - QB)
6. (72) Jarvis Landry (Cle - WR)
7. (97) Duke Johnson Jr. (Cle - RB)
8. (100) Seattle (Sea - DEF)
*9. (125) Matt Ryan  (Atl - QB)
12. (156) Minnesota (Min - DEF)
13. (181) Marqise Lee (Jax - WR)
14. (184) Nelson Agholor (Phi - WR)

Disgruntled Goats
3. (42) Mark Ingram (NO - RB)
6. (71) Jonathan Stewart (NYG - RB)
8. (99) Adam Thielen (Min - WR)
**9. (126) Kelvin Benjamin  (Buf - WR)
*10. (127) Dak Prescott  (Dal - QB)
14. (183) Kerwynn Williams (KC - RB)

Here are the eligible keepers for the non-returning owners. We have 4 new owners and 4 teams to assign and so I’m just going to assign them by generating random numbers.

Safety Blitz / Enalzi
3. (38) Larry Fitzgerald (Ari - WR)
4. (47) Ben Roethlisberger (Pit - QB)
5. (66) Stefon Diggs (Min - WR)
**8. (103) Doug Baldwin  (Sea - WR)
*10. (131) Jimmy Graham  (GB - TE)
14. (187) Kenny Golladay (Det - WR)
Varlos’ Zzzzzzz / Sir T-Cups
3. (56) Jamison Crowder (Was - WR)
**4. (57) David Johnson  (Ari - RB)
5. (84) Tyrell Williams (LAC - WR)
6. (85) LeGarrette Blount (Det - RB)
7. (93) Jack Doyle (Ind - TE)
8. (112) Houston (Hou - DEF)
10. (140) Jordan Matthews (NE - WR)
11. (141) Jacquizz Rodgers (TB - RB)
12. (168) Antonio Gates (LAC - TE)
13. (169) Robby Anderson (NYJ - WR)
16. (224) Cincinnati (Cin - DEF)

Overly Sentimental / dalej42
3. (35) Joe Mixon (Cin - RB)
4. (50) Kirk Cousins (Min - QB)
5. (63) Derrick Henry (Ten - RB)
*6. (78) DeVante Parker  (Mia - WR)
8. (106) Corey Coleman (Buf - WR)
*9. (119) Jordan Howard  (Chi - RB)
10. (134) New England (NE - DEF)
11. (147) C.J. Prosise (Sea - RB)
13. (175) Wendell Smallwood (Phi - RB)
14. (190) Mike Williams (LAC - WR)
15. (203) Julian Edelman (NE - WR)

Court Jesters / Goal-den Girls (Sir T-Cups’ wife)
3. (34) Marshawn Lynch (Oak - RB)
4. (51) Matthew Stafford (Det - QB)
5. (62) Delanie Walker (Ten - TE)
6. (79) Tyler Lockett (Sea - WR)
8. (107) Ted Ginn Jr. (NO - WR)
12. (163) Jason Witten (Dal - TE)
13. (174) Sterling Shepard (NYG - WR)
*14. (191) Mike Gillislee  (NE - RB)

Since I posted that list late, ignore the keeper deadline of 9/2. Go ahead and keep them up through, say, noon eastern on draft day (Tuesday).

Regarding the draft order, we have the consolation bowl winner last year on top, and then reverse order of finish, correct?

If so, the draft order is:

  1. Baltimore Weirdos (consolation bowl)
  2. Court Jesters / Goal-den Girls (Sir T-Cups’ wife)
  3. VarlosZzzzz / Sir T-Cups
  4. Spiritus Mundane
  5. Nine Inch Neils
  6. Carcosa Yellow Kings
  7. Overly Sentimental / dale42j
  8. Disgruntled Goats
  9. Hermits
  10. Moridwon (Hamlet)
  11. Omnipotents
  12. Fourth & Nineteen
  13. Exploding Pancakes
  14. Safety Blitz / Enalzi

Alright, once we get the keepers declared, I believe we’re all set for the draft. Please double check your keeper lists to make sure everything is correct. You can look at previous years in the league by using the “all time” button on the standings page. From there you can see draft results, rosters, etc. Keepers can only be kept if they’re drafted by a player or traded for, and kept on the roster continuously until the end of the year.

Thanks again for those of you who came in to replace absent players. After we have a nice clean start of the season I’ll hand off commissioner duties to Wilson for next year.

Any questions or issues that need to be resolved?

Those keepers I listed were listed in the round they were drafted last year. Which means to keep a player you have to keep him two rounds ahead of where he’s listed there. For example, if you keep a guy who is listed as being a 6th rounder there, he’ll have to be kept with your 4th rounder this year.

Keepers can be kept twice, giving them 3 years total (original draft year, kept once, kept twice). Players with an asterisk mean they’ve already been kept once, and that you can keep them this year, but not next year.

Thanks for doing all this, SB.

I’m keeping Deshaun Watson in the 13th, that’s it.

Okay - so the draft order takes into account the full results of the consolation bracket. Got it.

Disgruntled Goats keepers: Adam Thielen (round 6) & Dak Prescott (round 8)

Use the [del] tag.

[noparse][del]Strikethrough[/del][/noparse]

[del]Strikethrough[/del]

Can we trade keeper rights? I have an embarrassment of riches.