He runs one of the most popular and lucrative websites on the internet…from an Amiga 64 with cassette tape data storage.
He composed an entire symphony using only tape loops.
He completed a triathlon in a blindfold, and backwards.
Public transit depends on him.
His true name contains the letter Wum, which is no longer in the English alphabet.
You know when you’re sitting in the food court at the mall, and there are those screens giving chatty news and entertainment updates, and they’re announcing what all the new colours and cuts and hemlines are going to be for the upcoming fashion season? Well, he’s the only man manly enough to write the memos that decide such things.
He once killed a man just to watch him die… then brought him back to life just to watch that happen, too.
He manages the fashion impossible…he wears a speedo and a smoking jacket while drinking a bloody mary…and it works…
He is the hive mind…
He proved that an airplane on a treadmill will indeed fly…
In his salad days of youth, he translated the *Kama Sutra *into Basque… and was formally barred from Spain for life by the Franco regime.
His pioneering geophysical mapping survey of the Bermuda Triangle proved it is actually a rhombus.
He composed a jazz standard by transposing Strauss’ “Blue Danube Waltz” to 5/4 time.
He created the favorite rose variety of England’s venerable Queen Mother, the Rosa maximus interestius.
He discovered the largest diamond bore mine in Zaire, for which he was paid in platinum Kruggerrands.
He has been hired as a technical consultant by both John LeCarre and Tom Clancy… as well as the Mossad.
His textbook – with a foreword by Kathleen Turner – on linguistics, sexuality and the female voice is the Bible of Hollywood vocal coaches.
He inspired a young Arnold Schwarzenegger to take up bodybuilding, and an older Paul Newman to race the Formula One circuit.
His sweat is used by a Swiss endocrinology clinic to induce ovulation in peri-menopausal women… with an 88% success rate within six months.
He has lent over one hundred medieval texts from his personal library to Umberto Eco, who patterned the monk-detective from “The Name of the Rose” on him.
He once taught a German Shepard to bark in Spanish!
He put the 14 k of g in the f p d.
He once won a staring contest… Against the Statue of Liberty.
His private jet never encounters turbulence. Turbulence occasionally encounters his private jet, and regrets the meeting in short order.
The Mayan Calendar was not designed to predict the end of the world, but rather, his birthday.
A team of NASA scientists works seven days a week to invent new colors… For his Karate belts.
He has been appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court. Three times.
He is NEVER poorly received.
He is not just another brick in the wall… He is the cornerstone.
When he works out, the machine gets stronger.
And three times, he has declined.
His autobiography has been translated into Klingon. He did it himself.
His nickname is the Tetragrammaton.
He has been to the bottom of the Marianas Trench. Often. For as long as he damn well likes.
He would win, even if Batman was prepared.
He once held the rapt attention of a theater full of teenage girls with ADD for four hours by sitting silently on the stage on a chair looking like he was about to speak.
He can solve the Rubik’s cube in a single move… …No matter how messed up it is… …blind folded.
these are great guys keep’em coming!
He once went to Mars…on a rocketship he paid for, designed, and built all by himself…he never told anyone because he was embarrassed by the simplicity and ease of it all.
He was embarrassed once, just to see what it felt like.
He beat Ricardo Montalbon in a “Talk like Ricardo Montalbon” contest… twice.
His name ends in -gry.
By far my favorite so far. 