In this thread, I excitedly raved about the possibility of love coming into my life. I guess my fears about him not calling were founded…he still hasn’t phoned me. I’ve left him two messages this week, nothing psycho, just “Hey, it’s Alex, call me!” I know it’s only been a bit over a week, but he NEVER goes that long without calling me, normally. Something’s up.
It’s one of a few possibilities. He may be working out of town again. He may regret that night, and is ducking me. Or he may be freaked out. I’m thinking it’s the second theory. Goddamnit. I’ve gone over things in my mind, and nothing went wrong that night, as far as I can tell. I really hope it wasn’t anything I said or did. Who knows what is going on in someone else’s mind, though.
I should know better than to get my hopes up. The thought that he wanted me just made me feel beatuiful and sexy in a way that I haven’t felt in a long time. sigh. If it was any other guy, I’d just say, “screw it” and forget about him. But this is one of my best friends.
If he’s not interested in me “that way”, fine! I’d rather have him as my friend than as nothing at all. There would definitely be a void in my life if I don’t hear from him again. We’ve been friends for so long, and get along incredibly well. What do I do now? I don’t think I should keep trying to reach him. If he is ducking me, I just end up looking like a crazy person. I don’t want to walk away form a 10 year friendship without at least TRYING, though. Crap.
Any advice or ego-boosting responses are highly welcome. I need both desperately right now.
My guess is that this is going to work out the way these things usually work out. There is a reasonable explanation for all of this and you’re going to feel silly for all of the worrying and second guessing. I know the waiting isn’t easy but that’s your only viable option right now. Hang in there.
Don’t call any more. Give it a couple more weeks, then email him. Tell him that it’s pretty clear he’s freaked out, and that you value his friendship and don’t care if you both pretend the kissing never happened, if it means you can keep being friends. Then let him make contact.
It is possible that he’s out of town or something. Even if he isn’t, the more you call, the more you may give him the impression that things can’t go back to the way they were. Give him space and time, and see what happens. It may still be OK.
Good luck. If you don’t get with him the statistical chances of you getting with someone else is high - so long as you are flexible. Good luck, hope all goes well.
Thanks, guys. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself when I wrote the OP. He doesn’t have email right now, so I’m going to wait a couple weeks, and call his answering machine when I know he’s at work. I know for a fact that he really likes me as a person…he wouldn’t have stayed in touch and been my friend for a decade if he didn’t. Rick has had a few bad experiences with women (cheating on him, only after him because he’s financially well off, etc) and has told me that he had trouble trusting women, with me as an exception. We worked together for about 5 years, and he told me (when the business closed down) that he would have quit that job years earlier if it hadn’t been for me. sigh. Anyways, enough reminiscing.
Anyways, time will tell. It’s out of my hands now. Thanks for listening to me - I always feel so much better when I can vent a bit.
Well, sure – that pretty much goes without saying. The trick is working it subtley into the conversation. Maybe you could just casually scratch your ear with your toe?
