Oh yeah:
Headlines Thread in MPSIMS Submitted for Threadspotting, Horseflesh Confesses All
In other news:
Horseflesh Discovers That He Can’t Acronymize or Verb Correctly, Then Makes More Grammar Faux Pas With Corrections
Bill Clinton Caught With Pants Down
**Fred Phelps Arrested for Large Cache of Child Porn **
**Whitney Houston Admits Drug Problem. **
Hollywood admits to running out of ideas for movies.
“Well, duuuh.” says the not so shocked public.
**spoggas head explodes,brains all over monitor,Grimsbyite apologises, eats brains **
Derren Brown Accidentally Shoots David Blaine
“Now that’s good television,” viewers respond
Farts are good for Ozone Layer.
Baked Bean Industry at an all time high.
Bush Tells Truth!
Anxious Nation Awaits Full Explanation
Limbaugh Admits All!
“The Pills Were Only The Tip Of The Iceberg!” Screams Pre-op Transexual Radio Host
Clintons File For Divorce!
Both Admit Affair With Sharon Stone
Well that would be just fine. But this?:
Why would you wish that on me? 
Esprix
Entertainment value, mostly. :wally
Okay, okay, I’m sorry…
**CIA Discovers Bombs in Gilead. Bush Plans Invasion **
Jesus Returns
Jesus admits he liked Mel Gibsons’ "The Passion"
**“The Beatles were more popular than me,” says Jesus **
get rid of ALL your quotation marks. replace ()'s with 's.
If you are still confused, hit “reply” to my post so that it quotes me and observe
Moe Previews Post to Ensure Irony-Free
Slow News Day
:o
Moe Fails to Notice Second Page During Preview; Maintains That While He Now Feels Silly, His Initial Post Remains Irony-Free… Mostly
Good News
For a Change
Typesetter Suffers Fatal Heart Att
The Headlines Thread from last October makes Threadspotting!
Some stuff happened. subtitle: Not much.
Hillary Admits New Casino a Mistake
NYS Has On Time Budget Subtitle: First time in 20 years
(Yeah, I’m a bit provincial, here. 
)
subtitle: Suspect in weekend Humane Society animal liberation
Vlad/Igor
90 Percent of World Population Vanishes Overnight
SDMB Psychic Scores Direct Hit With Prediction
Plans to claim $1 million from James Randi
Pope Declares Support For Same Sex Marriage
Vatican City becomes last of world nations to provide full equal marriage rights
“Ralph Nader (or any Green Party/independent leftist candidate) Elected President!”
“Michigan Wolverines Defeat Connecticut (or Tennessee, or whoever) in NCAA Women’s Basketball Final!”
“Favre Breaks Marino’s Career TD Pass Record!”
The second and third ones will definitely happen soon. The first one will hopefully happen at some point, pending reform of the hopelessly corrupt American political system and/or a massive awakening of the apathetic American public.
“Jennifer Aniston to Star in Porn Movie!”
“Thousands of 2000 Al Gore Florida Ballots Found Buried in Crawford, TX”
“Compromise Reached In Abortion Debate!”
“New York Yankees Sign 47 Year Old Engineer”
“NHL Drops Silly Overtime Loss Point in Standings”
“Designated Hitter Outlawed Forever”
“Bush Loses Every State to Kerry, Fails to Carry Single County Nationwide”
“Hot Children’s Movie Has No Contract With Fast Food Restaurant”
“Engineering Now Universally Regarded as Sexiest Occupation”
“Drug Companies Refund Money to Defrauded Consumers”