Thanks for the well-wishing and advice dopers. I’m feeling better today.
Audrey, don’t be sorry. It’s a nice thing to say, and I understand your sentiments. It’s just that I, like iampunha, have been hearing this a lot. Though it’s not a bad thing, just a little frustrating.
Thanks mrblue and pLt, I’ll still look for the other fish, but I think I’ll stay away from the Spikey Fish. I’m still going to try and be friends with her, she seems like a nice person. I don’t know if she’ll want me more, but what the heck.
casdave, I still don’t know. It seemed like we were getting along great. I don’t think she was scheming; at least she didn’t tell me what’s what in front of her friends.
labdude, I know I should have suspected this, now. Like I said, I’m not very experienced when it comes to dating. At least she and her friends were nice. Sorry to hear about what happened to you man, that sucks.
iampunha, man, I hear you. I hear you loud and clear. Just gotta hang in there, I guess.
Thanks for the encouragement divemaster.
I dunno, though, what else can you say? I have a friend who rants about this every other day–all you can do is say, “I know you’re a good person. Lot’s of us do. Eventually, somebody you’re interested in will get it through their thick skull.”
Oh yeah, and Calvin’s dad is a nutcase–he was also my father; even looked like him. As much as I love that comic, that still creeps me out…though I guess it might build character
Well, don’t let it get you down. This kind of shit happens to everyone- repeatedly. You can’t let yourself get too excited or too upset right at first.
If you’re going to ask women out cold(at bookstores, bars, etc…) you pretty much have to look at it like batting in baseball, where 28 hits out of 100 at-bats is decent.(.280) It’s a numbers game when you’re doing that.
Now… if I was you, I’d definitely try to make friends with her and then see what her friends have to offer- that’s the best way to meet the right girls, not some kind of random pickup in a club or something.
The above’s just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt if you like.
I’m sorry about that whole thing…having your hopes, expectations, self-image all boosted and then having them disappointed is absolutely an abysmal feeling.
I’m hoping she was just being honest, not cruel, and that she felt bad about the misunderstanding. I’ve actually had to re-explain “Sure, we can hang out” does not mean, “Sure, I’d like a date with you.” Granted, I was younger and far more naive about the dating scene at the time, but I, too, meant well.
So, on behalf of my clumsy and less-experienced sisters, I’m sorry.
And yes–befriending someone before dating them can sometimes be amazing. I’m marrying someone who was “just” a friend for six years!
Well, basically, the lawn dart has to be on target…and be able to support it’s own weight when the board is held vertically…
Oh, this isn’t about those sorts of “hits”…
…Anything that can be called a date and went well counts in my book. Though, if you’re batting 28 out of 100…well…100 is kind of a lot. I guess it depends on the length of time involved…
Thanks again all. I feel much better now. I went out with some friends tonight, had some laughs. I now have a much better perspective on it. She is a nice girl and the next time I’m around there I’ll stop in at her store, see if she wants to get together for coffee sometime. Who knows, maybe we will be good friends.
But man, I don’t get that many at bats, so I better make those pitches count.
Later all.
In my book at least, if you approach a woman cold, and actually end up with a real date, then that’s a hit.
And in my experience, something less than 1 in 3 is pretty much the rule.
I get a lot of foul-tips, which are pretty much what Silent_Rob described. Girls give out phone number, won’t return calls, won’t go out, etc…
It’s part of playing the game, I figure.
It is frustrating though, to meet someone at a party, talk to them for 3 hours, have them enthusiastically give you their phone number amid many comments like “We have to go out”, “Let’s get together & have dinner”, and then when push comes to shove, have them say “Well, I really am not looking to date” or something like that. To continue the baseball analogy, I look at that like a pop-up foul which gets caught.
Then think 3 out of 10. Batting averages are actually just a percentage of hits vs at-bats. And keep in mind, that 3/10 is on cold ask-outs which end up as a date.
Friends of yours, or people you know from class, etc… those should boost your percentage highly.
