A good plastic surgeon could fix that.
Didn’t your mom tell you that when you made an ugly face it would stay that way?
You’re so short your hair smells like feet.
(After the thrower says something) Oh my God, they’re called breath mints!
You remind me when I was young and clueless.
Don’t let your mind wander… it’s too little to be left out alone.
You’re so dumb, the dog teaches YOU tricks.
Whoever told you to just be yourself gave you really bad advice.
You’re such a loser, your imaginary friend ditched you for someone cooler.
Not only do you look funny, I bet you read at the same level as the President.
Your grandmother called. She wants her throwing style back.
You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with the broad side of another barn.
You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat.
(After a big miss) “Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Stevie Wonder!”
If it weren’t for gravity, you couldn’t even hit the ground!
I had a handful of Sacajawea dollars. I told em they’d get one for every time they dunked me.
Worked pretty good!
I’ve had bobblehead dolls that were more rock-steady than you!
If Luke Skywalker aimed like you, he’d still be a farmboy on Tattoine!
In a parallel universe, that was a bulls-eye!
Hey, what a nice breeze just now. No, wait – that was just me getting fanned by your AIR BALL!
[Holding up your drink] The only way you’re going to hear a splash would be if I tossed out the rest of my soda! [Beat] And I’m more likely to hit you than vice-versa!
It is a common kid put down. Obviously, the person you say it to represents a live birth of their mother. . .
Stevie Wonder could throw better than that.
For anyone with four throws:
1st throw–Helen Keller could throw better than that.
You need to practice doing very loud exagerated yawns.
Nice rules, but I didn’t see any insults in there at all.
The one and only time I’ve ever been to a dunk tank, I missed with my first throw and the guy called me “Mama’s little butterball.”
The next two found their marks.
After a missed throw - In case you didn’t know, aim for here. Do a double handed over the head point.
or
What state were you aiming for?
or
We just got a call from some guys in Austin. They found that last ball you threw.
Oy
August 22, 2008, 6:00pm
34
To quote Robert Heinlein, who was probably quoting drill seargents of old:
We all know you’re not going to hit me, but see if you can’t at least scare me a little!
Or contemptuous Frenchmen via Monty Python:
I fart in your general direction.
which can be endlessly riffed upon, in increasingly ornate ways:
I burp at the birthplace of your aunt.
traditional: “yo mudda wears army boots.”
Of course, now in todays Army, that is no longer an insult.
I posted that mainly for the squirt gun bit. Or perhaps a Super Soaker.