Remember when restaurant tables had those glass bottles, and half them had a knife stuck in the bottle? Yeah, the old glass bottles were even worse.
That was answered in the same reply you quoted that from. Next sentence, actually.
I cannot believe that this 17 year old thread failed to pick up on the real problem with these bottles.
When they’re 3/4 empty, and you pull them out of the fridge, and you let them sit on the counter for a bit while you get the plates together, the air inside heats up, and thanks to the so-called Ideal Gas Law, the pressure inside the bottle increases. The dupe/customer then opens the cap and BLOOP, the ketchup squirts all over. It’s a frigging time bomb, it is.
I think part of their strategy is that you’ll get so fed up by the difficulty of using a mostly empty squeeze bottle that you’ll just throw it away sooner and buy a new one. See also deodorant sticks that have curving tops, so you can’t store them upside down when they get top heavy.
There is a way ( but it is humiliating ). You must take the bottle by the neck… [del]and swing it around your head like a chicken [/del) and swing it around your body in fast large circles.
Once done, you must open the bottle and squeeze a tiny bit of air out.
Then afterward, you must close the top and grasp the bottle by the solid plastic bottom, and [del]and swing it around your head like a chicken [/del) and swing it around your body in fast large circles.
Once complete, aim the top at the object to be tomato pasted, open the top, and squeeze that bastard like a massage parlor whore.
Laughing while doing this may increase your pleasure.
That is my impression of the squeeze mayonnaise bottles, at least. With ketchup, we don’t usually get down that low before it expires, due to all the ketchup packets places hand out.
As for deodorant, I’ve never stored it standing up. My drawers aren’t tall enough and it would just fall over anyways when you opened them.
I have never had trouble due to a “top heavy” deodorant bottle. I use the part of the stick that’s not counted in the net weight, because it’s just there to hold the other stuff, because I’m slow getting around to buying new deodorant. I have no idea what y’all are talking about.
(I also burp the ketchup when there’s a lot of air in it.)
Ketchup expires? There are potentially some taste issues, but it is apparently good for at least a year past any ‘best by’ date (and personal experience would agree).
Yeah, ketchup and salad dressing are two things that never (in my mind) expire. I’ve used salad dressing years past its best-by date.
I’ve tossed salad dressing when i realized it was ten years past it’s “best by” date. We had a collection of salad dressing that…i dunno, maybe house gifts? Anyhow, we rarely eat the stuff.
I’m having difficulty myself understanding what is being described with the deodorants. The stuff gets used all the way down to the plastic pusher it sits on without issues that I’ve noted. Is the “top heavy” note that it falls over easily or something? Not that I noticed. I also think the upside down ketchup squeeze bottles work much better than the traditional orientation, so who knows.
Those bottles are good for lots of things. Condiments, cooking oils, liquid sweeteners.
I have a bunch of them at my house.
I forgot how bad those bottles are until I found some real mustard made by Heinz (not that nasty, tasteless neon yellow crap ::shudder:: they usually sell). It’s comes in a ketchup bottle just with a different label slapped on the outside. Those bottles are good for hamburgers, with their large round surface area, not so much for hot dogs with with the longer, narrower design. Anyway, I opened the brand new bottle of mustard & went to put some on a soft pretzel & splort - it’s now dripping off both sides; all I wanted was a line up the middle of the pretzel. No other manufacturer’s bottle gives you that heaping excess quantity if you squeeze just a little bit too hard the way the Heinz sphincter does.
OTOH, I wonder how many ounces of Gulden’s I’ve thrown out due to a knife not really getting much because of their design with a narrow opening & a relatively long, thin bottle
Ketchup can go bad. When it is really old, it will turn brown and thick, and taste extremely vinegary.
I have had this happen to me more than once when taking an old ketchup packet out of a drawer, squeezing it onto my food, and having a nasty surprise. 
It tastes FOUL.
Mustard, on the other hand, I have never seen it expire. They have expiration dates, but I’ve never had old mustard that changed its taste. The worst thing I’ve ever experienced with mustard is having it dry out so that it’s a solid rather than an aqueous liquid. In that case, of course, its inedible, unless you like it in crunchy chunks you have to pry out with a sharp knife.
I solve this problem by repurposing the container with its last centimeter of unusable mayonnaise for salad dressing. Just pour in some vinegar and mustard and any additional ingredients to taste (e.g. a pinch of sugar, some granulated garlic, maybe some dried herbs), shake hard for ten seconds, and bingo, homemade salad dressing in a convenient squeeze bottle.
Is anybody else unable to read the typo in the thread title without mentally hearing the whole title in the wail of a lisping toddler?
“Heinthe Eathy Thqueethe Kethcup Bottleth are Flawed and I hate them!! WAAAAHHH!!!”
Please tell me these expired bottles of salad dressing you two keep around for years and years are unopened? Maybe forgotten and stashed at the back of the pantry? Because buying a new bottle won’t break the bank and keeping bottles of unused condiments for decades at the very least is a waste of space. Especially in the fridge don’t you ever clean out the fridge?
WRT the OP, I’ll unscrew the cap and pour, it avoids the ketchup farts.
Sure, but we like variety and at any given time have five or six different bottles of salad dressing, all open and in use. There’s no reason to toss a quarter full bottle off Italian dressing just because it’s old, hell, it’s a member of the family.
I admit to finding old spices from the previous decade in my spice cupboard. Meat tenderizer from 2015 I still use. 
I almost never use salad dressing, but keep it in the fridge for visitors. No, i never look at it. Except when I’m putting out food for a party. Then, i want to know that I’m not going to pain my guests. 