The marketing boys are sleeping well tonight.
My relatives are so wrapped up in brand loyalty is makes me sick. I was sent out to buy ketchup for the wieners and burgers. Fine, I’ll whip on over to Cumby’s (convenience store) and be back in five minutes.
Oh no. That’s too easy. I wasn’t allowed to buy anything but Heinz ketchup. Hunts just would not do. So I ended up having to drive to the frickin-frackin grocery store and stand behind every college student with a fake ID in their trembling little hands trying to buy a case of Smirnoff Ice.
It took me a half an hour to buy a single bottle of manna of the gods, I mean, Heinz ketchup.
And dig this argument – I was told that the difference between Heinz and Hunts is comparable to my aversion to Maxwell House coffee in favor of locally roasted fresh ground beans.
So I shot them.
No I didn’t … but jeez-louise, this isn’t rocket science. Both ketchups are mass produced by virtually identical processes in factories 1000’s of miles from here, how friggin’ different can they be?!?
Now you might be quick to comment, “Nice rant, Jack, what’s it doing in this forum?”
To which I’d respond with several creative swear words – but I won’t.
Instead I’ll put it to the Teeming Millions…
Which is the better ketchup: Heinz or Hunts? Or does it make one god-damned bit of difference?
Thank you for you kind attention.
And the weenies were great … thanks for asking.