Hell. Officially scared out of me.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m home alone. Doors locked, alarm on. Standard day.

From the basement, I hear a voice upstairs. Then more. Shit. :eek:
The alarm didn’t go off and the dogs aren’t barking.

Luckily, I have things available to me for protection. Not wanting to make noise or compromise my hearing or position, I press the panic button on the alarm pad. Silently, the police will come.

They’re still talking up there, yelling, now, but they must be in the den or kitchen because it’s too far away to make anything out.

I stay in the basement, because I don’t know who’s out there, and the stairs creak.

Then, my daughter starts screaming. “Dad, NO, Don’t let them take me! Noooo!” then silence.

Shit. She’s at school. What’s going on? Its ‘Taken’ right here, right now!
I bust up the stairs and into the dining room, ready to start shooting, but no one’s there, and it’s quiet now. I clear the house, yelling for her, but the place is empty.

The cops arrive, and tell me no one is outside, and no cars came out past them.

As I’m calling the school from the den with cops around, some subdued voices start coming from the kitchen. :eek:

We all turn around and sneak into the kitchen to find…

The digital photo frame is playing a movie clip of our family sitting around. The previous voices were from another clip of the kids playing on the beach. My nephews were picking up my daughter to throw her in the water. :smack:

Apparently, my wife decided to add a lot of pictures to the SD card in the frame, so she just grabbed a bunch of pictures and loaded them up. Sometimes the kids will flip the camera to movie mode and take some clips that way, and they end up in the mix in my picture folders.

Damn kids.
They’ll be the death of me yet.

2

That is scary, but, at least for me, as long as the dogs aren’t barking I know that if I think I hear something, there’s no one in the house, or near the house, or looking at the house, or thinking about the house, or planning to come by the house some time next week. Those things are on a hair trigger. I even let the bushes in front grow up past the windows so they don’t bark at every damn thing that walks past the house.

3

Sounds like a Liam Neeson movie. Or was it Jodie Foster?

4

Chin up! Someday you’ll get to draw on a legitimate bad guy. You might even get to shoot somebody!

5

Yeah, the dogs are our primary alarm system as well. They will hear and react to a squirrel fart in the neighbor’s yard. No way anyone or anything is getting inside the house without them coming unglued.

6

You are going to give yourself a heart attack. Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist to help you dial it down on the paranoia? Unless you neglected to mention you live in a Mexican border town, this level of fear is neither healthy nor rational.

7

Yup, plenty of times I’ve been in my basement or bathroom or bedroom and thought “Did I just hear my door open?” and then realized that if the door opened, the dogs wouldn’t be still laying on the couch (or whatever they were doing), they’d be barking up a freaking storm. They’re just two mini-schnauzers, certainly not scary, but if you just saw an open attached garage or open front door (with a storm/screen door) and you decided to use that opportunity to break into a house you’d likely go running as soon as two dogs dogs came tearing across the linoleum to greet you loud enough that it sometimes gets the neighbors dog worked up as well. Obviously that’s going to get the homeowner’s attention so you might as well keep walking and look for another open window then you can get in and out of without calling so much attention to yourself.

8

Keeping in mind he actually heard his daughter yelling, I don’t think it was that out of line.

9

How about this one?

I was home, alone. I decided to have a shower, leaving the bathroom door open. The shower has a glass stall.

When I’m home alone, I usually turn off all the lights except for the room I’m in.

I’m getting it all steamy, when suddenly … I see a head pass, slowly and silently, right across the dark bathroom doorway! In the dark, I couldn’t see a body- just the head.

I was sure I was just seeing things. No-one could get in without making a noise, right? I go back to showering … and the head passes, slowly and silently, the other way!

Okay, I was now shitting myself, nearly literally. I definitely saw it this time. WTF?

I turn off the shower and investigate, to find … my son’s “Spongebob” foil helium balloon, negected in his bedroom for months (and head-sized), had lost just enough gas to float at head-height … :smack:

10

No, me either. Funny story is all it turned out to be. Glad for that!

11

**ducati **has started threads before where he was ready to shoot somebody because of some noise or something.

12

As a general rule maybe. But under the circumstances the OP described I think his reactions were appropriate.

13

If I could actually hear people talking and my daughter calling for help, I wouldn’t assume everything was okay just because the dogs weren’t barking. My thought would be that whoever was in my house must have killed the dogs when they broke in.

14

I liked the one where he brandished a weapon for no reason at a couple guys in the Home Depot parking lot.

15

If you have a problem with the OP, take it to the Pit, don’t take pot shots (sic) in MPSIMS.

twickster, MPSIMS moderator

16

If you haven’t read “[URL=“http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=160851”]The Horror of Blimps,” you must. A classic.

17

That’s what the Spongebob story reminded me of, too. I agree, it’s a must-read. In fact, as long as the link’s handy . . .

18

IIRC ducati is or was a LEO. He is trained to react that way. Being prepared to fire your weapon is not the same as a desire to use it against a human being.

His actions seem reasonable for a Father, Husband, Home Owner and LEO.

My two cents

Capt

ETA I wonder if the Cops who showed for the call were amused? ducati, what did they say after you heard the “talking picture frame”?

19

:eek: :smiley:

Holy shit, that was funny. :cool:

The author has a far better ability to describe than I.

But yeah, having a silent menace drift about really did scare the crap outta me. :smiley:

20
  1. I didn’t see this as a pot shot. Anyone else?
  2. Why did you type (sic)?