Dammit! I can’t have this thing delivered to my apartment, because the front door is locked and they won’t leave it outside. Normally, I have stuff delivered to my office, but my nosy co-workers like to open my packages for me. I’m the only male in the office.
I have therefore offered the few friends who will still associate with me a free Pussy Snorkel package (T-shirt and Snorkel) if one of them will accept the delivery. Another stipulation is that the package must be opened, and tried on, at a bar of my choosing. I intend to document the incident with digital cameras, if we can fend off the girls that long.
It should go nicely with Tequila Mockingbird’s field report. I have been informed that certain individuals consider this nonsense to be too humorous to be sexual. Oh, yeah? Wait 'till I break out the goggles and the Balaclava to go with it! I have a clown suit, too, you know. This is not humor; it’s science. And we all know that science is inherently sexy. Look at how much play Ben Franklin got.
If these things work half as well as I expect they should, you’ll need a squirt of Dristan. You heard it here first.