Hello, I am
Cyndi and my right breast is named Candi
- A Hulkamaniac
- A bad example
- A little teapot
- Late for a very important date
- Undressing you with my eyes
- On a mission from God
- About to explode
- Beldar from France
- Gaseous
- Repulsive
- The greatest
- Taking a long lunch break
- Johnny Cash
- Molting
- So confused
Hello. I’m
• A Man
• A Goddess
• A Man
• A Virgin
• A Man
• A Blue Movie
• A Man
• A Bitch
• A Man
• A Geisha
• A Man
• A Little Girl (And We Make Love Together)
Okay, Second verse!
I kid:D
Nice one, smutty but not too offenseve 
… warping time and space.
… 98% water. Do not stand between me and the bathroom.
… attracting every other piece of matter in the universe.
… IRON MAAAAAANNNNN!
- about to fart
- screaming on the inside
- all out of love
- Woman, hear me roar
- looking for my next victim
- the wanderer
- doing Kegles
- making this up as I go along
- tecnically a fruit, but widely thought of as a vegetable
- undergoing electroshock therapy
- structurally sound
- Super! Thanks for asking!
-Bored, until recently (thanks to PussyCow)
-Struggling to contain laughter at work (again, thanks to PussyCow)
-Tired
-Not going to get drunk for the second night in a row, in months.
-Wondering what to do instead.
Hello, my name is
Mudd
- loathing what you’re about to say
- not aware what this nametag says
- easy, but you have to do all the work
- a filthy beast of meat and hair
- a nametag designer
- lying to you to get you in bed
- not actually on the guest list
- a novelty adhesive device. My hosts name is Ted
- thinking of biting your nose
- not amused by your witty nametag
- a Scratch’N’Sniff sticker
- just stopping in to take a whiz
[ul]
[li]Stardust, I am golden. And I got to get myself back to the garden.[/li][li]Looking at the river, but thinking of the sea.[/li][li]Perpetually awaiting a rebirth of wonder.[/li][li]Never gonna fall in love again. [/li][/ul]
A fish!
Gazpacho soup!
about to go postal
not going to fix your computer (worn at work)
Hello, I am:
[ul]
[li]not just another brick in the wall[/li][li]on minimum wage[/li][li]smarterer than you[/li][li]invisible[/li][li]high[/li][/ul]
-waiting in line to pee.
-IRONMAN…hahahaha.
-not a crook.
Hello, I am chopped liver. (god if you have a few Jewish guests)
– The eye in the sky
– Smelling like a rose that somebody gave me on my birthday deathbed.
– Woman, hear me roar!
– Pond scum (10 points to anyone who gets that!)
-
Albert Andreas Armadillo. No relation to the Sarsaparillas.
-
S-M-R-T
-
Your father. [Insert mechanical breathing sounds.]
-
the One.
-
looking for a partner, someone who gets things fixed. Ask yourself this question: Do you want to be rich?