Several times over the past month, people have made comments about me being gay. No, I don’t mean in that childish “Yer so gay!” way, but rather, making the assumption that I am homosexual.
Like tonight. I phoned up a friend of mine to see if he wanted to join me for dinner. I was going to just phone in an order and pick it up along with a rental DVD or whot not, but I decided to actually associate with someone and have a nice experience. Nothing special, just dining with company.
Well, we both drive up at the same time and go inside to the front girl. I say, “Two, please” and we get seated right away.
At the table is where I first noticed that almost everyone there were couples. After all, it is a nice-ish place. Nothing to feel wierd about. I’ve dined alone, with a date, with a group, it’s just seating. I don’t know, maybe I’m being a bit paranoid, but damn if it didn’t seem like everyone had to look at the two guys dining together. Hmmm… I’ll just shrug it off.
The waitress came and chatted us up a bit before taking our drink order. Well, she seemed to be deferring to me with all her questions. No biggie. Except she asked me what my “companion” would be having. I smiled and said, “I really don’t know. Why don’t you ask him?” My buddy says (after she leaves), “Did she just ask you what I would be having?” And we laughed about it. Hmmm… Okay, it’s just me being touchy…
Thing is, we weren’t the only same sex pairing in there after all. Seated behnd me were two middle aged, well… young middle age, women. As they paid out and left, they stopped by our table and told us how pleasant it was to see a young gay couple like us enjoying a decent evening on the town without having to worry about what everyone thought.
I know, she was just trying to be nice and correct and all. If this weren’t the heart of the heartland, the gay issue would’ve never come up, I don’t think. So, she was showing her acceptance of us and praising our not being self conscious and stuff, but… WE AREN’T GAY. We’re just two guys having a meal at a fairly decent place.
I guess we could’ve gone to a Chinese buffet, or a low price steak house, or even fast food. But, I was in the mood for this place, either as a carry out or dine in. Is it that unusual to see two men dining that you have to assume we are a couple?
Funny thing is, this wasn’t the first time I had to deal with “Is he gay?” this week. Last night, I went with a group to another very nice place for dining. Lessee… four couples, a recently divorced friend and her long widowed father, me, and a very pretty young single woman. I mean, a real cutie. Petite, blonde hair, big titties, great smile, and a reputation as a kind of “out there” person. Very charming, too. Just my type, as all my friends know. You guessed it, set up. Well, it was a very pleasent evening, and afterwards a few of us, including the knockout, went to a real late showing of ROTK where we shared a great big laugh. You see, the cute chick and I had gone a couple of times before already. And we decided it wasn’t going to work out. Just not as compatible as intial appearances might have suggested. The other couple with us at the movie told me that the setter upper made the comment about me, “He doesn’t like her? What? Is he gay?”
Earlier this month, I mentioned to an aquaintance about a home decor argument my BUSINESS partner and I had had on one of our remodel jobs, though all I said was partner. He says, “Partner?! Are you a fag now?” (This guy is a bit of a homophobe, but that took me by surprise.)
Okay, so it is Oklahoma. The “Heart of the Heartland.” And families are the norm here, I guess. And I’m a 40 yr old single guy. Yes, I dress fairly nice. Yes, I go to a salon and not a barbour. Yes, I’m not a very quiet person, I like to have fun when I go out. Is that the stereotype for being gay?
Keep in mid that I’m also a redneck boy by some people’s standards. My dancin’ shoes are a pair of Dan Post shit kikkers. My friendly outgoingness is somewhat tempered by a take no shit from anyone attitude.
Also, I don’t look at all like the stereotype of a “poof” that some may still have. “Oh, Bruce, you’re SO butch!”
I’m just a normal looking, slightly louder than normal, unmarried older single man. And, I’m currently unattatched romantically. But, goodness, just because I’m not with a girl everytime I go out, does that mean I’m gay?
fyi, I have no problems with anyone who is gay, or even with anyone who meets the standard stereotypes that some still mistakenly lump all gays in.
I’m just a bit tired this month of being asked if I’M gay.
NO, I’M NOT. Thank you for listening.
