I’m writing a novel/collection of short stories which is going to include a lesbian love story, specifically a student (approximately 18-19 years of age) having a crush on her teacher. I’d like some help with portraying this realistically. If a boy of 18 years were in love with his teacher, I’d know exactly how to portray that (I’ve been there), but what does a young lesbian think when she’s looking at the object of her love, sitting in class? Could you give me some hints? What would you think or were thinking?
If it’s too personal to trumpet out on a message board, I’d appreciate an email. Click the “email” button for my address. Thanks in advance.
Hmm, well, back when I was a lesbian, and 18 years old, in my first years of university, I had a very spunky confirmed dyke anatomy lecturer.
She was the only reason I actually went to 8am anatomy lectures. I used to giggle internally every time she said something that could have been taken sexually (and she did it a lot, on purpose, because she was English).
She lectured on female repro anatomy (among other things) which lead to my mind going all sorts of places…
I thought a lot about asking for a private tutorial on the female external genetalia, but never did (I’m shy that way).
Later on, learning the cranial nerves, she taught me the mnemonic
“Oh, oh, oh, to touch a fresh virgin girl’s vagina - ah, happiness!”
I remember wishing (in my virginal state at the time) that she’d actually do that to me.
Oh, plus all the usual perving - if she leaned over (i always sat in the front row cos I’m a nerd) I would try and get a look down her shirt.
The only person in “authority” who I ever crushed on was my dance teacher.
I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world (despite the fact that her beauty is very unconventional). I was always showing off for her - bringing her poems (mostly ones I’d written), singing her songs. I’d leave candy bars and Lifesaver flavours I knew she liked in her mailbox. I’d come over to her house for tea and we’d talk for an hour or two. She gave me a silver ring for my birthday, and a set of Tarot cards for Christmas.
I was insanely jealous of all of her boyfriends. I helped her move. I wanted to be the best person in the world for her. When she canceled plans for us to get together, I’d cry and cry. Going to see her gave me agonizing butterflies in my stomach. Looking back, I am amazed she was so patient with me.
Exactly, thanks, and thanks to kung fu lola as well. That the object of desire is a teacher isn’t that important, really, so don’t get hung up on that. I’m more looking for general sentiments and thoughts. If you could verbalize some thoughts you had at the time, that’d be perfect.
By 18-19 I was out of education and also over that sort of crush, but when I was about 14-16, oh god… I had crushes that I thought would kill me. As others have said here making a total show of yourself is a large part of it. Attracting attention, being noticed (be it for good or bad).
Something to bear in mind when writing about babydykes is, imho, the fact that there is often a little confusion between wanting to be with, and wanting to be like. I know (now!) that for example the crush I had on my lgbt youth group leader was based totally on the fact that she was many of the things that I wanted to be, older, beautiful, confident, out, etc. Realistically and in hindsight totally not someone for me, but at the time my heart was breaking with unrequited (puppy) love.
I idolized the object of my affection. I thought she was perfect. I practically worshipped her. All I thought about when I was with her was what would impress her, what would please her. I was just dying for her approval.
Oh stop kung fu lola, I am squirming with embarassment for myself reading this thread. Last I was home in Ireland I found an old diary from that year (yes, the only time in my life I kept a diary) and I read through it. Sweet jesus :shakes head: so much melodrama and overreaction, and the nobleness (bwahaha) expressed when the crushee started going out with a mutual friend… “I love her so much that if they are happy together, then that is enough for me :sniff:” etc. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry reading it, but I am in hindsight glad I experienced it. At the time I thought I was discreet, but I realise now I was most likely not. Luckily the crushee never let on.
Did I mention at one point that I seriously considered runnign away to sea? I actually contacted the Navy.
One small tip, Priceguy: There’s a line in a Jimmy Buffett song that goes: “Don’t try to describe the ocean if you’ve never seen it.”
At least realize that you are getting on shakey ground when you attempt to write about things you’ve never experienced. Those who have been there and done that may notice a major gaffe that you aren’t aware of.
At least get someone familiar with your subject to proof it for you.
If Tenessee Williams can write Stanley Kowalski then Priceguy can write “wide-eyed little baby-dyke”. (Jimmy Buffett, on the other hand can’t write anything.)
We all love the same, we all get hurt the same, we all get butterflies, we all melt.
Lesbians are lesbians, they are not aliens.
Don’t forget paying compliments whenever possible and hanging around the object of one’s affection all the time. I had a huge crush on my dorm’s RA and consequently used to pretend to lose my dorm room key so that she would have to come let me into my room with her master key.
I agree with what Iteki said on the being like/being with thing, too. The afore-mentioned RA was a charming, popular cheerleader type of the kind I’d always simultaneously despised and admired, which made life very confusing.
"If Tenessee Williams can write Stanley Kowalski then Priceguy can write “wide-eyed little baby-dyke”.
I sincerely hope Priceguy can write as well as Tennessee Williams. Since literature is rife with errors made by authors who didn’t, for instance, visit a city they wrote about, I thought a word of caution was appropriate.
“Jimmy Buffett, on the other hand can’t write anything.”
A large portion of the population does not agree with you on this point.
I was actually thinking about this the other day. Is there the same level of objectification of women in the lesbian community as there is in the straight male community? Sure, I do my share of subtle ogling and fantasizing, but in my very limited experience it isn’t the same stereotypical locker room talk.
I can also echo the confusion between wanting to be with, and wanting to be like. It’s definitely an issue and maybe something you want your character to ruminate on?
As for how the character might express interest- the flirting is probably similar to straight relationships, but there is the added element of being found out. I can remember saying things that could be construed as borderline racy to my best friend, but making sure I had a way out. And protectiveness- I can remember vowing to beat up any of her boyfriends that mistreated her. Your basic embarrassing butchy nobility. ; )