I’ve had jealousy issues in my current relationship from about the beginning of us getting together for a few reasons, but I figured it was something that would disappear with time. However, we’ve been together for over one and a half years now, so evidently that’s not quite the case.
Basically, I know way TMI about his past relationships - sexual TMI. To the point where there isn’t a single exploit that I don’t know about, in detail. I also know the girls that each exploit happened with, so hurrah for imagery. The problem also being that I was friends with one of his exes, and she also spilled a lot more information than I would want to know about the two of them. He says now he mainly told me all that stuff as a way to impress me (rolls eyes the fragile male ego and all that), but I still hold a grudge about how much it had hurt to hear about it all, him going on about how good some things were, etc etc. He was also my first real love, and I lost my virginity to him, so I am a little more sensitive about his past than I should be.
He also had eyes on two female friends of his just prior to us getting together, and still kept up comments about them and voicing worries to me about how bad he’d feel if one of them made a move on him, because he didn’t think he could knock it back. This is all over a year ago in the past, now, but I still can’t quite get over the same worries that I had back when it was happening, since the two girls are still both close friends of his.
On the ex situation… I know perhaps it just makes me petty, but I can’t quite get past all that I know and heard and forget the whole thing. In a way I still haven’t forgiven him from all the things that he did say (how much he’d love to have a certain ex back, etc) and I really need advice on how to forgive him for it so we can get past this. I’m tired of holding a grudge over it, but I can’t quite get all the imagery and comments out of my head.
And meanwhile, the friend situation still makes me wary. I know by now that technically he’s past it all, but I still have the worry that if one of them did make a move, he really wouldn’t be able to reject it. That whole thought was ingrained in my mind by him, and I’m not sure how to remove it. The whole situation is driving me crazy the longer it goes on for, and I’m desperate for some good advice. I don’t want this to cause any more arguments than it already has, and I don’t want it to cause the end of the relationship.
So, dopers, I’m begging for advice here… how can I get past this?