Asking to post the rule"s is asking for trouble. Gina will just see it as confrontational. Of course it would be the right" thing to do, but when you’re at risk of losing good care for your horse it’s too high a price.
Jayrey, I’ve been in nearly your exact situation. I’ve put up with a lot of shit from barn owners, vets and shoers because they provided the best care for my horses. I learned I needed to think about the professional relationships differently. When I stepped back and started looking at them as business relationships rather than friendships they were easier to tolerate. I hope it’s not too late, but bond with your fellow boarders and not your professionals. That way when Gina flips out, it’s more of a “the boss is on another rampage :rolleyes:)” situation rather than a friend flipping out on you. I hope you can get the mental distance you need.
As for not taking the lessons for a few weeks, look at it as an investment in your mental health. That’s priceless!
Sadly, it is. This would be my first choice – to sit down quietly and discuss things, no blame attached, a “Gee, isn’t it tough to manage everything we have our plates” kind of conversation, but I know from past experience with her that she would have none of it. When these sorts of misunderstandings have happened previously, she refuses to discuss it. “This is how it is. If you don’t like it, leave,” is her only reply.
Thank you for all your responses. Thank you, especially, to those of you who have pointed out, gently and with good humor, that this is definitely a First World problem. (Yes, **Gothic **and Robert163, I’m lookin’ at you.) Believe me, I know it. I know that I am blessed in many, many ways in my life. Thanks for not jumping all over me with hobnail boots for complaining about such a “problem.”
I so appreciate the collective wisdom of the Dope. I have decided to do as many of you advise: focus on the fact that my horse gets great care (until the time he doesn’t, if that happens), watch for other boarding/training opportunities, and keep my mouth shut to my barn mates. I have discussed the situation with only one barn mate and we took an oath, pinky-swear and everything, to never admit to anyone else at the barn that that conversation happened. If anyone else mentions the email, I will simply say that it’s too bad that Gina was having such a bad day and move on to another topic. You have done exactly what asked, helped me adjust my attitude. Y’all rock!
Special thanks to **Helena330 **and ddsun. You’ve clearly walked this path yourself and your insight and advice is spot-on. Many thanks.
As a long time horse person who’s been both a boarder and a barn manager/trainer, she sounds burnt out. And until she gets some breathing room it may not get any better.
So yes, I agree that an apology for putting the hay back without checking with her first is probably a good move, and then just keep your head down and do your thing. If you want to do more you can offer more help, but don’t expect to be thanked for and and be careful that it doesn’t get taken for granted so much that it becomes not a favor but an expected part of your being there.
I think in your shoes I’d focus on the great care my horse was getting, do my own thing, and maybe start quietly poking around for other possible situations. It also might not hurt to review your boarding contract.
You have no power or options here other than leaving and it sounds like she would be able to replace you as a customer quite easily. She knows this and you know this. You need to resign yourself to taking the occasional whipping and moving on.
I would say you have a right to be angry. Also, sometimes, life just sucks. It doesn’t quite quench what you should get. Looks like you have no choice but to stay with her although you would rather have a more perfect trainer.