My little sister (age 13) has hit a rough patch with her friends and it’s really getting to her.
My sister (We’ll call her Maggie) has been fairly popular throughout school. She’s got a best friend (Caity). They’ve been inseparable since they were four.
Well, lately, there’s been some drama. For one thing, their school’s sports teams have fallen apart so Maggie and Caity ended up on different teams. They both have separate groups of friends now, which I think has contributed to it. They’ve gotten competitive about who has MORE friends. but they still have a lot of friends in common.
Anyway. Another girl (Abby) had a party. My sister had friends with a girl (Missy) who was attending the party. My mom, with Maggie, went over to Abby’s house to collect Missy and there was a whole party going on. A mother of one of the kids runs up to my mom and casually tells her that Abby didn’t invite Maggie on purpose becuase Caity told her not to.
Apparently nobody told my sister right off the bat. My mom told me and asked what I thought she should do. She said Maggie was taking it pretty well (I guess she didn’t realize that Maggie, at that point, had no idea.) I said not to worry- Maggie’s a smart girl and will be okay.
But today, Missy called and said “don’t tell anyone I told, but you weren’t invited to Abby’s party becuase caity told her not to invite you.” and Maggie came to me in tears.
As far as I can tell, this is unprovoked. I realize I’m only getting one side of it, but Mags didn’t seem to realize there was a problem until Missy called. She was going to go on vacation with Caity’s family, she has Caity listed under MaH GuRlZ on her AIM profile, she was talking fondly about Caity’s dog this morning, etc.
I bought her a coke and some gummy bears and we watched Law and Order, which cheered her up a bit (I think that may be the first time in history that Law and Order cheered anyone up.) and I told her that Caity’s just jealous becuase she’s smarter and prettier and if she acts like this through high school, she won’t keep many friends and it makes no sense to act like she’s better than her friends and then prove how low she can be.
But what can I do for her now? Just leave her to work it out on her own? Just provide sympathetic, non-judgemental big sister ears? I’d love to go after the girl and ream her for doing that to my sister and then the other girl for not standing up and saying, “that’s stupid. This is my party and I’ll invite whomever I like. And if you won’t come because Maggie’s there, then I’d rather have someone like Maggie there than someone like you.” but I know I can’t fix it for her and trying to would probably make it worse. But what CAN I do? what can I say to help her?