Help me exploit my roommate's amazing super power!

I’m serious, I need ideas on how to make this work to my/our/her advantage! There’s got to be some angle, and I’m counting on the collective minds of the Dope to help me find it!

My roommate has an amazing super power; I’m convinced it’s real, because coincidence doesn’t work this reliably. Unfortunately it’s not something immediately useful… she can’t fly, she can’t move things with her mind, and I’m not going to test whether or not she’s impervious to bullets because I’m guessing she’s probably not.

What is her power?

She has the uncanny power to time things to be as inopportune for me as possible; even when I take this ability into account and adjust my own schedule to try to counteract it, her superpower overrides my adjustments and STILL makes her actions arrive at exactly the wrong time!


I play an online game called iSketch, basically Pictionary online. A precursor to Draw Something. Up to ten people can be in a basic room at once, and we all wait in line until our turn to draw. When I’m playing, she never EVER comes into my room to talk to me unless it’s my turn to draw… but when I’m drawing? BOOM, there she is!

The other day I was going to pick her up after work. I didn’t know exactly when, she would call me when she was ready, but I knew to within an hour or so. The expected time came and went. An hour passed, and she hadn’t called. Another hour passed, and she hadn’t called. At this point I figured she was going to be working later than expected, so I put some burritos in to cook, figuring that she’d call as soon as I did but that’s ok, I’d let them cook while I went and got her, and when we got home they’d be ready. Nope… they finished cooking and she still hadn’t called. So I sat down, turned on the TV and began eating. Three bites… THREE BITES into my burrito… she called.

Not half an hour ago, I was in my room watching a movie I’d never seen before. Very interesting movie, the tension slowly builds until the climactic moment at the end… and suddenly, here she is! She wants to talk to me about something, so I pause the movie RIGHT in the middle of the big climax. Ten minutes later she’s done, and I re-start my movie… and watch the last four minutes, with every bit of tension dispersed, and I really don’t care what happens to anybody anymore.

Confirmation bias, you say. I thought so too… but this happens far too often to be mere coincidence. If she’d come in during someone else’s drawing, or call just before I put the burritos in the oven, or talk to me in the middle of the movie during a boring part, that would be something else. But no, it’s always at the perfectly timed exact wrong moment, as if she were doing it on purpose… but she’s not.

It’s gotta be magic.

How can we turn this to our advantage? I don’t even care if it can be stopped; it’s like a force of nature, sometimes, so I can accept it if it has to keep happening. Even if I personally don’t get any benefit out of it, if she can turn it to her advantage that’d be great! Just anything to keep it from being a mere annoyance!

Any ideas?

Start watching some porn and see if she comes in… Could get interesting.

I) This is why I keep my door locked when I watch Porn. It helps… but she still knocks. I have learned to not watch when she’s home.

II) Unfortunately I’m not attracted to her in that way anyway; if I were, she’d only knock right after I’d finished.

III) Hi Op… dammit, Hi Roommate. No, go away. I’m busy!

There’s a scientist named Murphy who studied this phenomenon a great deal, I think he formulated a law or something.

She is…The Inconveniencer!

My mother also has this superpower and I’ve never figured out a way to use it to my advantage.

I had a DVR thingy, so I record shows she doesn’t like (for example Supernatural) trouble is I never get the chance to watch anything as she doesn’t go to bed until midnight, and gets up early. Occasionally she’ll be in bed when I get up so I think it’s safe to watch an episode and soon as it gets to a gory bit, who walks into the room - herself. Cue her screaming bloody murder at me for watching.

When I’m driving she will sit in complete silence until I get to a junction or some other busy part of the road where I need to concentrate on the other traffic and right then she’ll open her mouth and start talking to me - and she’s not the sort of person you can tune out when she suddenly YELLS IN YOUR EAR.

Before she developed her Parkinson’s like condition she used to come into the kitchen when I’d be cooking, never at a time when I was twiddling my thumbs waiting, but right when I had a pan full of hot water in my hands, and she’d make damn sure she stood in the most inconvenient place so that I’d end up sloshing hot water all over the place. Or better yet, sneak up behind me and YELL IN MY EAR when I was doing something with a sharp knife. Dear gawd I was glad we moved into a house with a lockable kitchen door!

I was trimming my late father’s hair for him (when he was still alive like) and she’d silently watch until I had the scissors near his eyes, at which point she’d YELL SOMETHING INCONSEQUENTIAL, and I’d nearly stab Dad in the eye.

My wife has a similar superpower: she always calls me, asking where I am and what time I’ll be home, when I’m eleven blocks away. Always. It’s scary how often I’ll just reach 19th street (we live on 8th) and the phone will ring: “Where are you?” “Eleven blocks away, as usual.”

It’s gotten to the point that I’ve told her, “Whenever you feel like you just have to call me and find out where I am, wait another three minutes. I’ll probably be home by then.”

I don’t think that this is a superpower and I don’t think it’s coincidence. I think that these people subconsciously know just when to grab your attention. They’re like the cat who knows just how to get underfoot.

Sounds like you should open a restaurant and hire her as a waitress, because they ALL have that superpower.

(this assumes that she can reorient her power onto someone besides you.)

This is not a super-power. Every toddler has this ability, she simply failed to grow out of it. Does she also manage to “get out of your way” by moving into exactly the spot you’ll be heading to next?