Spouse walk into the room or something? 
Wife got your tongue?
This is going to take quite a bit of work.
You know, I just realized that could be taken in more than one way. Please recognize it for the innocent quip it was.
Now how the &*@# did that heppen? Here’s what should have been there:
There’s this thing my wife does about once a week. It drives me nuts. I really hope that there’s some kind of cure for it. My peace of mind is ruined. I think my marriage depends on you! That enough pressure yet? OK here goes. About once a week my wife ask me this question:
Do you love me?
Really, she does. It’s true. After I’ve married her and everything. I mean, I know I say it every now and then. I occasionally bring her flowers, for no reason other than someone was selling them in a location I happened to be in. We have a good sex life. Yet she asks me that.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Big deal. Tell her yes or something like that and move on. That doesn’t work. Apparently I’m supposed to say more. I’m not exactly sure of the what more. But simply saying “Sure” or “Of course I do” leaves her looking slightly less than satisfied. She goes on to prove that by asking next:
Why do you love me?
I once answered this question honestly. I said: "Hmmm, I don’t know, I just do” You could here crickets chirping. An urgent memo form my crotch said "Great, …Thanks a lot…you did remember to buy lotion right?”
Now it wouldn’t be so bad if I could relate. But I only ask my wife “Do you love me” when I’ve gone out and brought something expensive. Or maybe broken some dish or glass that’s important to her. I’ve never asked the second question. I mean why would I want her to examine her feelings that deeply. She may come to her senses and leave me. No better to leave well enough alone.
So help me out here.
My husband hits me with the same questions. Makes me crazy… I don’t know what triggers it and I don’t know how to deal with it. I can’t think of anything I’ve done to make him ask me that. 18 years and I still can’t figure him out…
My husband’s technique is to always answer questions like that with the worst possible answer:
“do you love me?”
No
“Why do you love me?”
I don’t.
This has really trained me not to ask stupid questions in order to get my ego stroked. Now I either ask for what I want, or tell him what he feels:
“Tell me I’m the best woman in the whole wide world”
You’re the best woman in the whole wide world
“You’re crazy about me.”
No I’m not
“Yes you are. You just won’t admit it because you know it gives me power over you.”
But I don’t know if you could work this technique into the middle of a marrige: we have done this from the start.
You could just try explaining to her that you don’t like to feel like you are being “tested” or that she has tied her happiness into whether or not you get the “right answer”. Suggest to her that if she tells you what shewants and dosen’t play guessing games, you would be much more likely to make her hapy, which is your ultimate goal.
I would bring all this up at a neutral time and location, not right after she’s asked the dredded question, if for no other reason than she probably asks that question at times when she is feels lonely and vunrable and is prone to Take Things the Wrong Way.
Female checking in here.
I’ve done this to my SO on occasion, maybe like on our anniversary or Valentines Day or something, but not often. Maybe
3 times in 3 years.
I think twice, he just threw out some random reasons. It was actually a lot of fun. It was lighthearted, and I learned a lot that I didnt know about how he saw me.
The other time(s), he probably said something like “Because you have big ol’ titties, and they aren’t too droopy”-or something equally romantic. :o But hey- I thought that was hilarious (warning: this angle may only work if you’re as goofy as we are!)
What I can tell you, though, is that they don’t necessarily have to be big, serious,earth-shattering reasons. She may not be looking for validation, she is probably just curious about what makes her special to you. So…
Instead of saying “because you’re pretty”
Say, " because you’ve got these huge green eyes that change colors and look muy sexy when you wear that certain dress"
Instead of saying “You’re a great nurterer”
Say, “I think its so cute when our Newfoundland puppy drools all over you, and you screech and fuss and act like you’ve been contaminated, but you still fawn over him and let him sleep at the foot of our bed.”
Instead of “you’re smart”
Say “All my friends say they’re embarassed to watch Jeopardy if you’re in the room, because you always beat the pants off all of us”. (uh-no pun intended, you pervs!)
Get the picture?
it may be that she asks because she’s wanting reassurance (and she may be wanting more even if you’re already giving her plenty). You might try telling her you love her more often of your own initiative, and maybe adding on a reason why (“I love the way you laugh” or something). If she gets enough of that kind of reassurance without having to ask, she probably won’t ask.
Good luck!
I ask Drachillix to examine his feelings for me all the time. Feelings can fade and I want his love for me to be based on something I can understand. If he were to answer " I don’t know" ( which he won’t; the man isn’t any kind of lazy thinker) I would have to remind him that he is the only one who does know.
What do I want him to say when I ask if he loves me? Something NOT vauge, NOT off-hand. I want him to give my query as much thought as anything else he considers important.
Would you answer any other with question in this manner? Why do you like (any sport, hobby, event) ? “I dunno, I just do” is an evasion and a non-answer. Think about the question. Why do you love her? Her physical attributes, her sense of humor and fun, her view of the world? Come on, man, it’s not that hard. And don’t think for one minute she’s not examined her feelings closely because she’s asking you a very important question. Give her a very important answer.
Your wife might just need some extra reassurance every now and then. It happens to all of us. You could tell her you love her 10 times a day for 6 months straight and the one day you don’t say it, she’ll ask you if you love her. My SO is like this sometimes. Drives me crazy but I’ve learned to deal with it.
Why don’t you make of list of 10 things you love about your wife and give it to her. My SO and I did this for each other and it was really sweet. Some of the reasons he listed took me by surprise because they weren’t all reasons relating to my physical self or my personality. It was the reasons like, “I love to watch you with the kids and I think you’re a wonderful mother” that really touched me. Even if you do this for her, she’ll still ask you why you love her! I do agree with sidle and Cyn about not being vague in your reasons. Be specific. That’s very important!!
Come up with an answer and provide it before she asks.
A detailed, thought out answer.
I admit I’m guilty of this question even though my darling SO tells me he lovesme about every five minutes, kissesme, holds my hand, and will do things like whisper in my ear that he missed me all day.
I still want to know what he sees in me that brings all of that on. IS it just that’s how he thinks the placeholder of his girlfriend should be treated or is he seeing something (old or new) about me that is amusing him?
In return I share what I find delightful about him at the moment it occurs. (I’ll spare the gag reflexes of the Teeming millions, but he has the cutest face!)
Just be observant and honest.
“Do you love me?”
“Of course I do, you have the greatest legs!”
“How could I not when you make me laugh so much?”
etc…
Sheesh, maybe I should just get a dog. 
Nah, I understand the need for validation, well sort of. But I guess I feel validated just by knowing she’s there whan I get up. I’m just not comfortable creating hallmarkesque speeches on the spur of the moment. Maybe it’s a man thing, but then FairyChatMoms post indicate that males aren’t immune to this either. I guess my real problem is that she makes me feel defensive when she asks. I automatically start wondering if I’ve wronged her someway.
I think I’ll try Kikis ideal. Thanks for the responses guyals keep 'em coming.
" I automatically start wondering if I’ve wronged her someway"
Maybe its the way you say it? I sometimes respond to women in email instead, it seems to have another effect.
But I won’t be getting married anytime soon, I don’t want to give up sex.