Help me plan an exit strategy in the MMP

[janis_and_c0]

**Mooooooom ** Get one of these
BTW thanks for all the hugs and love… I will really quit lurking one of these days, I promise.

[peedin]

Stop with the 10 emails an hour telling me “last Chance” to buy stuff. The worst is Microsoft. I get multiple messages a day from them. STOP IT!

[carnivorousplant]

@dogbutler

Mundane personal victory: Alex Catt hornked, and I caught it with a wad of paper towels before it hit the floor. Having a martini.

And well deserved. Excellent, Sir!

[kopek]

@FairyChatMom

First off, no I’m not leaving my fellow Mumpers or the Dope. I am, however, on the cusp of leaving my job.

As you know, I’ve been sharing an office with Baby Engineer (OK, his real name is Robert) for over 3 years. I’ve pranked him a couple of times, with harmless stuff like hiding plastic Easter eggs in his work area. And now that I’m leaving, he’ll be moving to my desk, which is better situated in the office and has more space.

SOOOOOOOOO - I need to prepare the desk for him. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! I want suggestions. Do your best/worst/most creative!!

Happy Moanday!

We’re back to the rattlesnake again. But other than that

1. Something from Uranus MO; a copy of their newspaper could be provided if you send me an address to send it to.
2. A voodoo-looking doll.
3. Two cents — and see if he’s smart enough to get it.
4. Something creepy like this https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5d77a40ac296755dcf2f0f6c/1570152684885-ENRXEB8B8EE10C7TXLG7/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kBKFQ7qRHJZGwLztmfyI8EJZw-zPPgdn4jUwVcJE1ZvWQUxwkmyExglNqGp0IvTJZUJFbgE-7XRK3dMEBRBhUpwCZ3wCdb1FW49tkeUFMv7vhGFaRTJmF8kyDih622riTic1sBPYw9LdZ9-nx3kiaQk/PRESERVED+BLACK+WIDOW+SPIDER2.jpg?format=500w
   copies of the Satanic Bible are also always nice to leave in things.
5. a small container of fingernail clippings and hair; extra points if they are nothing like your color.
6. pencils/pens from hospitals, funeral homes, and/or titty bars

and I am clearly putting too much thought in this

[kopek]

@FairyChatMom

Balloons, perhaps, but they’re too easy to remove, unless they’re full of glitter?? :eek:

Glitter and inflated in such a way it isn’t obvious ------- so with luck he pops one. Possibly taping on a handy hatpin?

@VOW

Packing tape to tape all drawers and cabinets shut is a nice touch.

My personal touch was to use double-sided tape and do it basically from the inside.

Be sure to wrap the entire desk in several layers of plasti-wrap.

(At Da Old Jungle we once wrapped a guys new truck closed but we had the supplies handy)

@EmilyG

A prank idea:
I used to prank people by making fake pens. I’d get pens where you can take out the top part (the tip) and the bottom part. I’d then make a pen that had two bottom parts, one on each end, put the cap back on, and leave it around or give it to people to try to write with.

Get someone near you who uses fountain pens to lend you some ink. Get some cheap Bic-like pens. Fill the cap with ink and then close. When he takes one out, with luck, he’ll use his teeth to hold the cap as he opens it.

@running_coach

Can you set up an air cannon?

Would you like a real cannon? I got one desk-sized I could rig with an automatic ignition and ---------- nah. That probably crosses the line from prank to booby trap.

[VOW]

@Beckdawrek

FCM…what about post it notes covering the desk top? I like the packing peanuts in a drawer too.
I’ve been awake most of the night. Dozed a couple times. This is crazy. My brain is tired. My body is sore. Did too much.
Rh6e Siamese cats are all over me. As soon as I sit down here they come. I would train them to wear swesters bit I value all my fingers and eyeballs.
Washin a bunch of sheets cats will love that.
Gotta eat.
Good mornin’ y’all

Not to worry. I’m fluent in typo!

I hosted in a busy AOL chat room for several years.
~VOW

[missred]

Johnny, were I in your shoes, I would consider changing jobs. It sounds like this one will lead to more misery.

Got my friend’s eye treatment trip done with for another six weeks. It took forty five minutes to get from midtown Nashville to Antioch on the east side (12 miles), which was longer than the remaining 28 miles to get him to where he is staying for a couple of days took. Am I ever so glad I don’t have to deal with that every day.

[Johnny_L.A]

I made fish Florentine tonight. I used cod, though I’m not a huge fan of cod. The sauce was excellent. Next time, I’ll use halibut or tilapia.

[Sunny_Daze]

Johnny I say start looking. It can’t hurt and if it works out, the rewards will be worth it.
Moommm I think Roxy is old enough to start learning signs. If you teach her things like “hungry”, and “bottle”, it helps a lot. Bonus - it’s adorable.

[nelliebly]

Beckdawrek, I easily understood the post but was a tad concerned because it sounded hypoglycemic-y. I was relieved to see subsequent posts where you sounded like your usual self.

I keep getting notices from USPS saying they tried to deliver a package. The latest one was in my (locked, secure) mailbox saying there was no secure location. It’s a tee shirt, for cryin’ out loud! And I’m not a big person. And there are big lock boxes underneath the mailboxes. The first two said there was no access to my apartment (wrong) and the second said the complex gate was locked, which it was because it was night time. On a Sunday.

I also spent an hour on the phone with my insurance company.

Thank heavens for this place.

[Spiderman]

Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, guess what page it is?

[StGermain]

FCM - You’re an engineer - surely you can figure out some way to rig his drawer with these can o’ snake things!

Or how about a realistic-looking snake coiled tucked in a corner or under the desk.

StG

[Beckdawrek]

Mom, get some wiggly eyes and stick them in odd places. It may take weeks to find them all. He’ll think he’s being watched.

[Mama_Zappa]

@FairyChatMom

Whatever I do has to be hidden till I’m gone, so I’m pretty much limited to the drawers and maybe the knee hole, so foil and post-its won’t do it. I could put stuff on the cork board under all my notes so when he removes my stuff, he’ll find a message…

I also have a limited time in the morning to do these things - he arrives within 30 minutes of me.

I’d love to have something inflate and pop out of a drawer when he opens it, but that’s getting into *waaaay *to pricey territory. And he won’t use my chair, so there’s no sense in messing with that, either.

I don’t want to be mean - I just want to mess with him a bit. He really is a good kid.

I’d suggest an Annoy-a-tron but those appear to be impossible to find anymore. My theory is that enough victims got together to buy airline tickets to wherever the things were manufactured, and flew there and blew up the factory :D.

[Nava]

@Johnny_L.A

I’m wondering if I should start looking for alternative employment now, or wait to see how things pan out. I think I’d rather work the floor at Costco or Trader Joe’s, or find a data job in town (only 25 miles away). I’m getting tired.

The sooner you start looking, the sooner you can find.

[Nava]

@Johnny_L.A

I’m wondering if I should start looking for alternative employment now, or wait to see how things pan out. I think I’d rather work the floor at Costco or Trader Joe’s, or find a data job in town (only 25 miles away). I’m getting tired.

The sooner you start looking, the sooner you can find.

[Beckdawrek]

Well, once again I’m awake at 3:am. This is really screwing with me this time. Just sent all my company packing Sunday. We had a good visit. But I’m worn out. Can’t sleep. I tried resting for awhile in the aftermoon but my head was spinning. I’ve got lots to do and can’t get motivation to actually do it.
Ah, well. Such is my life.

[swampbear]

Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffeinatin’. YAWN ‘Tis 32 Amurrkin out and clear with a predicted high of 55 and mostly N.O.S. for the day. Today I shall accomplish laundry and go out in public to deal with some necessary errands. ICK! Sup shall be pepper steak ‘n rice cause I have a gnawin’ and a cravin’ for pepper steak.

Flyboy I’ll put my .02 worth in and say start lookin’ for another gig. Could be the best thing all around. At the least you can see what options are out there.

Now I need more caffeine and to feed rumbly tummy. Then, alas, alack, bother of bothers, I must purtify and don appropriate bein’ about the public attire. Figure I’ll get that out of the way this mornin’. Woe!

Happy Tuesday Y’all!

[nightshadea]

yeah johnny id say find something else and walk away … when the jackass will learn why yes you were neede after something screws up …

[kayT]

@Beckdawrek

Well, once again I’m awake at 3:am. This is really screwing with me this time. Just sent all my company packing Sunday. We had a good visit. But I’m worn out. Can’t sleep. I tried resting for awhile in the aftermoon but my head was spinning. I’ve got lots to do and can’t get motivation to actually do it.
Ah, well. Such is my life.

Yes, me too. I woke up at quarter to 4 from a dream that I was being fired. Since I have been retired for over 10 years, that shouldn’t seem so real! I could MAYBE have gone back to sleep if the two cat-overlords hadn’t been so insistent that they were starving. Hope you and I can both get a nap this afternoon, Beck.