She is only three feet from me so, be nice.
Hide the goat
It took a year of lurking for her to join and a Pogo membership from me before she agreed to try it. So can we put on the party hats for a special guest?
I present babygirl.
SSG Schwartz
Welcome aboard! Beware of the snark, it stains 
– IG
Um, is she on your staff, sergeant?
(Never mind. I did not say that. No, I didn’t. Shut up.)
Welcome, babygirl, whatever your position!
Thank you for the welcoming to the dopers.
mrs. Sgt. Swartz 
phouka, there is always room on the staff for one more.
SSG Schwartz
Tell us a little about yourself, and welcome!
Also, bring pie.
But, can you carry a dozen donuts and a cup of coffee?
You askin’ me? Because I can carry a dozen doughnuts and two cups of coffee. Don’t ask about the hairs on the last three though.
SSG Schwartz
I am 5’4, Blonde highlights, a full time college student, a lot of my free time (if I have any) I play games on the computer, and happily married to Ssg Schwartz for the past 9 years
Welcome to the boards! smooch Have a cocktail, here’s a party hat, mind the stray tentacles and just step over here on this big red ‘X’…
Hi and welcome to the weirdness!
Did someone prep Room 303? I think the goat left a mess in there last time.
Welcome Help yourself to a beverage of choice and relax. It’ll be over soon…
My idiot brain served this up as “mind the stray testicles”.
Now I must go and bang my head against the wall like Dobby the House Elf…
Ok, so Sgt Schwarz is on babygirl’s staff… right?
Glad to have you here We’re your friendly internet resource for flirting, giant squids, answers, philosophical discussion and the occasional human BBQ.
Hey, she gets to see her hubby getting pitted! What a rare treat. (Well, rare for some.)
Hello babygirl. Be welcome. Enjoy your stay!
Sounds like an excellent new member. Where do we send the recruiting bonus, SSG?
I accept PayPal, FirePay, and cash. The bonus will be sent to my e-mail address or placed under the mat at my front door. If cash is used, unmarked 10’s and 20’s.
FTR, babygirl, is on my staff, not the other way. 
SSG Schwartz
Welcome, babygirl.
Is she on your schwartz? 
So tell us, wher’d yalls meet?
(In my seldom used southern drawl)