Ok… My boyfriend and I have been best friends since daycare…I moved away moved back and we got together in a more romantic relationship. My brother moved in with me… now everytime my boyfriend comes over to see my my brother has to get right in the middle of EVERYTHING (my bro is 8 years older than me btw) He has to have my boyfriend’s full attention…all I’m good for at that point is to sit on the couch and be some object for my boyfriend to rest his arm or his head on. Even when we leave the room to get away my brother tries to follow…not only that but he’s trying to cause problems in our relationship telling my boyfriend lies about things I did while I had moved away he doesn’t believe him of course and brings it all to me as soon as it’s said (thank goodness) but the idea that my brother for some reason has to ruin the one wonderful thing about my life…I can’t understand it and I don’t have a clue what to do. I feel sorry for my boyfriend…he’s kinda caught in the middle. My brother and I don’t get along at all… my brother might as well be the spawn of satan for all I know (he is only my half brother) but I hate that my bf is caught in the middle… he and my brother are friends…rather my brother is using my bf for rides and money and my bf is too soft hearted to see it. anyway he thinks of my brother as a friend but when we’re all around each other if I do try to talk or be more than a freaking knot on the couch my brother treats me like I’m the biggest idiot in the world and has to start a fight that gets my nerves so worked up I’m running for my xanex I would like to say if someone talked to my boyfriend like that I’d stand up for him and have nothing else to do with the person but my boyfriend being caught in the middle doesn’t know what to do and I hate that I get upset with him for not standing up for me cause I understand how he feels but at the same time I wonder if he understands how I feel. I love him we were first kiss first crush first love he was my first boyfriend in grade school. I refuse to lose him again but this whole things is starting to wear me down…what do you suggest I do???
You are quite lucky to have a BF that is so understanding about this. Talk to your brother about what has been happening. Ask him for answers as to why he is doing what he is doing. Perhaps he has a problem with BF that he hasn’t been letting you know about. At the very least, you will be letting him know you are unhappy with his behavior. If he doesn’t get the picture, or if he refuses to cooperate, I’d say it’s time to kick out your brother.
I think I like that last suggestion lol He and I no longer even talk because of the things he’s done and if I try to discuss it with him he starts either a yelling match or threatens a fist match…and I’ve been through those with him it’s no fun. And yes my bf is very understanding I just hate to see him caught in the middle…I wish there was some way for him not to be but he is friends with my brother and that causes problems when we have trouble with my bro. My bf is SUCH a softhearted guy… he doesn’t know how to react to alot of the stuff and he hates fights…which is great cause we don’t have any 
lol but I’m afraid if my bro continues it’s going to get both of us so frustrated without us even realizing it we’ll take it out on each other. I’d hate to see that happen. I’m living a fairy tale with him it seems… back together after all these years and planning to marry when we can afford it…my brother is jealous because he’s screwed his life up so much he tries to ruin anything in anyone else’s life around him that makes them happy. You’re right…he’ll probably be out on his own in a week… I’ve had to kick him out before and I will be happy to do it again.
and I’ve already been asked “is your brother gay” no he is not…not to my knowledge
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<snip>if I try to discuss it with him he starts either a yelling match or threatens a fist match…and I’ve been through those with him it’s no fun. <snip>
If you can kick your brother out without danger to yourself or others, do so today. Don’t wait until next week. The less contact you have with him the better, IMO.
Good Luck
Kick the bum out.
If you can’t stand him, if he’s trampling all over your life in a totally inconsiderate fashion, if he’s making you miserable and stressed-out–why are you letting him live with you in the first place? Get your backbone out of storage, find your sense of dignity and self-worth, and stop letting him violate your boundaries.
Believe me, I say this with all the compassion in the world. I am letting my sister move in with me next week. She has, in the past, violated my boundaries very flagrantly. I know there will be problems. However, I have let her know from the start what I expect from her, behavior-wise, and that if she can’t toe the line, well, it’s my name on the lease and I’ll be giving her the boot.
Good luck and best wishes.
O.K. im the guy caught in the middle of this stuff…the way i see it is that while my g/f and her brother do not get along i still try to stay neutral in the whole situation…i don’t want to choose sides simply because he is a friend and i love her to much to lose her again…i kinda feel sorry for him because he has screwed up his life a lot and still hasn’t learned from it…i try to be the peace maker in every situation…i hate fights…emotional or physical…i will fight physically if there is no other way around it…but what is the point…fighting does not solve anything…i just want my g/f and her brother to bury the hatchet without leaving the handle sticking up…and i hope that one day they can finally realize that even though they have had their problems maybe one day they can finally realize they can express the love they both hide…i always try to see the good in ppl no matter what the case may be…and the way i see it is that me and him have known each other for a while because he used to date my sister. he hasn’t given me any reason as of yet to make me believe that he is using me…and what my g/f said about him using me did not make me mad in any way…the way i look at it…i am only tryin to help him out because i do consider him a friend and i can kinda relate to what he is goin through…and i can relate to what my baby is goin through…maybe it will all work out in the end…but no matter what…my love for her will never change and me considering him a friend will not change until i feel like he is violating me…