1st pitpost or how to diable a 15 y.o.

The BBQ Pit
1

My Personal life Has been shot to hell and back, for nothing to do with any of my actions. If it was I could understand and not be too bitter about it. but as it stands my lovely girlfriends 15 year old Brother has managed to FUCK the lot up.

Backstory: Gf and I planning on moving in together, flat (apartment) hunting, finding a place and decided that thats what we want. peaceful and joyful, everything going in the right direction.

The Brother: where do I fucking start!! been to court on assault, petty theft, handling stolen goods… and the english court system has let him go, just an order to attend a youth offending meeting every week. He’s not afraid of the cops and laughs at them, has no respect for his mother and siblings, breaks the police curfew imposed on him. a right pain in the ass but at the time a tolerable one. has no willingness to appologise and reform his actions, period, paragraph, end of statement.

The Problem
her borther steals a car and writes it and another car off. he gets cought by the owner. the owner then tells him that he has to cough up two and a half grand in a couple of weeks because his car was uninsured and a wreck. if he fails to do this : broken legs and retribution on the house, brick through the window etc. my Gf being the one who would like to solve all the problems wants to move back into her mom’s house to help, and maintain peace, this could be a year or 10 depending on what happens.

The Crux
by her moving back to her mothers, I no longer have overnight rights, by her mothers decree… we have been living at each other place now for 2 months and I have grown quite accustomed to waking up next to her and she to me. now a big fucking backwards step in the relationship and I cant push the issue because of the delicate nature of the ASSwipe (brother) situation.

I’ve now had to let the owners know that we won’t be moving in, My landlord that I 'm not moving out, send back the surprise furniture I had purchased as a new house prezzie for us. grief, fuckloads of heartache, Some money in my case. I still love her and will stand by her. but between the asswipe and mothers decree, I’m pissed off, ready to cuff him myself and drag his ass down to the station book him and slam the damn cell closed and lose the key on the way out the door.

aside:
to top it all of my father, last week, has just been diagnosed with inoperable cancer with a 25% of survival. more Stress
FUCKING GREAT :mad:

sorry if this doesn’t fit the pit criteria, it s a first post here

2

Wow - that’s a real bitch of a situation.
Keep your head up though, you’ll make it through this.
I know it sound trite but you really will get through it.

Best of luck!

3

Very sorry to hear about your father. That is truly terrible and you have my sincere sympathies.

If I were in your shoes, I would be way more worried about my father’s illness and trying to use my energy to aid him in getting through it, one way or another.

I do understand why you would be upset with the situation with the GF, but from what you’ve posted so far, it seems secondary than your father’s illness.

Although why her brother is your GF’s problem is beyond me, each to his own I guess.

Best of luck to you & your family in the tough days ahead.

4

thanks **Ziod **

This is more of a bitch about life, the universe and everything, but I do have some great friends here and ‘In Real Life’ that are trying to support me on this but all I want to do is scream and a shout and use foul language. I know I’ll make it through I just hope that ‘we’ make it through. if you know what i mean.

5

That’s really tough about your dad. Let’s hope he beats those odds! I think everyone is right, you should focus on him right now; and maybe the time you spend doing that will help GF realize that she can’t “fix” Little Brother. Or he ends up doing some serious slammer time, which might also solve your problem.

Best wishes for your dad’s health!

6

No, no, no! That was just #&@$&@!!& spiffy!!!

Best wishes. GF needs to be careful or she’ll find she’s taken on the role of caring for little brother for life. Condolences for the bad news of your dad.

7

** Triss, butrscotch
**
my father lives on the other side of the planet and I can’t do much for him right now except be on the other end of the phone. hell I wish I could do more but he doesn’t want me to come home just yet, he still got the fighting hat on, and when he’s ready for me to come back he’ll let me know.

**This Year’s Model **
we’re trying to avoid it, he looking like he will be locked up but the problem is with the gent who he owes money to. house retribution is a sick biz over here in england. can’t get him get the family.

I also think that I’m absorbing myself in this problem to forget about the other. I hate to sound selfish but I’m taking care of the shit that has landed on my doorstep before sorting out the crap that is further out.

the other factor is we have a nice little holiday comming up where I was going to ask her to marry me but combined with all this I don’t think it would be the smart option, stress even good stress would prolly cause a breakdown on bothsides.

8

Sorry to hear about your shitty situation. If I can give you any advice, life has a strange way of ebbing and flowing. Hang in there, it’ll be worth it.

Good luck, my thoughts are with you.

9

Am I reading this correctly? This car theft and writing-off was not reported to the police*, but the car owner somehow identified your gf’s brother, and is threatening to damage him and “his” house (presumably your gf’s mum’s house) if he doesn’t cough up money that he can’t possibly come by legitimately?

If that’s right, and you believe the threats to be serious, then that is a most pressing problem that needs urgently addressing.

You have my sympathies for all this shit.

*not sure what difference this makes anyhow.

10

Yep he saw him, then lied to the police that he didn’t know who it was and didn’t see a thing. This guy has a few strikes against him.
a) lying in a police report
b) no insurance on a motor vehicle on the road
c) Threat of Violence; (U.S. version disturbing the peace)

and yes the legitimate part comes into this as his sole and only means of support are his mother and theft. Mother doesn’t have the money, nor does his estranged father want to pay ( who has the means) and no one else can bail him out. So the man has basically forced him to thief to make big money fast.

Who knows how far down the rabbit hole goes?

11

<raises hand>

12

Fuck! I don’t know what to say – that is some serious shit.

Have you (or your gf) spoken to fuckface brother about what he intends to do?

You should give serious consideration to whether or not the police should become involved (say, by an anonymous tip that fingers ff-brother – though, I don’t pretend that is easy). I’m thinking that the threatener may be disinclined to pursue his threats if it would look obvious that he was the cause of any damage.

13

if it weren’t for the idea that it would put your g/f’s mother out (bricks through the window, etc.), I’d say let the little fuckface get what’s coming to him, broken legs and all.
That might prove to be a strong deterrent. At the very least, he won’t be able to get out to commit more crimes.
Can’t you or your g/f call the police and let them know what’s going on and have them sort it out?

Best wishes that it turns out okay, that the punk gets his, you get yours (a happy, strong relationship, and that she says “yes” when you propose) and your father makes it through.

14

How is putting herself in the line of fire going to “help”? I’m gonna feel really bad if you post again in “a couple of weeks” to tell us that this guy set fire to the house and your GF was trapped inside.

15

Tell your girlfriend the story about the drowning man, and how his friend swam out to save him, but he wouldn’t take his friend’s help, and eventually it became a situation where the friend had to swim back to shore so he wouldn’t go down with his friend. At some point, your girlfriend is going to have to let her brother swim back into shore on his own, or she’s going down with him. She probably isn’t ready to let go yet, but plant the seed, and she will (hopefully) come around soon. Sometimes, even, the people helping the drowning party are actually hurting him by not forcing him to swim on his own. Just food for thought.

16

Ok, everyone an update…

the Brother From Hell has been exorcised. over the weekend the little bastard decided to get in the middle of a gang war, not to participate but to spectate, because his actions started the damn thing.

so I now had the bigger problem of a guy who wants to break his legs, replaced by a gang that wants him shut up from being a witness and they really didn’t care if it was davey jones locker or or the local people planter patch.

now dumbass boyfriend (Me) comes in to play. finally tiring of his shit, decides that he gets to be hidden away from the people that want him dead. mind you the mother asked for the help after I offered it… I spirit him away to an undisclosed location, take away his phone and tell him not to leave, not to call, basically disappear for a while. a day after I tell him this he’s walking out of the house showing hs face around town, and getting a new phone. I take the second phone off of him, find a minder and start to organise a second safe house.

move him a second time, can’t beat him, can’t restrain him (family ya’ know) and stick a new minder on him. as he forgot a few things in the last house, I had to go back and get them, only to find that the house had been ransacked in our absence.

and just yesterday I got him off to a new country and a new start, I just hope the asshole can follow directions for a couple of weeks. don’t want to bury him after all of this.

in the end I have been given the mothers trust. to at least be able to stay overnight not move in but occasionally to stay over.

now on to worry about my father… update there, cancer has spread, now they think they can’t cure it but only slow it down or shrink it.

hell I think I can write a novel and make some money on this story, or at least write for a soap opera.

17

Hattick

I’m so sorry about your father.

Your gf’s brother is going to get you all killed and obviously he doesnt’ give a shit. What a waste of air. I think you, your gf and your gf’s mother are the ones who should be in a safe place, not him. Such undesirables usually won’t think twice about going after their target’s family if they can’t locate their target. Little do they know he wouldn’t give a flying fuck. Most people aren’t complete garbage like him and actually give two shits about their family and their family’s safety.

Move yourself and your gf (and her mother). If the piece of shit brother is so intent on throwing his life away, let him. You can’t help someone like that unless they want help. And when you and yours lives are being threatened, it’s time for “every man for himself”. That may sound harsh but there’s really so much you can do, you know?

:mad: