Help! Teenager + Valentine's Day = Trouble

Pardon me while I babble for a bit…

I just broke up with my girlfriend two days ago. It was my first relationship, and there were several serious problems, such as: a)She felt much more for me than I did for her and b)I was interested in a different girl. So, Valentine’s day is coming up and I’m in a bit of a bind. I don’t want to hurt my ex-girlfriend’s feelings, so I was going to try to hang out with her on Valentine’s day. On the other hand, I really want to send some flowers to the new girl that I’m interested in. Can I do both without being an ass?

Now here’s the second part of my question: let’s say that I do end up sending some flowers. What’s the best way to do it? Is there a nice online place that will deliver flowers to her door at a reasonable price ( has prices in the vicinity of $60 and that seems a little steep). Ok, yes, I’m a teenager. I don’t know any of these things, that’s why I’m asking for help :slight_smile:

Well, how would you feel if someone took you out on Valentine’s day out of pity, all the while thinking about the next good thing?

Clean breaks heal faster. Don’t treat your ex like a child.

As for the flowers, I’m sure someone online would be glad to take your money.

I totally agree, but she’s not taking it very well. I just want to show her that I’m not ditching her, and that I’m still willing to be her friend if she’s interested.

Friendship is great, if it works out that way–but not on Valentine’s Day. Too much cultural baggage.
Oh and about the flowers–$60 is pretty standard for a full-service floral delivery. I’d check around your area the old-fashioned way. You might get a better deal. (BTW–does this new girl know you at all? I would have probably enjoyed getting flowers in high school, but only from someone I’d already had friendly exchanges with. Otherwise, it might seem a little pushy. You’d be a better judge of her personality, though.)

[Glad to be an old married gal. All we have to do is decide which kind of champagne to buy.]

Ok. As a fellow teen i totally understand what your going through. It seems really nice that your going w/ your ex on V-day. What I think you should do is go out for a while with your ex, and maybe see a few friends. Just always make sure that you don’t act like your doing it out of pity, even if your not.
As for you new girl, The cheapest thing to do would probably be to go to wal-mart, especially if you have a super wal-mart, because they have really nice, cheap flowers. You don’t have to get anything extravagant (it’s not like you two are going out, so you don’t want to seem pushy) but a rose and some baby’s breath is always cute (make sure its a red rose). Another thing is if you know her favorite flower. I know that roses are really really cheep, like a buck a piece. Stick a note in it, stop by her house really early and lay it on her front porch. Personally, If a guy did that for me I’d be one very happy person. Best of luck
P.S. online is always more expensive, I’d try your local flower shops if you want a professional delievery.

Yeah, this is sort of an ongoing thing. It’s not coming out of the blue, I just want to let her know that I’m still interested.

But you are ditching her, aren’t you?

I’d talk to someone that knows your ex before you decide to do anything with her on Valentine’s Day. Coming from a breakup that has left me bawling for the past 5 months or so, and being a teenager, I just felt like I had to give you some friendly advice. Ask how she’s been and what her feelings towards you are now. I still love my ex with all my heart, when he left me he took a piece of me with him that I’m never going to get back. However, I’m not sure how I would react if we spent any time alone together. Precisely because I love him, I can’t trust myself to stay composed around him, and unless you’re prepared for emotional outbursts on her part, possible tears and/or angry tirades then I’d ask how she’s taking it before trying anything. I reiterate what someone else said, don’t act like it’s just out of pity, I know that it would hurt me more if I knew that my ex was talking to me because he pitied me than if he didn’t talk to me at all. I don’t know, do as you like but that’s my POV. Good luck and although she doesn’t know me tell her that someone else knows what she’s going through and sends their love.


Ok, I’ll admit I wasn’t too good at this shit in high school either, but why would you take out your ex on Valentine’s Day?

If she isn’t taking the break-up well, I don’t see how a non-date on the biggest date day of the year is going to help.

Besides, you are a teenager, you are supposed to go through a new one each week. As soon as you start dating this new girl, you’ll see another one in a month.

You mean that your school doesn’t do the carnation thing? At my high school, you could pay a buck or two and have a carnation (all the colors had different meanings, too) delivered to your sweetie with a tag with your message on it. It was a fundraiser for some group.

Grocery store floral departments have cheap flowers. You’ll have to take care of delivery yourself, though. Unless things have significantly changed since I was in high school, I would advise you to steer clear of red roses this early in your relationship. They’ll be in high demand and probably more expensive, and IMO, they seem a bit forward. I got red roses (two…the other two were eaten by his cat :eek: ) one Valentine’s Day when I was in high school. It was early in the relationship, and I remember being a bit uncomfortable with it. Of course, the relationship was doomed anyway. I was probably more uncomfortable with him than the flowers.

Chocolate might be better. Less expensive, easier to leave on a desktop or doorstep, and it will last through the school day unless she eats it. And, who knows, she might share with you :).

If you don’t want to get back together with your ex, do not hang out together on Valentine’s Day. The day has major “cultural baggage”, as cher3 said. She will think that you want to get back together. It will seem like you are stringing her along. Leave her alone, and she will survive without you. Trust me.

Outrider: You will hurt your ex if you take her out on Valentine’s Day. Absolutely do NOT do it.

No matter what you say or what she says, she will interpret you taking her out as a sign that there’s a chance you’ll get back together. Trust me, I have been in yout boat before; it doesn’t matter what she says or how clear you think it is that you’re just being a friend. It’s hope to her that the romance isn’t over. You’d be unwittingly stringing her along.

You will not be able to be friends with her until you’ve broken up for real, and that’s not gonna happen if she’s given false hope.

As to flowers - man, $60 sounds pricey, assuming it’s U.S. dollars. I bought a dozen roses for Mrs. RickJay and it cost me $55 CANADIAN, which is what, fifty cents US? (Okay, it’s about $37.) If you wanna send flowers, just call a local flower shop; it’s just as easy as online buying, doubtlessly more reliable, and possibly cheaper.