Okay, so I have been dating this girl for about five years now. We have a pretty good relationship, I would say, and I love her a lot.
We have hit rough patches and have been under a lot of stress lately. I just bought a house, I’m under employed and I can’t help out as much as I want to getting the house set up and cleaning and cooking because I work 40+ hours a week to pay bills. She winds up doing all of the cooking, cleaning, housework as well as trying to go to school full time to get a degree and she’s trying to start up her own small company. We are both in our mid 20’s.
She is my first long-term girlfriend and I have only really had one other girlfriend before her so I’m not as much of an experienced boyfriend as I want to be.
She always mentions I don’t act “boyfriend like” and I always promise to try harder. In reality, I just don’t know what to do. She mentions flowers, cards, surprises, etc but I am very bad at finding the right thing to do and I just wind up getting depressed. When I get home from work, she’s usually sleeping and if she stays up for me to get home, I usually can’t go to sleep with her anyway because I’m wide awake (work late night shifts).
I sometimes get her a gift for her birthday, we usually go out somewhere expensive for Christmas, and I took her to dinner on our Anniversary. I don’t do the card thing much because I don’t know what to write in the card. I have trouble getting her gifts because in order for me to get something, I have to see something that pops out and reminds me of her.
Sex has slowed down A LOT due to the stress she is under (she says she’s not in the mood a lot and always tired) and I also think due to the fact that I have trouble acting “lovey” and come off as just wanting sex/sexual favors. I don’t know how to do romantic things and I think it’s hindering our relationship. I don’t have much money to work with either, which also is not helping at all.
Also, she has trouble relaxing and just swimming in the pool or watching movies because there is always so much to do. On my days off, she seems like she’s always running around like a chicken without a head trying to get things done.
Can anyone give me some pointers on what they do for their girlfriend to act romantic or “boyfriend like”? I want to try a little harder and surprise her every now and then! I feel that our relationship has kind of hit a dry spell and I want to be the one to try and turn things around.
**Lots of advice would be great! I’m desperate!
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