Is it true that sitting on cold concrete causes hemorrhoids?

No. A hemorrhoid is a dilated vein(s) causing swelling & itching (sometimes pain). I’d think that sitting on anything cold might help.

Well, you’d think so, but it doesn’t work out that way. Cold will definitely aggravate hemorrhoids.

Geez, get rid of 'em. Fairly simple procedure – and if you are really suffering, it could change your life.

I’d had 'em since I was 14, and they got worse with every pregnancy.

Get them removed while they’re still small, if you can.

Try telling that to my wife who lay in the hospital for three days after her hemmroidectomy with a butt plug up her arse and a morphine drip.

“Ward, You’re upsetting the beaver.”
Barbara Billingsley


I went through one of those…talk about learning to love prunes…

But I read they don’t cut them anymore…They tie them off and let them die…


Gottum, don’t likeum

How high is up?

I think they can be tied off if they’re small, and on the outside. Not sure about tying off internal hemorrhoids.

Aha - sorry your wife’s experience was so bad. But I wouldn’t want anyone to be scared off – if you asked her (go ahead, ask her), bet she’d say it was worth it.

Mine were external and internal and (shyness begone!) quite large. I was out of the hospital the next day and back to work after a weekend of taking it easy.

The Percodan was the best part.

Quote:Is it true that sitting on cold concrete causes hemorrhoids?

No, but I think grandparents used to say that to keep their kids of the stone walls at the town centers.

Now, I suppose mothers tell their kiddies that walking on concrete mall floors give you piles.

A friend who was standing tall for about two weeks says they tie off inside and outside -
and he never said it was fun. Just got tired of carrying a change of clothes.

Oh, I’m gonna keep using these #%@&* codes 'til I get 'em right.

The tie off procedure is simple, painless and easy. I had it done and it was a piece of cake. It’s not for everybody though. Sometimes surgery is required and that is no joke (my brother had it done and he was miserable for weeks). There just ain’t no simple, easy way to get a scapel stuck up yer…nether regions.

Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis

Quote: just ain’t no simple, easy way to get a scapel stuck up yer…nether regions.

Do they really do that or do they use a loop and snug it around the thing they want to remove??? You know those western neckties with the big chunks of turquoise on the slide? Just use the western necktie and the slide?

Oh, I’m gonna keep using these #%@&* codes 'til I get 'em right.

The loop thing is done with elastic bands which are wrapped around the offending area which then dies from lack of blood flow and drops of. That’s what I had. Hardest part of the project was keeping a straight face when the proctologist introduced himself as Dr. Spear.

Surgery involves going in there and hacking and chopping and chainsawing and sewing it all up. Very painful. My doctor says I’m gonna need that next time around.

BTW, friend of mine had the elastic band thing done a couple of months ago. No problem 'till one of 'em popped off in the middle of the night and opened up. He nearly bled to death in his sleep. (He tried to get up and passed out and the “clunk” of him hitting the floor woke his wife up). He lost enough blood that he suffered an injury to his heart and spent a week in the cardiac unit.

In any event, hemorhoids are, to coin a phrase, a real pain in the ass.

Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis

As a long-time sufferer myself, I offer a couple of words based on personal experience.

  1. They can be caused by sitting, whether on a cold or warm surface. They are endemic among truck drivers, and are becoming more and more prevalent with chair-bound office workers. Our sedentary lifestyle contributes to the problem.
  2. They normally tend to go away on their own with minimal care and treatment. Hot sitz baths will help. Keep the anal area clean, but try to avoid unnecessarily hard wiping after defecation. Prep H does work, but my personal preference is Noxzema.
  3. Practice avoidance. Do muscle “sets” (constricting the anal muscles) while sitting at your desk, watching TV, whatever. Get more exercise. Eat a balanced diet, with lots of fibre, or take a fibre supplement. Try to avoid straining to pass your stool; this aggravates or causes hemorrhoids.

Seek medical advice, but don’t jump at the first offer of surgical intervention. If home cures like those discussed above haven’t cleared up the problem within 2 weeks, then further steps may be needed. Me, I’d rather suffer for a short while and let the problem subsist naturally than have a surgeon let loose on my anterior regions.

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 15 tons.
-Popular Mechanics, 1949