Dude made me uncomfortable when he complained about his Bro breaking a furnance that he’s been keeping alive for two years (what nerve!) and then has the audacity to not have any money (what a loser!) Notice there’s not an ounce of gratitude expressed in that OP…just complaints about his siblings not helping him.
I thought maybe there was a background story of sadness (long-term unemployment, disability, family drama, etc.) that I just wasn’t privy to.
This is all I’m saying here on the subject: I wanted to keep my options open until I heard from Sis. I’ve now heard from her. She is completely aware of the situation and will do what she can but it will take a few weeks. Between her, a few kind Dopers, and my savings, the situation is well in hand. Any monies from Dopers that go unused will be returned, any other monies from Dopers can be repaid toward the end of next month.
I think asking people for money when you have so many other options is a bit more than keeping all of your options open. Nice attempt to justify it, though.
I would hope that most people would turn to begging as a LAST resort. You seem to think it’s one of the first things to do. Different strokes, apparently.
Aka “I’m still going to take money that I don’t actually need, because I don’t want to have to use my own finances to take care of a non-emergency problem”
Do you not understand that mooching off strangers is the last resort? Not a “keep my options open” kind of thing? Who are these people giving you money because you are uncomfortable?It would never occur to me to beg.
I would love to know who authorized the begging. I hope it sounded better at the time than “I’m uncomfortable so its an emergency. And I have other options but don’t want to use them.”
I just went and read the rest of that original thread. Now I’m mad. He said it was cheaper to have internet and cable together than just internet. When someone questioned that, he said “it happens.” He must think we are idiots.
His employer pays for half of his internet cost. So how on EARTH can it be cheaper to have cable and internet than just internet alone, when 50% of the internet cost is eaten by his bosses?
As I said in the other thread, you can finance it! Heating and cooling systems. 18 months, no interest. You shouldn’t take a single dollar from other dopers. You shouldn’t even take the 2 tenths of a penny that the OP is offering.
Good. That means we don’t have to hear really stupid excuses from you.
Why would you beg for money from us before waiting to hear back from your sister? Is the heat in your condo that bad that you couldn’t have just waited a few hours before passing the hat around here? I’d like to think that you would have come forward about your sister’s assistance whether or not you had caught any flak, but I’m not sure. There’s nothing about refunding donations in the OP. And I’m not even sure why anyone should trust that they will be one of the lucky ones who receive a refund.
I wouldn’t have donated to you anyway, so maybe I have no right to comment. But you’ve put people in an awkward position. By not disclosing certain information (and then later revealing it like it’s no big deal), you’re putting generous people in a situation where they will feel compelled to give to someone only because they gave their word and don’t want to spaz on a promise. Those people should maybe grow a pair, but generous people often think more with their hearts than with their “pairs”. This is the kind of shit that makes giving to others hard to do.
I have to pay a whole whack of money to pay for my cat’s teeth fixin’ - who wants to send me money? We can afford it - I just don’t want to pay for it.
I’m sorry to be the dissenting voice here, but I don’t think it’s that big a deal. Many of us know first hand how it feels to unexpectantly feel the crush of (what to your mind is) a serious financial emergency, I know I have. You rack your brain and consider many things you never thought you’d ever be considering. You just want the crisis to be over and almost every option is on the table.
I came this —> <— close to selling my grandfather’s railroad watch that is the only thing I have to remember him by. Luckily other options came through and I got through it. If my financial situation was more stable, I would have probably sent Lute a check, not because it was a life or death situation, but just because it would be a nice thing to do for someone whose posts I’ve read for years. If I got paid back, great… if not, oh well. I’ve done the same in the past and have never come to regret it. Sometimes I get paid back, sometimes not. I never send any more than I can afford to lose.
I do understand that many people got upset by it, I’m just not one of them. I would never have posted the request for money myself as I’m not one of the board regulars but Lute is. I’m glad he got what he needed and that his crisis has been averted. Just because his situation didn’t seem a crisis to you doesn’t mean that it didn’t seem that way to him.
The thing is that board solicitations are a rarity, and when we see them we usually assume that it’s an actual crisis. Not a “oh crap, I’m gonna have to invest in some box fans this summer!” kind of crisis. But a “I’m gonna have to sleep on a park bench with my five-year-old child who’s dying of a terminal illness…which I have too” kind of crisis.
If people start begging for charity for their about first world problems, their wails will drown out those who are really in need.
The difference is, Lute already had options on the table; he was just adding begging on the SDMB to his options. That’s what is upsetting a lot of people.