…the better the ethics, the nicer the coif.
*Dawn breaks over the Petrelli dig-up-the-massacre work party. Peter shovels up a ball glove from under a ribcage, and finds this to be icky. You know how in a family there’s just some thing no one talks about, except for that one obnoxious kid who can’t ever shut the hell up about it? Are you shocked to find out that’s Peter’s job in the Petrelli house? *
Peter: This is just weird. Why are we digging up a mass grave?
Nathan: I’m sure mom has her reasons, just be a good son and unearth the corpses.
Peter: I’m still pissed about you kidnapping me. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about that tazering. By the way, you didn’t have a tazer on you when you knocked me out and threw me on that plane- who helped you?
Noah: * starts whistling nonchalantly, digs faster, realizes whistling probably makes him look all the more guilty, says ‘screw it’, goes for a leak or something *
Angela: I just want you all to *understand- wavy lines back to the black and white days of:
A freaky MASH –like encampment, except instead of war wounded, it’s full of kids and families. The fun doctor isn’t Hawkeye, though, it’s Chandra Suresh, who welcomes Angela and clan to Camp Coyote and sticks Angela and little sister Alice in their own cabin. Seeing as this is the early 60’s and apparently perverts haven’t been invented yet, their parents agree to have their daughters taken away by the nice government men. *
Chandra: Pay no attention to the soldiers with the guns, they’re your friends!
Alice: Is this place a leftover from the Japanese internments? It’s creepy here
Chandra: Don’t be silly, the US government would never imprison its citizens without warrant. We’re here to help you
Alice: Is this a udon noodle wrapper?
Now-Angela: ‘My sister and parents died here’
Peter: Well, if you want to introduce us, you’re about 50 years too late
Maybe not- someone who still has flesh on their hands peeks through one of the windows
Claire, back at Pit #2: Eww, this one’s got a teddy bear!
Noah, finding more personal effects- I’m in your will now, right Angela?
Peter, clearly in charge of the family brain:”Why do you have to be such a drama queen? Couldn’t you just tell us all this at thanksgiving dinner, when horrible family secrets are suppose to be revealed?
Angela: “I wanted to show you that when I said there were skeletons in my past, I wasn’t just working a metaphor. And I dreamt my sister was alive, which is obviously not possible-“
Peter: “Did you see her die?”
Angela: “No, why do you ask?”
Peter: “No reason”
Angela: “I think she wants me to give her a proper burial. I dream in literary allusions. And be glad I do, Peter; otherwise we’d be having this conversation with you having a pipe stuck out the back of your skull. So, first thing we need to do is find your aunt, dig her up, and then bury her right back again. But maybe pray or something when we put her back. We have to reunite this family-
Nathan: Mom’s side too, apparently
Angela: -or I’m afraid history will repeat itself.
Claire: Well, we’ve got the government rounding us up, that’s step one. What came next?
Angela: We started the Company here; we destroyed anything that could tell anyone that we existed. We need to go to the old methods- murder, brain wipings, Primatech stuff, you know-to stop what Senator Flyboy over there-
Nathan: Thanks, Ma
Angela- started with the government this time. Noah and I tried to sabotage Danko’s program-
Claire: But you screwed it up?
Noah: Oh yeah.
Angela: …So kids, it’s time for Primatech v. 2.0
*Back in ’61, Angela wakes up from a prophe-mare and goes out for some air. First over with the milk and cookies: Charles Deveaux, Danny Linderman, and geeky Bobby Bishop, fellow 10th grade internees. *
Charles: You’re gorgeous, but I believe we’re just far enough south for me to get shot for saying that. So I’m going to say Bobby said it. You all believe me, right??
Bobby: An-ge-la- gor-geous.
Charles; Good boy, Bobby. Have a cookie.
Charles: Your nightmares come true. What’s going to happen to us?
Angela: Nothing, they won’t hurt us.
Charles: Liar liar pants on fire.
Danny: I can heal that scar of yours………that one on your thigh. Let me touch it? Please?
Angela: Cool, thanks. Tick tick tick; OK, it’s been 20 minutes, how long does it take you to heal it?
Charles: They’re keeping us prisoner, like they did with the Japs
Alice, inside: Told ya they were! I’m cold
Angela: That’s what you get for not bringing socks. When did it get so windy, anyhow?
Alice: There’s something I need to tell you………
Nowish: *While Clarie and Angela yap about-whatever, something girly empowermenty-Noah goes for a stumble in the desert when the Alice-storm kicks up. While he’s getting airborne flotsam smashed into his head, some ghosty figure comes and snatches him away. A ghost? Ghost Alice? An extremely localized funnel cloud?
Nope, it’s Mohinder, come to have a look-see at what his dad was up to long before he was born. Because working on your parent’s biography is always an excellent way to spend your life as a federal fugitive.
The winds kick up so bad Anderson Cooper’s in the background being blown horizontal; Mo drags Noah into a shed and starts slamming him around, demanding answers. He always demands answers; maybe Mo, you should just learn to ask nicely? He may still be pissed about the cab-capture double cross, but he does refrain from Hulking Noah into chunky salsa; Noah catches him up a bit
Back in '61, Angela and the Archie Gang are going over the fence to get everyone rescued and if there’s time, find a nice sock hop to crash. But first: ditch kid sister: *
Angela: If you stay here you’ll be safe , I’ll never leave you and nothing bad will ever happen to you. I’ll even score you some socks!
Chandra: Let’s talk. So how did you know what was on my Peter Venkman cards, anyhow?
Angela: I’m not psychic. I just saw them in a dream, like I saw you kill everyone here- my sister, my parents, everyone.
Alice: What!? Aaaahgghhhhhh!
Chandra: Well, that is certainly worrisome, young lady, and I’ll be sure to complete a full case history and analysis and send it to headquarters immediately so we can make proper arrangements to prevent such a catastrophe.
Angela: Or you could just, y’know, leave. That could work too.
Now-gela: “Alice is alive and she’s making this storm. I have to find her.”* She runs off into the whirlwind, which evaporates, along with Angela.
Seeing as they don’t have anything better to do after the storm, and they aren’t in the mood to go flip the cars right side up, Noah takes Mohinder out to have a poke at the bodies. Our boy doesn’t take dad’s role in the genocide well at all:*
Mo: My dad, Chandra Mengele, was involved with all this. He was using these people as guinea pigs in his research. Y’know, I lost control and experimented on humans too; I was weak, corruptible, selfish–
Noah: And self aware! No, I think that’s new for you
Mo: …and I fell into the same traps he did.
Noah: He turned himself into a bug too? Go figure!
Claire: I’ve been out in the desert with my fathers and family digging up the dead from a secret massacre; I should be freaking out, but I’m not. Atrocities don’t bother me
Noah: What on earth made you just say that?
Claire: Nothing. I’m sure it’ll be important some day though
*Angela wakes up in a psychotic hoarder’s lair with 589 boxes of corn flakes from the 50’s. *
Alice: Lemme tell you what happened that night while you were out having cheeseburgers with Archie, Jughead and Sidney Poitier:
*At Building 26-the early years, Suresh tries to give Alice one of those big scary WW2 needles. Freaked by Angela’s vision of the Suresh-calypse, she loses her shit, starts screaming and launches a tornado in the lab. Dad Shaw, finally, comes over to see what the hell that foreign guy is doing to his kids. Suresh grabs Alice and in a AMA-unapproved manoeuvrer, tries to slap her into calming down. Dad finally remembers that he’s the only one who gets to smack his kids in the mouth, unfurls some hitherto unknown telekinetic ability and becomes the first special to TK a Suresh through a wall. Private Jim Bob, clearly selected for this assignment because of his cool head during extreme events, unloads his weapon on dad, which freaks out the other guards,specials, Alice and the next thing you know, we have one of those civilian massacres that only gets reported on in some British newspaper months after the fact, although it seems the Guardian didn’t send anyone out to interview the survivors of this hurricane clusterfuck… During all this, Angela and the Archie gang are at the soda shoppe having pretend prom, which goes quite well except for one minor racial incident that is soon forgotten-thus revealing what Charles’ ability was. Sorta. *
Now-gela: Oh, you thought I was serious when I said I was coming back for you? Oh, Alice, that’s so cute! Look, I stole some socks for you. Hey, whoa, what’s with the wind?
Peter and Mohinder get blown down the stairs to the rescue:
Mohinder,* holding a big slappy hand to Alice:* Calm down!
Alice: No, bad Dr. Suresh!
Mo: How do you know I’m bad Dr. Suresh? Tornados Mo about 15 feet into the air and onto the cement floor, thus bringing us up to 87% of this volume’s mandated Mohinder abuse. Good thing she didn’t knock him into the canned goods, I guess; while that would have brought his physical trauma rating to seasonal requirement, he’d probably end up with multiple concussion syndrome. And we still need someone around here to bring the science, even if he’s ethically wobbly.
Angela: This is your family, don’t hurt us, we love you.
Alice: points at Mo- this one too? Oh Angela, don’t tell me you married Dr Suresh!
Angela: Oh, no, him you can kick around. Just lay off the ones with the great jawlines, they’re mine. And the blonde kid. Well, it’s not like you could hurt her, but just the same…hey, Alice, where’d you go?
*Alice becomes one with the wind, possibly literally. Angela says she’ll never see her again, but she failed to elaborate about anyone else’s future quality storm time with Auntie Alice. The gang packs up the shovels and breaks camp: *
Peter: Mo, we’re going for fries. You coming?
Mo: I have guilt to wallow in, you go without me.
*Leaving Mo at Area Coyote with a tear in his eye, some film canisters, a nasty case of ennui and one hopes, one of the cars, the Petrellis head off to the Café for some ritual burger feasting. *
Peter: This isn’t a company nom nom chomp it’s a family and we braaaap have to look after each other. And we keep it all secret again. I don’t need the government hunting my ass every generation
Claire: So, *snarf snarf, *what do we do now?
Nathan: I’m going to *nom nom nom *Washington to go talk to snarf the President….
Nathan on TV, with better hair: I’m running for president!
Angela: *curiously shit eating grin. *
Nathan, covered in corpse dust, sweat, mustard, and pants that make his ass look huge and very un-presidential: da hell? That’s not me!
Noah: It’s Sylar. Or maybe………*you are! *
Nathan: Have I at any point tried to mindfuck you today?
Noah: No. Quite right. Oh, shit, Sylar’s running for President!
Angela: *grin is curiouser and curiouser………. *
*Next week: Sylar takes up politics; Mohinder gets tazed for the 14th time this volume, Rebel, Peter and Nathan dive for their lives, and Claire and Sy go on a date. Hey Gabriel, don’t give her that- she’s not old enough to drink! *