Heroes (04/20/09) “I am Sylar” (spoilers)

Having dwelled on the Petrelli’s collective neurosis for a couple of weeks now, the angst-pendulum swings back to our boy Gabriel this week. Who’s probably kicking himself for not offing Nathan before taking over his life. Now he’s got a spare to explain-evil fiends are usually more detail oriented than that.

From the show site: Sylar (Zachary Quinto) continues his unusual partnership and begins to have an unexpected identity crisis. Hiro (Masi Oka) and Ando (James Kyson Lee) take measures toward bringing down Building 26. Meanwhile, Matt’s (Greg Grunberg) new found fatherhood changes his priorities. Elsewhere, Nathan (Adrian Pasdar) sets a plan in motion to right the wrongs of his government operation

I may have to amend and revise my earlier statements re: Hiro and the woodchipper.
That sounds like someone’s being downright useful. And per the previews, and to absolutely no one’s astonishment, Mohinder gets tasered yet again. Damn, by my count that’ll make it four this volume- he’d better go check the lab fridge for Claire-blood reserves, because one more zap and he’s looking at a lifetime of either brain damage or incontinence.

Will Sylar please kill Danko now? If one more person who has more than enough motive to kill Danko lets him live, I’ll believe that is Danko’s special power - escaping karma.

I think Danko’s long term prognosis is poor. I think his short term prognosis is even worse.

As much as I enjoyed bugshit crazy Sylar (moving from 'ok, technically! to ‘Behavioral Science Unit poster child’ serial killer) everything with Micah seemed forced. No way that little dude should have any kind of sympathy for Sylar. It felt like they chucked him in for a spot of ‘Sylar saves the World’ foreshadowing.

I did enjoy the bugshit. But dammit, they did the same thing this week that I was bitching about last time- they showed a previously of Danko telling Sylar he should shapetake Agent Redshirt, when it wasn’t in a previous episode (last week it was Mo’s landlord telling him how Chandra went nuts when he got his Area Coyote files from the gov’t -presumably a FOI request). If it’s important for the audience to know, put it in the episode! Angela’s talk about how they brainwiped the Coyote Sands project out of the survivors, plus Chandra getting proof of something he’d been forced to forget- ya think that would plug the continuity gap? Oh, somewhat.

But really enjoyed the bugshit.

So Sylar’s basically emo Norman Bates now, huh? Only even more immortal than ever before. Things I’ve learned from Heroes: Your DNA codes for the clothing you wear. Take that, nature vs. nurture debate!

And Nathan’s gonna take responsibility, this time for realsies, and it’s his and only his duty, and of course he insta-fucks up. Hiro sets his best friend up to be zapped with a gazillion volts into unconsciousness, but it’s OK 'cause he’s noble like Superman. One supposes that Ando’s ‘Crimson Arc’ alias is really a secret code for ‘story arc best committed to crimson flames’. Can he even amp powers anymore, or is he just standard-issue energy projector no. 217 now? Mohinder, who’s apparently spent at least two days in semi-darkness in run-down buildings somewhere in the desert to squint at 16mm frames (so I guess they didn’t leave him a car) appears for the sole purpose of getting bug-zapped. Angela’s apparently still having trouble sleeping, or else her dreams are just too open for interpretation – ‘I dreamt there was a squad of ninjas pointing guns at us while we wear being held up by construction work. What on earth could that mean?’. Micah’s mom probably was too crazy too often to teach him he shouldn’t go home with creepy strangers (even if they do save you by taking your form and a tazerdart for you). Thankfully, Sylar’s gone from wanting to be special to actually being somewhat special in the riding-the-short-bus-to-school kind of way, so even little kids can push his buttons now.

Can we have a do-over for this episode, please? :frowning:

The knife was too high. It was in the back, not the base of the skull. The clothing thing did bug me, especially since it was not necessary.

Nathan won the “Will Not Learn From His Previous Fuck Ups” for this week. How many times does he have to run off to “set things right” only to screw up even more before he learns?

I have grown to love Sylar’s throw-out lines. :smiley:

Yes, we are treading all over continuity but I can’t help myself, I really liked this episode.

That could be. My theory is that the tooth in the wrong place, and the eye being blue for an hour, and Sylar’s line about not always putting himself back together quite right was leading up to the fact that his vulnerable spot got moved somewhere during all of his shifting.

Ok, your idea probably makes more sense.

They said the sweet spot was in the base of the skull fifty thousand times (give or take). That knife was just below the crown. Danko missing like that would have bothered me, if he had used a throwing knife. He threw a pocket knife, so I guess he’s luck to have hit at all.

Danko’s knife skills are on par with Noah’s aim when shooting Elle-just a couple of inches off. Once I’d gotten him down I’d have filled Sylar’s head like a knife block but I guess there’s a lack of pointy things in a senator’s office.

Like I always say, characters are consistent in how they fuck up. I guess his idea was sound, he’s pretty much the only guy in a position to warn the president about Sylar and the extreme unwiseness of handshaking for the next week. He and Danko were the only ones with access.

Well, Sylar was all over the place. At least they sort of explained how Sylar could take Nathan’s face (apparently he just needs DNA; mom’s blood, Nate’s toothbrush) so I don’t have to continue to be annoyed by that. Now I can be annoyed with the changing of the clothes.

I noticed that and last week’s too, and it’s really pissing me off. It’s bad enough that I’m trying to remember all the shit that’s happened, but to throw in scenes that they never showed before is insulting.

How far are they going to take this? “Previously…on Heroes…time stops at the roadblock as Future Hiro appears to save Noah, Claire, Peter, and Angela! Meanwhile…Claude uncloaks and rescues Nathan!”

I’m with Annie: that whole one-arm-flung-dramatically-across-the-face whilst declaiming that he must suffer through it all alone just seems who he is. My fear is he’s actually looking to atone by dying in some dumb sacrifice in yet another callback to season one only this time I guess it would have to stick.

Still, it IS annoying. Especially in the face of Angela’s characteristically brutal-yet- very accurate summing up of that plan as basically “WHY? You SUCK at this, for Christ’s sake”

Wouldn’t you like to ask Nathan, “What exactly were you planning to do there, fella?”

It was nice to see Sylar getting some therapy for his problem. Unfortunately, Dr. Smeagol’s methods have been discredited for some Ages.

Speaking of which, did anyone else want Andy Serkis to walk in while he was working through his mommy issues and say “You’re doing it wrong”?

*Some guy we’ve never seen before the (not) previouslies 10 seconds ago wakes up in his clothes. He wanders over to the mirror and realizes that he’s not waking up with the face he went to bed with. Turns out our boy Sylar is having nocturnal transformations and we know that young men can get very confused about all the changes their bodies go through as they grow up. He squlorks himself back to normal (but fails to take the opportunity to morph himself a better haircut, dammit), but all is not well in sociopathic killersville. You thought your morning ablutions could get gross? Sy reaches back into his mouth and yanks out a tooth, roots and all. Maybe he’s hoping the rest of his teeth will straighten out now, maybe he’s hidden some microchips or emergency DNA samples in there, who knows?

Later, Sulky ennui Sylar is hanging on a park bench being all pissy and looking like his allegedly late self. Today’s wardrobe features a light grey jacket, instead of that grungy dark thing he’s been wearing all this volume. No symbolism there, heck no. *

Danko: “Unless you’ve found some samples on the Shroud of Turin, you shouldn’t be popping back up alive three days after you died. Why are you walking around with Sylar face freaking out my monitor monkeys?”
Sylar: “My DNA’s all screwed up now. I’m waking up with the wrong body…”
Danko: Dude, that’s not DNA, that’s beer goggles. Women always look worse in the morning”
Sylar:…” I’m growing extra teeth, my eyes don’t change color back when I want them to and forget changing myself into a woman ever again- does the phrase ‘Crimson Arc’ ring a bell? I’m losing myself”
Danko: ” Yourself is an asshole. Appreciate the opportunity. For someone who hates who he is, you seem really worried about not being who you hate you are. Really, can’t tempt you into a year or two of being Taub? Nice apartment, good government job, big guns, database full of nice squishy brains, that ninja uniform that makes you look real hot? Guy could do worse, Gabriel. Think about it. And quit slouching, you’re too old to be so emo.”
Sylar: * TK-burns “I AM SYLAR” into his arm, pouts some more*
Danko: “Fucking emos. If you couldn’t heal yourself, that would have been edgy. Quit moping, put on your work face and get to the office. We’ve got a guy who can make china figurines explode scheduled for today!”
Sylar: “Oooh, really?! Cool, coming boss!”

*Later: * Sylar breaks into the apartment with the freaky kid from The Corbomite Maneuver * (hey, it was on last weekend) lives. Worse than that, he steals the guy’s cocoa.
Sylar: “There’s a bunch of army guys coming here to take you away because of your terrifying figurine destroying powers.
Tom: “Why do they want to hurt us? “
Sylar: “What do you mean ‘they’? Oops. Uhh, they’re just jellus of how cool we are? Decide quick, do you trust them, or trust me?”
Tom: “Uh, you?”
Sylar: “Wrong answer. But really, they’d all be wrong answers * skeeeeeekkkk-splort
Ooh, look, all this lovely blood to paint with!”
*Danko and the boys bust in to find a de-cranium’d Tom on the floor and “I AM SYLAR” painted all over the floral wallpaper. *
Danko:”Oh shit”
Taub-lar: ”Wow. What an asshole this Sylar is.”
Danko: “It’s not Sylar! It’s a copycat asshole! Nope, Sylar’s dead still, everyone!”
Some ninja: “Hey Taub, have your eyes always been two different colors?”
Taub-lar: “So what’s your apartment like? Full cable?”

After spending the afternoon in an apartment in Virginia full of figurines, Sylar gets all sentimental about his putative mommy, Virginia. He goes home and orders up a box of evidence from her murder investigation. *
Sylar: “Awww, this is the Bunny snowglobe I got you for mother’s day. And here’s the scissors I thrust into your heart! Waitaminute!..Bunnies? Bunnies??? Ew, ick, mommy blood. I thought I used that all up painting the apocalypse “ * Squlork….

Virginia:”Oh, it’s all right dear. I forgive you for stabbing me. It was an accident” Squlork….
Sylar: “Actually, no, I really wanted to see you die” * Squlork….*
Virginia: “Sweetie, mine was the only homicide of yours that really was accidental. You should just appreciate how special that made me feel * Squlork….*
Sylar: “You really still love me?” * Squlork….*
Virginia: “Of course I do. I forgive you dear. Or, at least this delusional image of me you’re having forgives you. The real me? I’d be damning you to hell, boy. But don’t let me interrupt your psychotic cathartic breakdown“* Squlork….*
Danko: “Be vewy vewy qwiet….I’m hunting Webel!”

Sylar: “Hey Rebel. You’re shorter than I imagined. I usually don’t kill kids but maybe I’ll make an exception……”
Deux ex Michana Luke Sanderswalker: “I feel the good that’s inside you. You could save us all!”
Sylar: It is too later for me, my son. Go and tell your sister-that you were…. Oh, screw that. Wanna come home with a psychopath who kills specials and takes their abilities? We’re both orphans, you know”
Micha: “Sure, I really feel like I understand you….”
Audience: Awww, shit! Micah, no!
Micha: “I’ve been trying to hide from these government agents at night while wearing a coat with reflective stripes. Hey, how did they find me, again?”

  • Sylar takes Micah, who clearly was playing around with getting wifi on his calculator during the stranger-danger lectures in 4th grade, back to Case de Taub for some quality fugitive nap time. He refrains from giving Micah the squishy brain treatment for some reason. Maybe he feels some empathy for the little orphan. Maybe he needs the wifi fiddled with. Anyhow, he enjoys some mommy & me bugfuckery time while Micah naps:
    (Wow, that sounds really inappropriate)*
    Virginia: “What’s that little boy doing in your bed? Oh, Gabriel, I’m so disappointed in you!”
    Micah “Who’s that lady?”
    Sylar: * Squlork….* “Uh, no one!”
    Micah: “Hey, I thought you were an orphan! Liar!”
    Sylar: “Read my bio, kid? Tasty brains? Got some?”
    Micah: “Fuck this, I’m going back to Nanna Uhura’s in New Orleans”exeunt, possibly forever, Bye Micah, nice having you on the show. Sorry about your voice changing and everything. Say hi to Molly for us when you get to the Land of Misfit Orphan Hero Kids!
    Virginia: “You could be so much more, Gabriel. You could be president of the United States!”
    Sylar: “ Foreshadowing……….your guide to quality television!

Nathan: “Get out of my body, you son of a bitch!”
Sylar: “I will. Soon. Gotta go, have a 9am with President Worf. But first-flying? Sounds fun * skeee-thud? (Nathan does the dance of the taser faceplant) *
Danko: “No splicing the Senator!”
Sylar: “Why?”
Danko: “I dunno. Just seems wrong, I guess. Hey, turn around, I think you got something on your neck….* Thwock!!* (Sylar does the dance of the knife to the skull faceplant)
Danko: into walkie Cleanup in Petrelli’s office…….
Sylar:* gets up, de-knife’s himself* “Owieeeee!?”
Danko: “I’m absolutely not shitting a brick”
Oh yeah……

In our B story, Matt decides now that he has a kid he can’t do anything risky, so he takes the little fart home to the house where the feds were trying to capture the sippy-cup hero 6 days earlier. We are stunned to discover they left a platoon in the neighbor’s garage to raid Janice’s house 3 minutes after Matt&Matt come home. Damn, guy doesn’t even have a chance to hit the head after his road trip. He pulls the ‘no one is here-no really, empty house, guys!’ mojo on the ninja’s and for some reason this makes him want to leave Janice and Matty and go run off and do something-anything- to protect his friends. (Hey, you had me worried there for a minute, big guy. I though parenthood was going to turn you into a risk adverse wuss, but one cross country road trip with the crawling-ist hero, and you can’t get back to your plan-free enemy attacks fast enough. Guess the baby didn’t sleep the whole trip, huh? So back to primary custody mommy he goes!)

Hiro and Ando plan out their annual big season ending assault on the bad guys, where Hiro patronizes Ando, and Ando gets all pissed at him, and they squak at each other like old marrieds who still really love each other but have that contempt of familiarity thing happening. Ando expresses an interest in not being tased this time, thank you very much. Hiro patronizingly laughs off Ando’s wishes to not be patronized anymore, and tries to time-freeze Building 26 so they can go in and steal all their thumb drives.Or something. Let’s just say that Hiro’s been studying at the Parkman School of Tactical Planning. Anyhow, he tried to put the chrono-freeze on but instead of freezing time, he blows a brain gasket, grabs his head in agony, and bleeds dramatically from the nose. We leave Hiro with time marching forward per usual, sitting on the curb with a wad of toilet paper over his face, and his hetero life partner looking like he’s about to become hetero-widowed.

The Area Coyote folks begin to suffer the intelligence-sapping aftereffects of whatever nuclear testing was done in the area in the 50’s, because Noah drives Claire and Angela right up to a ninja road block, and Mohinder gets his weekly tasering while trying to watch his Chandra film by lantern light. See you in the Human Resources ward, kids!

Next time: Mohinder looks into getting some body armour, Sylar looks into getting a helmet, and Claire looks to be getting courted. Maybe Gabriel’ll get her a matching helmet as an engagement gift!
Should have gone to college when you had the chance, missy!

Aww, I think he’d just look all confused and worried. He’s actually lucky that Sylar interrupted his explaining of how his ‘plan’ of how explaining things to the Pres was going to fix a damn thing. I was just waiting for Claire to point out that this was just exactly the same bullshit he admitted he’d just made up on the spot the other week to fob her her off when he actually had no clue whatsoever.

Also amusing: Claire and Angela staring at Peter meaningfully for a good five seconds until he rolled his eyes and followed him.

Hell yeah. Even Mohinder was busting Nathan’s chops over his stunning strategy: “Just lock us all up forever? That’s your brilliant plan??!” :smiley:

They don’t even have to tell each other that Nathan shouldn’t be going out of the house by himself anymore!

So how many more Ali Larter characters are left to kill off? Are there missing quartuplets, quintuplets?

5 more and her Octamom.

Okay, I’m totally missing some double entendre here, because I have no idea why “Crimson Arc” sounds womanly. Unless it’s a play on Crimson Tide, in which case that’s just stupid – can nothing be “crimson” without being related back to menstruation? Arc and Tide have nothing in common.

FWIW, I wasn’t thinking that Micah actually believed in the goodness of Sylar. He had ninjas and a serial killer on top of him, he was powerless without electricity, and playing on the whack job’s insecurities stood at least half a chance of getting him out alive. At least more of a chance than running out the door and hoping no one shoots or lops your skull off. He even seemed a little surprised that it worked.

And once you’ve played the “I believe in you!” card, you’d better keep playing until you manage to talk yourself out of there.