I wasn’t really sure where to post this, or even how. I’m just annoyed with the situation I’m in.
I’m 21, he’s 43. Now, before I get into it let me just say that we’re not dating, are not a couple, or barely even a “thing.” I’m not delusional, so I’m not expecting love and marriage blah blah blah and so forth. Nor do I want any of that. I just like him a lot, its that simple. He doesn’t seem to mind me that much either, heh.
We’ve gone out once, talk on the phone occasionally and I see him at work (we don’t work together). He knows about my little crush, and I’m fine with that. I’m also fine with the fact that nothing will ever really come of it beyond anything merely physical. However, he’s taking advantage of my feelings. He’s tickled pink over the fact that a girl over half his age is smitten with him and he stomps all over my heart and self-worth in the process.
I don’t care if I’m not the center of his attention but he can at least treat me like an adult. I may be considerably younger than he is, but I am still an adult. For the most part I act like one, and I deserve to be treated like one. I really don’t think thats too much to ask. He hasn’t always been so cruel, so I don’t know what happened. We use to be able to talk normally and he use to treat me like I was worth something. I haven’t been doing anything to pressure him or smother him, so it wasn’t anything I did.
Is it the age difference? Did something suddenly click in his head and now he’s uncomfortable? I just want his friendship, not his hand in marriage. He acts like its no big deal, but something’s up. He still comes over to the cafe, but only when I’m there - my co-workers can attest to that. I guess he’ll walk over, take a look around and if I’m not there he just walks away. Yet, when I AM there and he does come over, he completely ignores me and talks to everyone else. I don’t get it. When he does talk to me, he talks down…which is new. He turns everything I say into some sort of joke - almost mocking me.
Maybe he thinks I want more from him than I really do. I just wish he would stop treating me like a child because its putting me on the defensive and now I’m starting to act differently around him. I’d bring it up to him but he acts so nonchalant about everything, I feel as though I’m expected to be the same way. I feel like he’s trying to put me in my place and I don’t even know why.
I know this is all fragmented, but I just needed to let loose a little brain vomit.