When I lived in the Netherlands for a while the dutch phrase i used most was “Ik spreek geen nederlands.”
When hearing this dutch folks would look at me funny and respond with a fast spouting of dutch that i couldn’t follow.
I was telling them, “I can’t speak dutch.” but i had said it so many times that my pronunciation and inflection were near perfect-- and no one believed that i really couldn’t speak the language.
Eventually, as i learned more of the language I switched to saying, “I speak very little dutch.” but the darn netherlanders didn’t believe that much either.
In 1977, I entered a full-immersions Spanish course - I only lasted 2 weeks, but enough to croak out “Vaya Con La Fuerza”, which of course loosely translates to “May The Force Be With You.” Yes, I had just seen Star Wars…
And my little sister’s favorite Spanish “saying” is “Como Esta Frijole?” which according to her means “How you bean?” (it’s better if you say it out loud…)
A few years ago, a friend and I used to often say “El queso es viejo y enmohecido.” (Literally, “The cheese is old and moldy,” and is it more correct to say <<¿El queso está viejo y enmohecido?>> The English version came from some movie, IIRC, although I don’t remember which.)
I also learned how to say “I don’t speak Chinese” in Chinese (I never had a clue how to write it, however). Unlike Doctor Goo Fee, I never learned how to say it very well, so people always believed me when I said it.
Thoroughout our years of high school Spanish classes, my best friend at the time and I would randomly come up with “Today’s Useful Spanish.” Which was always thoroughly bizarre as well as totally NOT useful. The one I recall most clearly is “Mi cubretetera es mala pagada.” - My tea cozy is underpaid.
I never took French a day in my life, but since entering my junior year as a college voice major, I now have to sing it. Oh joy. My favorite line is from a Satie song I learned this past semester – “Je croyais que les noisetier donnaient des noisette, Dapheneo!” (I don’t have the music with me, some spelling may be off.) Basically it means “But I thought hazelnut trees gave hazelnuts, Daphne!” Fun fun. I hate singing French.
Hmmm… well for myself I used to be able to order food and give directions in Spanish, now all I really remember is Hola. ¿Como estas? Muy bien, gracias. Antonio Banderas es muy guapo.
In German all I really know is Guten nacht and Guten tag. Along with Dankeshe and something that I have no clue exactly what it means nor how to spell even in the slightest.
In Gaelic I know Pog mo thoin, Cead mile failte, Slainte and I can’t spell it but it sounds something like ishka baha which translates literally as Water of Life aka Whiskey.
I also know only a little French remembered from elementary, basically Bonjour, Au revoir, Nest pa?, and Parles vous Anglais si vous ple.
I really want to learn more in ALL these languages though.
I also know a few words in Japanese, Chinese and Dutch, but even less than in the ones mentioned.
[sub]Please forgive any atrocious spelling. I’m bad for that in most languages, though I am decent in English.[/sub]
I spend a fair amount of time in Tokyo, so I’ve picked up a number of useful Japanese phrases that you might want to add to your collection.
Hands down, the most useful word is domo, which is usually used as a casual “thanks” (as in domo origato, literally “thank-you very much” from Mr. Roboto by Styx). It is often used as a casual greeting, or a mumbled apology.
Almost as widely used is sumimasen, “excuse me.” Be prepared to use it in the very crowded streets and trains of Tokyo. It’s a request to get by, an apology for bumping into someone and a way to attract the attention of a server in a restaurant.
One I fall back on frequently is wakarimasen, “I don’t understand.” Pretty self-explanatory.
For the more advanced, there’s atama ga itai desu, “my head hurts.” Anyone who’s found themselves in a bar in Tokyo after 12:30 AM[sup]*[/sup] knows this one well.
[sup]*[/sup]The trains stop running at 12:30, and don’t start again until 5:00 AM. Luckily, many bars stay open until dawn…
Well, sometimes I feel like I’m not fluent at all in Chinese… [sub]Especially after a Chinese test :rolleyes:[/sub] But I don’t think that counts.
I can puzzle out tiny patches of lots of languages that are similar to English or that (American) English borrowed words from (e.g. Spanish, French, Latin…) but I’m hesitant in those languages like the average Joe-from-the-street is hesitant: Hola, bonjour, vive la (insert random thing here), cognito ergo sum, etc.
Oh, and thanks to my SO, I know a very, very small amount of Japanese: ichi, chibi, kawaii, typical “fannish”.
Aside from that… A fellow Tolkien freak (not-quite-geek) and I often get people to go away by launching into a (hesitant) discussion of Quenya. Nai i eleni caluva tielyanna!
Heh, too funny. And true! Speaking Dutch to a Dutchman gives him the impression that you’re fluent, even if it IS that one sentence, “ik spreek geen Nederlands”.
We’re just not used to foreign people speaking Dutch. ANY Dutch. Do yourself a favour, and tell them “I don’t speak Dutch”. Your Netherlander of choice will instantly switch to English.
I used to be able to say “where is the train station?” and “How much is the vase” in Mandarin Chinese. I can say “Do you like golf?” “Gorofu suki desu ka?” in Japanese.
Great example, Antares! <hijacking my own thread>By the way, I love Satie. You know he was the first person to compose background music? He called it “furniture music”; biographies I’ve read describe the introduction of “furniture music” as a strange event. Attendees didn’t know how to ignore the music and have a conversation… Kinda cool. I only know this stuff because I took a class called “Understanding Music and Culture” in 2000. Someone on the SDMB suggested that I use Satie as my subject for a paper on a composer.</hijack>
I should have remembered that it was the inimitable Ukelele Ike (whom I affectionately call Guitare Petite avec Quatre Ficelles du Hawaii Ike) who suggested Satie.
Monsieur Ike, I never thanked you properly! I am a Satie fan for life. Merci Beaucoup, mon ami.
I knew this really crazy guy who translated ridiculous English idioms into Hebrew. His Israeli Hebrew teacher kept telling him that it didn’t make sense, but us students all thought it hilarious.
Who’s your daddy? - Mi ha’abba shelach?
I’m on fire! - Ani b’esh!
Yo momma! - Ha’ima shelach!
