hahaha c’est tres amusant ca 
In pinyin: Ni shi houzi lian.
In pinyin: *Ni de pi hen chou, Wo de pi hen xiang. *
Mine?
Ni muqin you hen da bizi. - Your Mum has a big nose.
(knee moo-chin yo hen da bee-zz.)
That’s what we used to use as an insult at school (we figured it out ourselves). I could probably think up a more creative one now, but eh.
Ni mama gen gonggong qiche hen xiang . . . meitian meitian ta shen shang you nansheng shanglai shangqu.
On further consideration, I should change that to:
Ni mama de shenti gen gongche hen xiang . . . yizhi you nansheng shanglai shangqu.
Of course, in correct French that would be: “mon oncle a besoin d’une praline”. 
You’re so right, Coldfire. I got my idioms mixed up. My head must have been full of eels that day.
Merci.
Better would be: “Você é um cabra fudendo, gordo, filho da puta.” Bastardo isn’t really used in Portuguese. The (in my opinion) much better phrase ‘son of a whore’ is used for the same thing.
I think my favorite is “Quando volta, tras bolo!” (When come back, bring pie!)
The only sentence I know in Japanese is “Koko-no-toki mainichi nomimashita.” (When I was in high school, I drank every day). With horrible pronunciation. 
Russian proverb from a dictionary:
kazhdy drochit kak on khochet
It means “everyone does things by the way he used to”
Literal translation: “everyone masturbates by the way he likes”
If you want, though, you can ask me and I’ll translate it (I know enough myself–just couldn’t think of anything really funny).
Oh here’s a common phrase:
Oo teba slovesniy panos.
The literal meaning is that you have diarrhea of the mouth, but it is commonly used to express exasperation with someone who just can’t shut up.
A high-school friend of mine who took Latin came up with a useless phrase that she then taught to us (possibly mangled, because I speak no Latin (and, yes, less Greek)):
Multum magnum urnae in via ludebant. (“Many large water pots are playing in the street.”)
The joke was, I think, that her textbook was obsessed with examples regarding water pots and playing in the street, so eventually she just combined them.
Ohh, it’s too hard to figure out without tones!
“Your Mum’s body and public buses smell nice… (she) always has schoolboys come up (and) go up??”
Help me out here!
(I’m only learning :o )
Yo mama’s like a bus . . . guys gettin’ on and off her all day.
Word by word: your mother’s body with bus very alike . . . continually have males get on get off.