Hey, Gnarly Narly Dude, we're in here!

I’m inviting you in here ‘cause you’ve been around since last June and one might presume you’re old enough to know better than to (a) pick a fight in ATMB and (b) pick a fight with somebody who never did nothin’ to ya.

What, you’ve got some kinda problem with me? I’m always so mean to the poor widdle newbies, is that it? Care to point out which particular festering wound on your sweet tender body resulted from Ducky’s terrible swift sword? Oh, I see, it’s just pure altruism. You’re speaking up on behalf of all those poor oppressed newbies out there, too frightened to speak, too terrorized by my ghastly Welcome Death Wagon to utter a peep of protest.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=59270

Well? We’re all waiting. Pitizens everywhere are sitting in their computer chairs, holding their collective breath, waiting for your slashing reply, waiting for the hemorrhaging flow of links to begin, for the awful truth of the Duck Duck Goose Saturday Night Massacre of the Newbies to come out. oh the humanity…

Miss Welcome Wagon picking a fight? Whodathunket?

Since when is she Miss Welcome Wagon? What, my recitation of Ophelia’s death scene while juggling cream pies from atop a unicycle wasn’t “talented” enough?? It was the swimsuit competition, wasn’t it? She flashes her two ducks and then her caboose – I mean, ca-goose, and the judges fall over. DUCK, you wench, you haven’t heard to end of this.

Miss Welcome Wagon, my ass.

I always thought you liked people to find you rude.
Wasn’t that your shtick? To hit people with bricks?
And then you disowned that side, but I see it’s back.

[sarcasm]
DDG, you and I have crossed swords in the Pit before, so I’m sure you’ll find it no surprise when I ask, “What were you thinking?”
Your response to lazy1 was

That was a viscious and uncalled for attack on a newbie and I know that would have sent me running away, tears in my eyes, wondering what I did to be so harshly mistreated. Especially that winking smiley - you cruel heartless demon.
[/sarcasm]

as for Gnarly

I can’t recall ever seeing DDG do this.

Huh? I didn’t know ANY of us mere members outranked a mod.

Oh, I see now, it’s a club thing like the Free-Masons. There’s a secret handshake or something.
BTW - Jodi and DDG, I am the Welcome Wagon and I have the sig to prove it. :stuck_out_tongue:

My Sister - I don’t know what your post is in reference to, but I don’t see how DDGs comments in the thread in question warranted Gnarly’s posts in the same thread. Past behavior has nothing to do with the issue at hand.

Umm…dip shits.
I wasn’t “frightened” by Duck the Duck, our Village Idiot.

As I told her

And I for one don’t find the Village Idiot pose endearing at all.

You toss in what you hope are “wacky” asides to disarm your opponents? Don’t work for me.

If you’ve been here as long as you claim – which I personally could not care less about, BTW – you won’t be surprised by this:

Do you have a cite for the above assertion?

As a newbie who has received tutelage from beneath DDG’s wing, I’m under the impression that, while she isn’t a Mod, that ATMB is her “turf”, so to speak. She excells in answering questions about the boards.

She is certainly anything but the “village idiot”.

DDG, I don’t think I thanked you before, but I thank you now. You have unique tone about your posts to newbies, but they are entertaining and educational.

I was thinking of starting a “Yay for DDG!” thread. I don’t need to now. Thank you.

lazy1, um, dip shit - are you fully comprehending the thread here? No one said you were frightened, this is about Gnarly Narly Dude’s replies about DDG.

And DDG, I’m getting angrier at you by the second. First you try to take the Welcome Wgaon moniker away from me and now you want Villiage Idiot too? You can’t have all the good titles, lady!

Lemme get this straight-you, lazy and GND think DDG is rude and bitchy?

DDG is just Mother Hen around these parts. She just doesn’t put up with bullshit from people with attitudes.
WE love DDG. So back off.

I find DDG’s inability to pick a waterfowl very confusing and quite frightening. And the way she said “Eh, Lazy welcome to the boards. . .” was extremely creepy, frightening and intimidating. I’m sure if I did a search with the phrase “welcome to the boards”, DDG username will appear again and again and again.

TubaDiva’s “request” that Gnarly Dude explain himself is all the proof we need that DDG has all the mods and admins in her feathery back pocket.

[Godfather moment]
And she refuses to share. The Barzini family, the Tatalia family, have all requested she share this influence she has, but she stubbornly refuses…
[/Godfather moment]

I find this extremely hard to believe. Even if you didn’t have less than double digits and a registration date of this month, it’s becoming more and more obvious that you don’t know shit about how these boards are run or the people that frequent this place.

To wit: DDG is a well liked poster. People don’t become well liked out of sheer randomness, or by post count. There’s reasons behind it.

Oh, and do you have a cite for your claim? This should be rich.

In the thread DDG cited, Gnarly Narly Dude said:

I don’t “dic[e] up new people,” Dud (no, you don’t get your E back) unless they happen to be assholes. I don’t recall dicing you specifically–if I did, you must not be very memorable–but you seem to meet the qualifications.

Oh, man, this is amusing. A buncha new “I know how things REALLY are” types. Next they’re probably gonna tell us that the mods are communist bastards.

::sigh::

I wouldn’t mind so much, if only they’d be ORIGINAL with their idiocy…

::hushed whisper::

Of course people don’t become well-liked radomly: It’s the Clique/Cabal’s decision which determines a poster’s popularity. Look at me: Ever since I did that expose’ on them last week, I haven’t been able to post at all. I’ve had my house torched, my cats kicked and strangers spit on me. They control everything!

andygirl: quiet, you fool! If you expose them, you’ll become a pitifiul wretch like me. Even hints like yours may provoke their wrath!

AAkkk! I just thought of something: What if DDG’s friendly, warm posting style is a POSE: What if she’s the Queen of the Cabal? What if the Cabal members are just her dark, unholy minions? What if I shut up before I get in more trouble with…the Cabal?

Fenris
PS: Dammit, now I’m picturing DDG speaking to the Clique while wearing Emma Peel’s Queen of Sin outfit, but with fuzzy ducky slippers instead of the leather boots. That’s a weird image.

DDG is not in the Cabal.

Here’s where she got the slippers! My God, what a mental picture that makes.
::wipes streaming eyes::

FWIW, I think that GND needs to take his meds.

::waving to Duck Duck::

Hi DDG! It’s me, Jarbabyj, spewer of tripe and assholishness. I just wanted to drop in and say hey…you know…spread some lies around, request people’s banishment, prevent free speech and all that…

oh wait.

THAT’S NOT ME.

First of all…HOW FUCKING DARE YOU comment on things here at the SDMB. That is REALLY beyond the pale, DD. NO COMMENTING ALLOWED.

And remember that time you attacked me? Right when I got here? I was waiting at the corner of IMHO and MSPIMS and you just beat me about the face and neck with an iron pipe? That was rough.

and don’t you know how sensitive my name is? I have to put SPF50 on it every morning or it turns all red.
I’m surprised I’m still here.

anyway. I apologized for being to harsh on lazy in MY pit thread…but I see that he just likes combat, so lets continue.

jarbaby