Hey guys does this turn you on?

In My Humble Opinion
1

So I’m fairly new to Myspace. I keep getting these spam emails from girls who obviously just want to get clicks for their website.

Of course they don’t just come out and say that. They try to write you a sultry email in order to spark your interest. But really, if you read this email below that I got today; would you think to yourself: “Wow, I got to meet this woman!” ?

The email:
Hello,
how are you doing?Hope all is well with you over there. With Hoping that this message will meet you in the pool of joy and happiness. Any way I am Janet by name, 31 years of age… Single and never married,and i hope age dont bother you becos i dont bother as well.sorry if i didn’t have pic to Post on here just dont know how to Post pic here because my friend log me on to this site but through chating i can mail you some pics of me to see wht i look like,i’m on this site Looking for a nice and wonderful man to have a relationship with sorry not just a man, but a man who is Honest,caring,kindly,God fearing heart man, and understanding… A man that can be trusted all the time. I know what am saying becos i know what have gone through on my searching i saw your profile So i decided to mail you and know what you think about me and if you don’t Mind Chat with me you can add me on Yahoo messenger id ( lovecost_honest_1976 ) or mail me at (lovecost_honest_1976@yahoo.com) so that we dont Lose Contact.

Seriously, WTF?

2

The grammar is too bad to be attractive, but not so bad it is cool in an “all your base” sort of way.

Seriously, train of thought messages are NOT going to win you any affection. Use the brain-keyboard filter, please.

3

Speaking only for myself, it certainly has me reconsidering being gay. Becos if such fine female catches are out there, why would I want to stay gay?

4

And they completely miss the fact you’re married.

They’re either trying to up their friend count, they’re looking to get into this country or it’s some type of porn site.

5

Pssst…those are spam messages probably written by some dude to entice idiots to click on links, not actual girls writing to you at random.

6

Why exactly would one want to “up their friend count?” What does that get ya?

7

It’s some sort of status thing on these sites(among some) to have as many “friends” as possible. Why? shrugs

8

I take the opposite approach. I sometimes write back and ask them why they think I’m a “nice and wonderful man”. I also mention that I don’t have Yahoo! Instant Messenger. They usually answer with another letter with a similar tone to the OP, at which point I ask them why a fat 56 year old gay man would be their target audience for a relationship. They haven’t come up with an answer to that one yet.

9

That’s very much written like one of those Nigerian scam emails. Not just the random capitalization, but the “I am Janet by name” phrasing. One of my Nigerian scam emails starts: “How are you? Over there, hope you are well doing, I am Mr. James Williams by name I am an international business man am married with kids I am Croatian by nativity…” I assume if you chat with her or email her, she will try to entice you into some variant of the check scam.

10

31yo and never married? She must have severe personality issues.

11

Everyone of those that I’ve ever seen has a link in it (if it didn’t I’m sure the email would be something along the lines of a link to some pictures of her). It’s spam. It goes to a porn site. I don’t think there’s much more to it then that.

12

Even if it wasn’t badly-written spam, I’d run the other way as soon as I saw ‘god-fearing’ as one of the desired traits. Why would I want someone who thinks being in a constant state of fear is a good thing? I’ve spent too much time trying to get out of fear!

13

Why?

14

Hey! F*ck you!

(just kidding, but we 39 y.o. sane single gals can be a little sensitive…)

15

Agreed. “God-fearing Heart Man” sounds like Jack Chick’s superpowered alter-ego.

16

:confused:

17

Not to mention us 45-year-old never-married guys. (Hey, I was busy.)

18

Yeah, I didn’t get married til I was 32. I just had high standards.

That is, I wanted a guy with a brain.

19

While we are on the subject, does anyone have a clue what those Myspace kudos points were about?

20

“god-fearing”, “heartman” , “pool of joy and happieness” and “… A man that can be trusted all the time.” are all big Nigerian phishing and scamming red flags. The grammar, syntax, and expressions are all indicative. Definitely not one of those Russian mail brides.

“… A man that can be trusted all the time.”, is also one of the big tics and tells of these scammers. It’s the opposite of who they are, in a freudian slip of the tongue, and really very naieve in an African way.