Hey! I Can See Your House From Up Here!

Saturday morning I woke up with a need to climb a mountain. It was like a geas was laid 'pon my head. It was like a compulsion. I needed to climb a mountain. Now to climb a mountain you need stuff. Stuff like bottles of oxygen, a Sherpa guide and a caravan of pack llamas. That’s just the stuff on the top of the list. What I had was Soupo, and Katcha. This pretty much limited my mountain choices for the day. Being in southwestern Ohio was another limiting factor. Actually having a mountain would probably be right at the top of the list of things you need to climb a mountain. Mountains are in pretty short supply here in Ohio. There’s a reason we’re the “Buckeye State”, not the “Mountains Strewn About So Thick You Can’t Go to the End of Your Driveway to Pick Up Your Morning Paper Without Tripping Over a Peak or Two State”. Luckily I knew just the place.

The approach to our mountain was simple enough. We drove there. Once in the parking lot we commenced to reconnoiter. We could commence with the reconnoitering straightaway because we put on our sunscreen at home. The reconnoitering was very important. You wouldn’t want to be halfway up the treacherous Eastern Face and have an insurmountable obstacle thrown up at you. That would just suck. So we walked pretty much around our mountain and checked the joint out. As it happens, there’s an insurmountable obstacle most of the way around the mountain. This made our choice of climbable faces pretty cut and dried. We’d go up from the parking lot side. Where we started. But we got a little walking in to limber up. Now it was time to hit the mountain.

Picking where to start our ascent took a little time. It was a trade-off. If we started closer to the summit, that would mean the fist part was steeper. If we started farther back, we had more mountain to climb. We compromised by not starting quite as close as we would have liked, but not so far away we (read: Soupo and Katcha) would get bored with the whole mountain thing and want to stop and throw rocks into the lake instead. This is just one of the things you have to think about when the rest of your climbing party averages out to five anna half years old.

So we hit the mountain. Things went pretty smoothly at first. I was breaking trail and the other two were back there somewhere picking grass stems to whip at each other. Luckily for me I couldn’t hear them in the thin mountain air. Then we hit the steeper part of the climb. We had to link hands and press onward. I was starting to fear we wouldn’t make it. But we did! We made it to the summit! We got all the way to the tippy-top and touched the benchmark that said “You are now at the tippy-top of this mountain.” It didn’t say it in so many words, but the surveyor’s stake in the ground with the nail in the middle meant we were at the tippy-top of this mountain. It’s one of those trail signs we experienced mountaineers learn to read. Wow, we were really up there! From our alpine peak we could see three strip malls and the highway. And boy was it windy.

Pretty soon, of course, the boys got bored with the Top of the World and wanted to go back down so they could throw rocks into the lake. If we only had a sled with us. See, that’s what our mountain was, a giant sled hill. And I mean giant. It’s the highest point in all of Butler County. I think it’s even higher than the highest point of Hamilton County too which is really something to say since the highest point in Hamilton County is the top of Rumpke Dump, and it keeps getting higher all the time. But our sled hill is pretty high. And amazingly poorly thought out.

As a sled hill, it has a lot going for it. It’s real high. You can really get zooming by the time you hit the bottom. And that’s just on the main approved slope. They had to put up the barrier fence on the other sides of the hill to keep people (well, not so much “people” as “kids”) off the even steeper other sides. You take a toboggan down the steeper unapproved sides and you’ll break the sound barrier by the time you hit the bottom. Which would be a plus since that way no one could hear your screams. But on the approved sledding side, you’d still go zippy. Until you hit the bottom. You know how on most sled hills it either goes flat there at the end or has a slight lip so you can stop? Not the new sled hill. Nope, the run ends in a sheer drop of nearly ten feet. I think they’re gonna fix that by this winter. Last winter was the first year the hill was even there and they told the kids not to sled on it because the hill “wasn’t finished”. Right after they let everyone know this was the highest point in the whole county, they turn around and say “don’t sled on our hill since it’s not finished.” (How do you “not finish” a pile of dirt?) On the upside, no one died. Not from lack of trying either. I think if we had more than four days of snow this last winter the dead kids would have been stacked up like cord wood. But they plan on improving the hill for next year. Like giving you a way to stop other than plowing into the gully at the bottom or ricocheting off the people trying to climb up for their turn.

But in the summer, it’s a mountain to climb. And climb it I did.

Today is Victoria Day. This means nothing to me because I’m not Canadian. So you get your regularly scheduled MMP.

Next week is Memorial Day. The Little Woman is off work, so I probably won’t make this scene on Monday. Expect a TMP next week. Unless someone jumps the gun and kicks a real MMP out. That would be just fine with me. Really.

The week after that is the First Monday of summer Vacation. The boys both have a dentist appointment in the morning, so while I might be late, the MMP should be on Monday.

The week after that I’ll be lolling on the beach of sunny Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. By “lolling on the beach of sunny Myrtle Beach, South Carolina” I mean I’ll be in the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum trying to stay out of the rain. But I’ll be on vacation, so no Dope for me.

The next Monday things should be back to normal.

Just so’s you know.

Climb every mountain! Ford every stream! Then do something else that I think has to do with rainbows! Til you find your dreams!

So, were there any dreams to be found at the top of Sled Hill Mountain? I think Soupo and Katcha had the right idea. Throwing rocks in the lake and whipping each other with grass sounds like a lot of fun. Was this Katcha’s first manly DeDay outing?

Me, I did yard work Saturday morning. I also had to go to the lawn mower place near my house to get a spark plug. Actually it’s a hardware/lawn mower place. I like it cause it’s near my house, so when I figured out I needed a new spark plug for the pushy mower, I could just hop in my truck and go down there. It’s south of me so it’s down from me. Didn’t even have to get out of my yard work clothes to do it. Yep. Went right down there in my old bear tshirt (it has a picture of a bear on it and says “WOOF!” on the shirt. WOOF! is a bear thing that I can’t explain.), my gray shorts, my white socks and my blue yard shoes. I bought the spark plug, went back up to my house (going north now) and put the new spark plug on (in?) my mower and finished mowing the bank in front of my house. That finished up all the pushy parts of my yard mowing. Then I got on the riding mower and did the ridey part of my yard mowing. Then I edge around the pool, drive and walkway. Then I weed whacked around the privacy fence. Then I got the blower out and blew off (HEH!) around the pool, drive and walkway. Oh, and I sprayed for fire ants. I hate fire ants. Anyway, I was done by 11:30 Saturday morning. I went in, took my yard work ensemble off, showered, put on a bathing suit, made lunch (grilled pimento cheese sammich and some fritos, washed down with some iced tea) and spent the rest of the day lying around by the pool. Ok, first I checked the ph, chlorine and bromide levels, adjusted accordingly then laid around and in the pool. I got a cool new float that lets me lie in the water and float at the same time. It’s :cool:

Some friends came over yesterday. We grilled chicken and had baked beans and mac and cheese. Then we laid around and in the pool all afternoon. There was beer and lemonade too. A good time was had by all.

I’m still waiting on some answers to my marriage proposal. Y’all need to be getting back with me. Taters and I think we should all elope to Vegas and be married by a team of Elvis impersonators. That sounds like fun.

-swampbear (all tanned)

OK, silly question from the new kid:

What does MMP stand for? If you’ll tell me what MMP stands for, I’m sure I can figure out what TMP stands for, and I will bother you no more. Probably.

Also, whatever the MMP is, they are very enjoyable reads. RueDeDay, write a book, I’ll buy it.


Saturday afternoon I attended my niece’s high school graduation. She was valedictorian of her class…we’re so proud! She gave an awesome speech and even the faculty and the other assorted, multi-color draped dignitaries were impressed. Then we all went to a party in honor of her and 3 other graduates (all their parents got together and hosted it-about 200 people attended.) There was lots of food, drink, and a dj. We all ate and drank and danced well into the night! I gave her a pair of diamond stud earrings as a graduation gift.

Sunday my dog let me sleep until 7 a.m., then I cleaned the whole house and then mowed, weed whacked the yard and blew off the paved surfaces. whew!! No pool for me…but I’m gearing up for TWO pool parties next weekend and a trip to Destin the week after that. I can’t wait to lie on the beach and gaze at that emerald green water.

MMP is the patented Monday Morning Post, a SDMB staple.

Sami41 welcome to the MMP! If I were smart enough, I would dig up some stuff that Rue has written and link ya to it, but I’m not smart enough. You might wanna act all nice and stuff and maybe Rue will give ya links to Unca Rue Story Guy. Good readin’ that.

Oh and feel free to chime in anytime. About any and every thing. MMPs are made to be hijacked, turned upside down, redirected and generally made stranger and stranger as the week wears on. Enjoy!

I’d respond, if I were 100% sure I’d received a marriage proposal, which I’m not. :frowning: And my cat Elvis says the Vegas wedding sounds good, but only if I wrassle him into a teeny tiny sequined jumpsuit so he can be the Best Kitty. I told him it’s all moot since no marriage proposal has actually confirmed. He said fine, how about something to eat then?

I’m not at liberty to disclose all the details of my weekend but can say that on Saturday, A Good Time Was Had By All, and on Sunday, I checked out Brad Pitt’s ass pretty thoroughly, so A Good Time Was Had By Me.

twicks I did propose and apologize to both you and 'nookie for mixing you two up. I think cat Elvis would be adoreable in a teeny tiny sequined jumpsuit. Maybe we’ll even have fresh catnip just for Elvis (the cat that is).

There are two MMPs working today. Should we be afraid? :eek:

I accepted! I really did! Marry me! Yeah I know I’m already married and unemployed have a couple of kidlets but… um… I’m cute?

Oh and I think 2 MMPs running concurrently will cause a discordance in the space time continuum with chaos and havoc running amok and as long as that makes us all younger I’m fine with that. Carry on.

I was wondering why Rue hadn’t been there shooing people out yet though!

Hm, I’ve gone the fresh catnip route with Elvis – in hanging pots, since he gnaws it to the ground then digs up the roots if I try to grow it regular-like. Which sucks, because my sister’s cats will just kind of loll in the catnip plant with shit-eating grins on their faces. Elvis, though, like his namesake, thinks the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom, so he tends to do catnip until he’s in a stupor. So we may want to skip the fresh catnip, unless we want an orange cat in a teeny tiny sequined jumpsuit sprawled on his back, snoring loudly, with little cartoon x’s where his eyes used to be. Of course, such behavior from the Best Kitty would only add that Elvisian je ne sais quoi that every Vegas wedding calls for. (I voted for the fat bloated Elvis when they were trying to decide which Elvis to put on the stamp. “Suspicious Minds” – great freakin’ song, f*** that “Teddy Bear” nonsense.

I didn’t get to do nothin as fun as mountain climbing this weekend seein as mountains are in rather short supply in Florida. The terrain here makes Ohio look like Nepal, if you know what I mean. I climbed Mt. Mohonk in New York State once a long time ago. It was in the winter and was real cold and slippy slidey but fun once we got to the top. A sled would have been good but we didn’t have one so had to get down by shank’s mare.

I got to go to a wedding shower instead this weekend which was about as much fun as removing dryer lint. You get to fork over money for a present and then drink bad punch and eat precut cheese and pepperonis on Ritz crackers and watch otherwise normal women make another otherwise normal woman look like a moron by wrapping her up in toilet paper. Don’t ask. Swampy, I hope we can forego all of that nonsense for the mass wedding.

Speaking of, the gold or silver frame for my diploma sounds lovely. I must give more meaningful and soulful thought to my gift to you. Right now I’m leaning towards a “beer-of-the-month” but am open to broad hints.

Oh, and on the diploma front, I got a notice what said I had a Fed Ex delivery attempt on Friday so I’m hopin that’s it. I’ll let ya know later.

This is for Sami41 who is jonesing for more Rue stuff and for anybody else who has never had the pleasure of Unca Rue Story Guy. It’s down toward the bottom. Use yer scroll function already!

Tupug if the “beer-of-the-month” could be brought to my door by the “burly-man-of-the-month” that would be particularly lovely. :smiley:

I agree with the no wedding shower thing. I’m all for just lettin’ everybody send loot by UPS or FedEx or just leave it by the front door. Just seems easier that way.

Because I am one to toot my own horn: Look! Look! The Uncle Rue stories in their original thread form!

The original and still the first.

The sequel just because people like sequels.

Finally this, but you have to look for 'em.

Please don’t bump the old threads.

Well, I don;t know quite what to say in this thread…However, for some reason, some cosmic alignment, I am smiling quite broadly this morning. It could be because I spoke at commencement yesterday, and bid a wonderful senior class " fair thee well…" it could be because I am healthy, happy, and in love! It may even be because the weather has been wonderful, the green is back in everyday life - as in the leaves and everything botanical is in bloom - and it could also be because my wife and I are trying to get pregnant, and things are going very well :slight_smile:
But in the end I must blame the tone and refreshing feeling this thread is giving me!

Carry on :slight_smile:

Psst – I think Phlosphr has been getting into the catnip again.

Then let’s not sit Phlosphr and Elvis Cat at the same table at the reception. That would be a brawl waiting to happen. I think a cat in a catnip stupor would be fun at a wedding.

[sup]me too :)[/sup]
p.s [quick anecdote] - we used to grow cat-nip in our garden, until the night of the screaming lady.

Screaming lady was of course our neighbor’s 5 year old unspayed siamese cat…Upon a 3 a.m. inspection I concluded that the cat was dead…however, noticing every cat-nip plant we had had been eaten to the ground I went for closer inspection. The cat was alive…and slightly twitching…:slight_smile: I left said cat there over night, and in the morning I picked up the still sleeping feline and brought him next door, and over a coffee and donut had a good laugh with my neighbor. :slight_smile:

I saw a terrible movie after work on Saturday. It was called Super Troopers. It had the guy who played Agammenon (is that spelled right?) playing the bumbling sheriff. Don’t see it.

I did not climb any mountains, or ford any streams, this weekend. I did just find out that my best friend is a) going to call me tonight (it’s a big deal- we only talk to her and her husband once a month or less) and b) going to be able to visit this summer. So I’m all happy.

Mr. Lissar is going to be watching Evangelion (is that spelled right? Anime) today. The whole thing. Second husband assures me that by the end they’ll be able to fly. It’s 14 hours of not-sense-making anime.

Getting married again means so much more loot.