Know what y’all? I just checked and Bumba is right! I am nekkid under my clothes.
Bumba knows all and sees all - how else did he know you were nekkid under your clothes? We are all incredibly blessed that he has deigned to share his wisdom with us lesser beings.
All hail Bumba!
Susan
First, a return to Winnie-the Pooh:
The former kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. You need to use “big people words”, she’d always remind them.
She asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend.
“I went to visit my Nana”,
“No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!”
She then asked Joey what he had done.
“I took a ride on a choo-choo.” he said.
“No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words!”
She then asked Eddie what he had done. “I read a book,” he replied.
“That’s wonderful” the teacher said. “What book did you read?”
Eddie thought about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said,
“Winnie The SHIT!”
And now, a medical joke:
A middle-aged woman seemed timid as she visited her gynaecologist.
“Come now,” coaxed the doctor, “you’ve been seeing me for years! There’s nothing you can’t tell me.”
“This one’s kind of strange…” said the woman.
“Let me be the judge of that,” the doctor replied.
“Well,” said the woman, “yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and I heard a plink-plink in the toilet. When I looked down, the water was full of pennies.”
“Mmmm, I see,” said the doctor.
“That afternoon I went again and there were nickels in the bowl.”
“Uh-huh,” the doctor said as he got more and more interested in her story.
“That night,” she went on, “there were dimes and this morning there were quarters! You’ve got to tell me what’s wrong with me!” she implored. “I’m scared out of my wits!”
The gynaecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “There, there, it’s nothing to be frightened about…”
(Are you ready for this?)
(I’m warning you…)
(Still not too late…)
“You’re simply going through the change.”
Rue’s style is kind of virulent. Like an infection. You just start typing and wham, you’ve come down with it. But it’s much more fun than mumps.
No more cat pictures this week. I promise. Not even the little purple one at the bottom of my posts. I should also like to mention, in passing you understand[sup]*[/sup], that I like all sorts of animals. When I was a kid we had oodles of pets. We had four ducks, three dogs, two rabbits, a guinea pig, a box turtle, a mynah bird, several hamsters, and about five thousand gerbils. Not all at once of course 'cause the house would get a little crowded. And smelly. And possibly I’m misremembering how many gerbils there were. I know we started with three, then our cat ate one named Oscar. Oscar was the gerbil, the cat didn’t have A name though my mother used to call it interesting things. So we had only two gerbils left but that was enough apparently and soon we were in gerbils up to our eyeballs. Figuratively speaking.
What was the point of all this again?
Oh, yeah, anyway I like all kinds of animals. I keep cats because they’re the lowest maintenance and I’m fundamentally lazy. They’re good lapwarmers too.
So I guess that’s enough. I’m not picking up anymore of Ex’s slack without some gloves on. 
*I originally typed this as “understank”. There has got to be a joke in there somewhere but durned if I can find it. Little help?
Understank is the smell that wafts out of one of my co-worker’s pants after he’s put in a long, sweaty day in the shop. Stanky smell + Underpants = understank. If all goes according to plan, I’ll try to use this word in conversation today and report back with responses and what-not.
lightingtool, as intrigued as I am about the responses you’ll get, be sure you remember the “what-not” part, too. After all, this is an MMP we’re talking about here!
We’re ALL ABOUT the What-Not.
Oh, believe me. I’ve got what-not coming out the ying-yang.
Yes, I have seen a doctor about that.
Hey everybody–go and have a good long weekend–enjoy the pool, go to the beach, go camping and all that stuff (I’m hoping it keeps raining so I have an excuse to watch movies all weekend, but if it gets sunny, I may go to the beach. Or the waterfalls. Or maybe the mountains (big, tall craggy mountains), I mean, I can go to any of them in just an hour or so, so why not?).
But, please, on Monday, take just a minute to think of the men and women that gave their lives for our country (if you’re an American, or for you own countries heros and heroines if you’re not, even though you may have your own national holiday to do so, they can never be remembered enough). The best thanks we can give them is to live with joy so you all don’t need to stay somber all day, but a little acknowledgment will make the whole day sweeter.
<sheepishly climbs off soapbox>
And don’t forget to use sunblock!!!
Well, I am going to the horse races at Emerald Downs tomorrow. This should be interesting. The last time I went to the races I was all of 12 and certainly not old enough to place bets myself. However, I read the sheet and made selections. The gentlemen that took me and my sister dutifully went and placed all my bets. Know what, I won every race, except for one where the horse was disqualified for acting up in the starting gate. I even won the Exacta. I came home with $250.00 smackeroos (they were only two dollar bets). That was a lot moolah for me. I am HOPING that I have the same kind of luck tomorrow!
I don’t know what I’m doing the rest of the weekend, but I am sure we’ll be doing something or other.
Oh, by the way, we (myself, hubby and kids) went bowling last night and I actually broke 100 every line. I was dang proud of myself!
Understank… hmm…definitely a new word that needs working into crude conversation. I’m sure I’ll be able to work that into my conversation tonight at some point.
Swampy, I was thinking of you today. On my rather long and weary commute home the B52’s Love Shack was playing on the radio. I guess because they hail from Georgia I immediately thought of you! I like that song. I rolled up my windows and bellowed right along with the song. (I don’t want anyone to hear me singing, but as long as I turn the radio up loud and roll up the winders, I figure I’m safe ).
Our weather promises to be nasty this weekend because of course it’s a three day weekend. But…I’m a true Northwesterner. I don’t let a little rain stop me.
You midwesterners need to quit sending your tornadoes our way. We’ve had a total of about six touch down in the last week. This is a rarity here, and frankly, they didn’t do too much damage, but still…we’re becoming a regular tornado alley here!
It’s thundery in southern MD. Tomorrow we’re going to look at a few more houses, and we’ll fix the water pump on the boat. Sunday, we’re going up to see my mom. Monday, we’re vegging. I have no jokes… sorry.
Everyone be safe over the holiday weekend. First one here on Monday does an honorary MMP. It probably won’t be me - I’m going to take advantage of the chance to sleep in!
Mwah! Kisses to all! Even Ex, 'cause I care! 
FCM!!! 
Hello, so glad to see you back with the gang. Good luck on the house hunting thing. Hopefully your good luck will hold up and you’ll find the right house at the right price at the right time!
Don’t know if’ll be the first MMPer here on Monday either. The nephew is living with us until he can get an apartment and both he the hubby tend to hog the 'puters.
Back to defrosting hamburger. I’m making a quick, cheap dinner because I thought we had other dinner plans, and now I have to fall back on some Hamburger Helper. Hey, I can’t be all gourmet, all the time. Sometimes it’s just gotta be cheap and easy.
I’m thinking that if the weather continues to be as yucky as it’s projected to be that Monday may just be a very good “curl up with a good book” day. I may even take a very nice long soak in my humongo tub with bubbles and read there too. I’ll light some purty and nice smelling candles…aaaahhhh, that’s EXACTLY what I’m gonna do on Monday. Now, if I can just kick the rest of the family out of the house so it’ll be nice and quiet, it would the PERFECT, LAZY day!
Bless you my child.
You may kiss the hem of my garment.
I’m naked under here you know.
I’ll try not to come off all preachy like in future.
Wasn’t any of our tornadoes I think because we had one here last night. A handful of houses lost their roofs.
No report of any ruby slippers though.
HEY! I’m nekkid under my clothes, too! :o Don’t stare - I’m self-conscious about it.
I’m shy, dammit.
OMG! We made Threadspotting and I’ve posted all those jokes! :o
No, I’m gonna hold my head up high! I did post those jokes and I’m proud of them. (Well, maybe not all of them, but let us not nit-pick). Not only am I proud of my jokes, I’m proud to be–especially in the company of so many distisguished fellow Dopers–naked as a jay bird under my clothes.
There is not, as one may infer from that last sentence, a jay bird under my clothes, naked or otherwise clothed. Nor does it mean that, under my clothes, I have feathers. Birds, including jay birds, do not wear clothes (as a rule, although I am sure that somewhere there is some bird wearing a cute little sweater with matching hat) and are therefore always naked. Hence, the comparison.
As a West-Coaster, I doubt that I’ll be initiating the MMP, but if I’m reading a good book and stay up until way-too-late on Sunday night, I may do it then, just for the honor of kicking it off.
Late=about midnight
Way-late=1:00am
Way-too-late=after 2:00am
Way early=after 4:00am
Too early=6:00am
Early=8:00am
Just right=9:30am (okay, it’s really 10:00, but that sounded lazy)
But your mileage may vary.
Swampy, 
It’s taken me this long to get over the cat poo sammich image. Dunno if I can ever eat pimento cheese again. Well, maybe after reading your recipe.
Nausicaa, don’t be shy, we are all striving to attain Rue’s exaulted status.
I’m not.
I’m just trying to get a date.
Really.
Wow. Threadspotting. The link didn’t even say, “The SDMB reaches new heights of inanity” or anything.
Memorial Day is like Remembrance Day, right? Except we celebrate it on Armistice Day- November 11th. And everyone wears poppies.
I just got home from Fun Job, where I shelved books and read The Rules which is hysterical. Don’t call him! Get a nosejob! Always wear makeup! Heh. Funny. Also found a book called Extreme Latin, which I need. It has all sorts of fun phrases, like, “The girls wave to the sailors. The sailors are hunks. Unfortunately, they’re gay and not interested in the girls.”
Just like my Latin textbook, except more fun.
I have to be at work at 10 in the mornaing, and am working more or less straight until 11 tomorrow night. Pity me. Going to bed.
If I’d known we were gonna make Threadspotting I’d have worn my good underwear.
Wowsers.
All of the sudden I’m self-conscious.
If you need me I’ll be behind the arras over there.
Right next to the stiff.