If you lived close to me I’d have messaged you by now, but apparently women don’t want funny, stable, friendly guys with a 5-year-old daughter. So, you know, it ain’t that easy on the other side.
I was thinking beads of perspiration, but that’s more of a glandular secretion than a condensation.
Just remember to practice safe condensation folks.
As someone whose spent some time on dating sites, by OKC standards, that one is tame, educated and well written…and probably a joke. There are LOTS that are much, much, much worse then that one, but that the author clearly put work into. Those are the ones I feel bad for.
I posted this in the online dating profile thread, but in one epic fail of a profile I ran across these three lines (amongst many others):
(In the “Recently Read” section) “My profile, no typos here, my mom’s a english teacher…”
“Profiles don’t describe sufficiently describe people’s attributes”
“I am looking for the same charascteristics in a partner”
Seriously, who writes something like this and is proud enough of it to actually mention in another section that she proof read it and there’s no mistakes.
Do you mean there are no mistakes? 
mmm
I never claimed claimed my work was typo free.
Nope, you are not alone in your admiration of that answer. Just being honest.
I wonder if this profile is on that same site:
Name: Richard Kimble.
Profession: Doctor of Medicine.
Destination: Death Row, state prison.
Richard Kimble has been tried and convicted for the murder of his wife. But laws are made by men, carried out by men. And men are imperfect. Richard Kimble is innocent. Proved guilty, what Richard Kimble could not prove was that moments before discovering his wife’s body, he encountered a man running from the vicinity of his home. A man with one arm. A man who has not yet been found. Richard Kimble ponders his fate as he looks at the world for the last time. And sees only darkness. But in that darkness, fate moves its huge hand…
Oh, Ladymarmalade— is there any buzz you can’t kill?
Just to make sure - is it still okay to make fun of Mr. Pink Panties On Company Time?
Ain’t that the truth? I can write somewhat well and actually read their profiles. I’ve written probably close to 200 emails and gotten maybe 10-20 responses, and almost all of them are no thanks.
Hey, I’d at least consider talking to a guy with a kid, all other things being equal. That’s an awfully big responsibility for somebody who doesn’t have any kids of their own, though. I mean, if you’re looking for something long term, you have to really consider that seriously. You wouldn’t want them not to take it seriously, would you?
Yeah. True. Thats an awful lot to consider.
And going further, maybe my “Richard Kimball” thing was over the top & unjustified. Truth be told, some people are larger than life and defy easy name tags and labels. Maybe we all do, deep down. There was another thread where I fessed up to liking a certain make of car as a fantasy car & linked a picture and some music from a movie that scared me as a young kid. If you didn’t know me…didn’t know that I Loved Halloween…you’d think I’m just another psycho who likes “death music” (ick). But that just wasn’t what that was about, and it isn’t what I’m about.
So maybe this isn’t what he’s about.
There are a lot of us in this world who want things. Not all of us know how to go about chasing our dreams the right way or how to express what we want or how we feel. It doesn’t make us sub-human. It can make us different, true. I honestly believe that for some people,
different is possibly what they need/crave. I don’t know what the real story is behind this guy. Maybe it was a Whoosh or a bad first attempt. Maybe this guy lost a bet or got goaded into Internet dating by a relative. For all I know, maybe this guy has found somebody since then and has never looked back. I do know that life’s too long to live without happiness, no matter how smart you are.
So he’s making 30-50,000$ at his political/government job as a one armed postal worker, who values sucking pussy above his family.
Hard to believe he’s single!
Frankly, when you put it that way…
And if things go well, the two of you can dew it.
Are you certain this isn’t a joke profile? I’ve written a profile about how I’m a 50 year old who was just divorced from my seventh wife.
I actually got some replies, but, then again, I explained it was a joke.
My very favorite dating site story is the time I received a note of interest from a fella I honestly would have gone out with at least once, if he hadn’t been geographically incompatible, living in Ontario, Canada, while I’m in Seattle. I’d have been breaking a personal rule about not dating anyone who’s a parent, but he was so intriguing, so alluring, and the whole thing would have been a GREAT cocktail party story …
Because he was a Hulk Hogan impersonator! There were photos and everything! He was a very convincing lookalike; it was obvious the photos weren’t of the real Hulk.
Oh, and the best part? His not to me read, in part, that he “wanted to put a headlock on (my) heart”! Really, if that doesn’t scream romance, I don’t know what would.
Okay, yeah, I would have gone out with that guy at least once.