Err… his original post didn’t seem very critical of Esprix at all. His only reference was to opening a pit thread just because somebody voiced his disapproval.
Perhaps you’re reading things on your computer screen that aren’t there? Time to get a new monitor, perhaps?
Safe sex is all about your comfort with risk - we all know the only truly 100% safe sex is no sex at all. But I and my partners are obviously comfortable with the safe sex that we practice. I remain, after 14 years of being sexually active, 100% disease free, and have been the entire time.
And while I’m at it, I’ll again point out that AIDS cases are growing fastest among heterosexuals, not homosexuals - I hope EVERYONE practices safe sex, regardless of who you’re sleeping with, how often, or how many.
Esprix
Wow. Thank you for your subjective value judgement.
I’ve known people who go on dry spells for months. Then they get some rain and sometimes a deluge. Who the fuck are you to decide what is promiscuous in someone else’s life?
If Esprix, I, or anyone else chooses to have a gangbang with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, swing from the chandeliers, and then have an orgy with the Baldwin brothers, it’s not your place to judge. Just because you have a standard for yourself does not mean it applies to anyone but you.
Some of us can be careful without being sexual martyrs or eunichs. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
By the by… not smoking is not 100% reliable when it comes to not getting cancer. As much as one attempts to avoid second hand smoke, there are countless other carcinogens which can also cause cancer.
You could also increase your chances of living a longer life by not riding a bicycle. It isn’t safe to ride bicycles on the streets when there are so many careless drivers who don’t want to make sure their road partners are protected from their potential driving errors.
Life is risk. Living life means taking risks. A life without risk is a life unlived. It just requires one to decide what is worthwhile and what isn’t. You don’t get to be around forever, so why not do the things you really want to do and be smart about where, when, and why you do it?
We do not tolerate hateful insinuations on the Straight Dope message board, especially if they’re factually unfounded. You may or may not agree with what Esprix is doing in his spare time, but accusing him of spreading AIDS is another thing altogether. It is ludicrous, insulting, and homophobic.
Words to that effect were also posted in the MPSIMS thread at hand. Thanks for starting a Pit Thread, oldscratch. We like to see MPSIMS nice and clean.
How is saying ‘Having Sex with Multiple Partners <> Practicing Safe Sex’ judgemental? I’m just saying that having sex with more people in one week than most people have sex with in their entire lifetime is not a very good way to minimize your chances of catching an STD, even if you take some precautions to reduce the chance?
OK, so where were the mods when JDT outright called me a pedophile? (Not that I’m complaining, but in comparison, I’m more offended by the latter.)
Esprix
It is judgmental on many levels:
It presupposes that there is an amount of people that is too much or too high to be having sex with.
In most people’s parlance, promiscuity is a negative word which presupposes many things about the person being so labeled.
You don’t know what is the right amount of people to sleep with for anyone but yourself. Just because you and your friends can count all your sexual partners between you on one hand does not make you less able to have or get an STD.
It does not make you more virtuous, and it does not make you a better person.
Some people, like myself for instance, think that giving pleasure is one of the most wonderful things one can do on this planet. If I, or anyone else, chooses to do that, what makes you think you have the right to sit in judgement?
Umm, homophobic? Why is it that every time someone criticizes the sexual habits of a homosexual the person doing the criticizing is considered homophobic?
I had a friend who was very promiscuous. She had sex with 95 people between the ages of 14 and 17, and always insisted on using a condom, she kept a good supply in her purse. She caught two STDs during this time frame (luckily for her both were treatable). Extreme promiscuity is dangerous, even if you use condoms.
I’d say the same thing to a straight man who was bragging about having sex with nine people in a week.
I never said you were homophobic. I think you are a judgemental prude, but I didn’t say you were homophobic.
I never said anything about virtue, or that having sex with a different person every day made Esprix a bad person. I said that it was not safe sex.
How can you possibly say that having sex with only a few people doesn’t make you less likely to catch an STD than if you have sex with dozens of people? Has logic totally deserted you?
Batz, the part you’re not getting is that you can have more than one sexual partner, practice safe (or safer, if you prefer) sex, and still not spread and/or contract an STD. In fact, the chances are highly likely that if you do practice safer sex correctly (and I’ve been well educated my entire sexual adulthood on the matter, particularly as a gay man) the chances of getting anything is practically nil.
You’re quibbling over “practically” and “highly likely.” But, as Hastur so ably points out, everything about life is risk - don’t go out in a car, you might get in an accident (but if you drive safely, the chances decrease dramatically). Don’t go into the city, you might get mugged.
My friend Theresa once told me something very wise - “I do not fear AIDS - fear paralyzes. I have a healthy respect for AIDS.”
Words to live by.
Now strap on a condom and join in the fun. 
Esprix
Fair enough. It wasn’t in my forum, but IIRC, JDT explained that he didn’t insinuate you were a pedophile. He said it was all a misunderstanding. I remember being too unfamiliar with the initial insinuation (which used a quote or remark about a fictional character?) to make a good call on that one.
Then again, it’s not like you were the only one that was insulted by JDT. In the end, that’s what got him banned. We merely kept him because he seemed somewhat entertaining to a lot of people.
I wasn’t talking about you, I was talking about what Coldfire said about Pharmboy, which you probably could have figured out if you scrolled up and looked for the last time someone said ‘homophobic’ before I mentioned it.
I am definitely not a prude, I would have had a lot more sex than I did if I had the opportunity. I didn’t start having sex until I was 22, so the fact I have had sex with seven people in my life (I am 28) puts me ahead of the national average. Three of them were last year, and I don’t even know the last name of one of them (who was one third of a menage a trois). I know I put myself at a higher risk for catching an STD than someone who waited for marriage and remained monogamous for the rest of their life.
I’m not judging Esprix. I’m stating my opinion of the idea that one can be promsicuous and ‘safe’, sexually. I also do believe it is hypocritical to attack the government for a lack of spending on an STD and still practice unsafe sex. I don’t think pointing out a logical fallacy is being judgemental.
What I’d like to know is, who is this person that is having unsafe sex and loudly complaining about underfunding of AIDS research? I’d like to meet him and tell him a thing or two, by God!
:rolleyes:
Esprix
ryan, if I, or most other young, single men, were going about banging broads like it was going out of fashion, we would have done exactly what Esprix did. The only difference is that if I had said that I practiced safe sex (as Esprix did) there would be NO ONE telling me what I did was wrong.
If he plays as safe as he can, who are we to moralize?
Well EXCUSE me. Though if you don’t think PharmBoy’s post was homophobic, you may be stupid as well as a prude.
I won’t even get into my opinions on the lameness of waiting for marriage. I would on the other hand like to see a cite for your facts. Where did you get this national average?
You are being judgemental. The man already said he always has safe sex with his partners and then you claim he’s having unsafe sex. Get some facts about sex and STDs, and then get a life, Mr. Menage.
Shit, I passed my 1000th post and didn’t even notice it!
I want to apologize about the hypocrisy comments I made. First, realize that I don’t see hypocrisy as a major evil, just an aspect of humanity that I accept, though find a bit annoying. My main problem with complaints about government spending on AIDS research is that it seems unfair considering they spend far more on it than cancer or heart disease, which I think are more important health problems. Most AIDS cases could have been prevented. At least Esprix is showing some caution, though I think if someone cared enough about a problem to want everyone to chip in more to get rid of it they should do everything they could to avoid it.
IV drug users can stop sharing needles, promiscuous people can try monogamy, or at least use condoms and get tested frequently. People who are afraid of cancer can do things to reduce their chances, but there is no way to reduce your chance of getting it to 0, unlike AIDS.
What a way to spend it, getting kicked around in the pit. I just have to point out that your chances are NEVER 0 in getting AIDS. You may be happy and monogomous, but your spouse wanders. Doctor’s can catch it from patients. Kids are born with it. People have gotten it through blood transfusions. You can lessen your chances, but you cannont say the chance is 0
Our definitions of safe sex are different. When I think ‘safe’, I think ‘reducing your risk to virtually 0’. You apparently think ‘reducing your risk’.
If Esprix demanded that each of his partners had been tested for all STDs prior to sex, demanded to see proof of the testing, and somehow made sure that these partners had not had a chance to contract any diseases between when they were tested and when he had sex with them, I would consider that safe sex. I seriously doubt that he did. For all he knows some of them may be HIV positive - if they frequently have sex with people from out of town they met on AOL, I’d say that puts them in a higher risk group. Wearing a condom would reduce his chances of catching it by about a factor of 20. I don’t consider that safe sex - safer, not totally safe. Safe sex is sex with someone you know to be disease free.
If everyone practiced safe (by my definition) sex, AIDS would not be so widespread. Unfortunately, very few people do practice safe sex. I didn’t, I didn’t get tested until before I was married, only one of my previous partners had been tested clean and didn’t have sex with anyone since then until me, and she COULD have been lying. I’m feel that I’m safe now, but that is dependent on my trust of my wife. If I am totally wrong about who she is and she has cheated on me, I am at risk again, but aside from abstinence I feel that I have done everything possible to get rid of my risk of catching AIDS.