HEY! You do NOT turn your back on my friend!

The BBQ Pit
1

Mr. Rilch and I are friends with a married couple. To be precise, “David” was our friend before “Sarah” moved here to be with him, but she’s such a sweet and loving person, she immediately became our friend too, as opposed to “buddy’s wife—friend by proxy”. Last night, David was over here, without Sarah, and told us something that absolutely made my blood boil.

Mr. Rilch suggested that the next time the four of us meet, it should be at a restaurant. We were throwing out some names, and when I mentioned a place we’ve been before, David said, “No, we’re not going there any more.”

Turns out, David’s mom was there with Sarah, last week or so. During the meal, an unruly kid, whom David thinks “belonged to” one of the staff, was running around the dining area. Not too cool. During one of his circuits, he kicked the back of Sarah’s chair, hard enough to cause her some pain. Definitely not cool. And, Sarah has chronic back problems. WAY uncool.

Granted, the kid, and whoever should have been supervising him, were not to know this, but that’s why you don’t let your kids run amok in public places, right? Because you don’t know who might suffer something more than mere annoyance as a result of their actions.

So, Sarah goes up to the cash register and asks to see the manager. On his arrival, she informs him politely (I wasn’t there, but I can’t imagine her being anything other than totally ladylike) that the kid has been kicking her chair, and this has caused her some pain.

So what does this fuckwit do? Turns his back and walks away.

Last night, I was so goddamned mad about this that I was almost ready to go over there and kick ass on Sarah’s behalf. Oh, you know I wouldn’t really do that, if only because I’d first have to bring them up to speed on why I was so angry. But I can’t imagine that it happened any other way than the way David described it. And if I had been there…ooh, boy…

I told David, “Well, that’s the point at which you ramp things up! That goes way beyond ‘But he’s a chi-yulllld!’ bullshit—that’s an adult, who definitely should know better, being unforgivably rude!” Mr. Rilch added that he would never have paid that bill, either. David just sighed and said, “Well, 20/20 hindsight…”

Now, I didn’t pursue this, because I didn’t want to dwell on it and make him feel worse. But I know that if I’d been there, that scene wouldn’t have been over when the manager walked away. That’s not any hindsight, either. I know how I am, and I know that if someone dissed me in that way, that would have been just the beginning of it. No way would I have let that go. Of course, I would have ended up having to take my business elsewhere…

God damn, man. You do not turn your back on my friend. Or anyone who comes to you with that complaint.

2

Write a letter to the local restaurant critic, & ask for a little help.

You never know…

3

Well, as I say…
“If you can’t beat 'em, let ME beat 'em!”

Seriously.

4

Sarah and/or David should go back to that restaurant and talk to the restaurant manager. If it’s a different person than the one who walked away, (could have been the manager on duty, not the overall restaurant manager) make your case. Things like that are NOT acceptable at all. The restaurant, and the person who walked away, owes Sarah an apology, at the very least. Talk to the person with the highest rank in the restaurant. Letting the local food critic know is also a good idea. He/she often has access to managers and can help deal with the situation.

5

Is the place a chain restaurant? Then send a complaint to HQ.
If it is a local place just don’t go there.

6

Well, I can’t really tell Sarah and David what to do here, and I know that confrontations are not their strong point. I can’t make the complaint myself, either, because I wasn’t there. Not that I anticipate that there was another side to this story; certainly not…but I wouldn’t be able to provide details, like where they were sitting and what the kid looked like.

I’m just a helpless observer in this really, which is why I posted it as a “damn you!” Pit thread and not a “What should I do?” IMHO thread.

However, writing to the food critic seems like a suggestion they would take. Plus which, it is a local restaurant, so no HQ—but being privately owned is, I think, what makes them more vulnerable. Sarah and David are both very active in local theater, and the restaurant is in the theater district. If this gets around, it could put a serious dent in their business.

7

You got it right, you are an observer.

8

An opology was deserved, that i am 100% behind you for. Or at least an explanation (see below) or something!

But you said the kid <i>apparently</i> belonged to the staff. Maybe it belonged to a customer.
Or a worse scenario: The kid belonged to the manager your friend spoke to. And he just didn’t want to get into the spotlight.

9

I trust, if Sarah and David do take this up with the restaurant’s management, they’ll be sure to point out just how diligently they intend to spread this story, unless suitable amends are made? Restaurants live and die on word of mouth, and this is a powerful weapon. Doesn’t even have to be raised as an overt threat, either. Just something like: “And the friends I’ve already mentioned this to have been quite as indignant as we were. I daresay my friends and acquaintances in the theater world will be equally upset when we tell them.” Said politely but with unmistakable intent.

That should focus management’s attention wonderfully.

10

Not even an observer, as he got the story second hand. Actually third hand, because David wasn’t there, either. Since Rilchiam didn’t actually see anything I would strongly advise taking any action whatsoever. It’s possible it was a simple misunderstanding. What if the harried manager said “I’m sorry”, walked off to tell the guardian to reign in her kid, and Sarah didn’t hear the apology or notice the managers actions to correct the problem?

I’m not saying that’s what happened, I’m only saying second and third hand accounts aren’t the most reliable ways of figuring out exactly what happened.

11

Monkey: I’m a she.

But you have a good point.

12

Ah, that sucks. Sometimes it’s harder to hear about things like this second or third hand, because you get so mad on behalf of the people that it happened to, and there really isn’t anything you can do about it except commiserate and think bad thoughts about the culprits.

13

Yeah, and first hand accounts will, also, frequently get you in trouble.