Half-brothers? I’m more interested in the Full Monty.
I always thought Monty Python was at most half-funny
I knew a guy who worked as a nature counselor at a summer camp who always took his python to camp with him. If the kids were well behaved during his lectures, he’d let them watch him feed white rats to the snake. The boys always crowded around him to watch. They likedd to watch the bulge in the python’s body move down its length as the rat was being digested.
I just read the worst adult story. Here is an example of the writing: She saw his bulging python housed in his spandex pants. She thought, “God, I wish I could have some of that, but I am only a poor public sanatation worker, and he is a gold medal winning bicyclist. How will I ever get him to notice me.”
Rose bent over to pick up the hamburger wrapper off the ground as he approached her from behind…
An obvious reference to Great Britain’s Chris Hoy, who must be surprised to learn he’s inspired fanfic.
I find Chris Matthews to be shrill and offensive, even though he seems to make a tad more sense than Raw Limburger. Something about these folks talking over their guests and trying to make them seem foolish goes against the grain of what I was trained to think “guests” were all about. Imagine Johnny Carson jumping all in Zsa Zsa Gabor’s shit! (Oh, wait. He did that, right? – Never mind.)
To make a limberger sandwich you need:
Thinly sliced pumpernickel or whole grain bread
Raw Limberger cheese
Thinly sliced onions and
Pepper to taste
I would also reccommend Altoids, but to each his own.
Speaking of slicing things, I did a real number on my own left thumb on Christmas while slicing up some vegetables. That was about an hour after I burned my left hand when I dropped a pot full of boiling water. Fortunately the “bad things come in threes” pattern did not ensue, and I didn’t do myself any further damage during the day. Both the injuries are pretty much healed now.
Which reminds me of the cliché in TV shows and movies – when a pregnant woman goes into labor at home, someone inevitably yells “Boil some water!” Has any Doper actually been involved in such a situation in real life, as either the expectant mother, the order-barker, or the individual entrusted with the task of getting the H2O above 212º Fahrenheit?
Wow! I always just thought it was to make coffee! Like, “Dump this kid and let’s have another cup of coffee!”
Not to get off the subject :rolleyes: :rolleyes: , but does anyone know if Juan Valdez has children? I used to see him and the burro all the time, but never Mrs. Valdez. I also heard he got arrested for being a peeping tom, but maybe that is an urban legend.
All I know is that he spilled a lot of oil and got reprimanded for it.
No, no! That was the *Exxon * Valdez, you silly! Did you know Exxon used to be called Esso? That was so much more logical. The name actually meant something: Standard Oil. S.O. Esso.
The term S.O. for “significant other” really bugs me. In fact, the colloquial use of significant other bothers me. The term originated in psychology and means something completely different. From Wikipedia:
*In psychology, a significant other is any person who has great importance to an individual’s life or well-being. In sociology, it describes any person or persons with a strong influence on an individual’s self-evaluation, which are important to this individual, as well as reception of particular social norms…
In social psychology a significant other is the parent, uncle, grandparent, or teacher - the person that guides and takes care of a child during primary socialization. The significant other protects, rewards and punishes the child as a way of aiding the child’s development. This usually takes about six or seven years, and after that the significant other is no longer needed, the child moves on to a general other which is not a real person, but an abstract notion of what society deems good or bad.*
Many soldiers on the battlefield were quite surprised to find they were following the orders of a figment of someone’s imagination. MAJ Problems caused an immediate retreat. All would have been well, however, until PVT Issues went public.
For 6 months I played a Red Mage in FFXI, a MMORPG. At 48, I was perhaps the oldest female player on all servers, including Europe and Japan.
Major Problems seems to really get around. Everytime something really bad happens, one finds Major Problems nearby. I wonder how old he is by now…
My sister once was playing a war game with my little brother. She assigned them names and ranks. She was General Nuisance and he was Major Problems. I think she was too young to understand the double meanings inherent in the names she chose. She was only 6 at the time.
When I was 6, TPTB at my school decided, after subjecting me to several tests, to boost me up a grade in the middle of the school year. Seems my parents thought it a good idea, since my brother had done well in school after he was bumped up. Thing is, they forgot to ask me if I thought it was a good idea. All I knew is I’d been separated from my friends, and must have subconcioiusly done poorly enough so that i stayed in 2nd grade they falling year when all my friends joined me.
Anyone else think of that old rhyme that goes “First grade babies, second grade tots, third grade angels, fourth grade snots/ Fifth grade peaches, sixth grade plums, seventh grade apple jacks, eighth grade bums”?