Y’all I am not even kidding - often here in the public library restroom you’ll find snack wrappers, because people eat their snacks secretly in there. Whatever. But today it was a Funyuns bag!
When we semi-ironically went out to a few bars for my low key bachelorette party, this very drunk woman attached herself to my elbow congratulating me and yelled in my ear “It’s my birthday! I’m 40 today! I’m about to get me some birthday dick!” and I said “That’s nice! This seems like a good place to look for some!” and she yelled “DID YOU HEAR THAT I WANT BIRTHDAY DICK!”
I think she may have been a loose woman but I didn’t have any calipers with me to check.
Probably not your Average Joe, but there definately are men out there who have such skills. Your more metrosexual men, from places like Lincoln Park or Manhattan.
Sadly, Wesley Clark probably wins the thread. Not so much about attire, but much more about desperation.
Things that better the odds of looseness, although nothing is a dead certainty:
Tattoos
Piercings other than ear
Smoking
Obvious lack of a bra
Obvious lack of underwear
Too much makeup
Long fingernails
Way too much jewelry
Much more skin shown than is appropriate for the situation
If she is loose she is going to swing her rear end out when coming out of a corner under power. This is also called oversteer.
Her rear end will slide out and fail to grip. She’ll burn that rubber and you can’t get traction anywhere. You may even end up sitting in the ditch facing the direction you came from and wondering what the hell happened.
