Weirddave had a stomach bug during last weekend’s dopefest, and I think I caught it. Much to the trepidation of Mississippienne, I’m now farting like crazy, among other things a bit too TMI to mention. And these farts are bad, even to me, so bad, in fact, that I have to leave the room. And I usually love my farts.
Did anyone else from our dopefest get a stomach ailment?
Adam
No, but then again I wasn’t in a corner tongue-kissing him all night like you were.
Oh, crap. I’m in trouble.
Daniel
:eek:
This bit is probably worht talking about.
I farted after reading your OP. Does that count?
No stomach ailment here (knock on wood).
In the interest of vectoring, all I had to eat were the snack veggies that I brought and those blue corn nacho chips. (And two slugs of Rebel Yell bourbon – that stuff could kill the strongest bug!)
I wasn’t even at the Fest, and it would seem I caught this mysterious farting disease…
…about 15 years ago.
I’m confused. How do you tongue kiss a fart?
Oh, I see.
I had some of the hot chili, and several servings from the hops and barley food group, and this little piggie went “Toot, toot, toot, all the way home.” 
That’s the sad part about living alone-my parrot and the cats are the only ones around to appreciate my mellifluous bum. 
This has me in tears… No, waitaminute. It’s that brown cloud moving in from the East.
Hee hee hee. Stay away from anything that’s on fire, ok? This reminds me of a story (a TMI story, but you should know that’s what this thread is going to become…)
Last summer, one hot sweaty night, I was getting ready for a shower. I had gotten undressed and passed Mr AFG in the hallway, and I gave him a nekkid hug. Then it happened. I ripped a huge fart. It was a very hot night and I was kind of sweaty all over, including my behind, so the gas fapped through my butt cheeks with a sharp staccato sound. It sounded just like a motorcycle puttering loudly down the street. Mr. AFG was horrified and I thought it was awesome (both the fart and his reaction).
I think my story scared everyone off…
Well, any post containing “fapped through my butt cheeks” is liable to be the sort that drives a stake through the heart of the thread and cuts off its head just to be sure.
But I’ll bump for ya.
You’re claiming that people who commit incest with their mothers are prone to farting?
As I was reading your post, I was laughing so hard that I got into a coughing fit and had to stop before I collapsed from my laughing fit. I wasn’t having a great day, but your post made me laugh so hard that I was crying! Definitely brightened my day
Ha-- AFG, that (very vaguely, I promise) reminds me of a time many moons ago when, after partying pretty hard with the folks, (blotter, not blotto) I ended up crashing on my friends’ sofa.
Not too long after everyone turned in, I heard the usual commotion from the next room, and did my best to ignore it. Then it got really loud, and there was a huge crash followed by torrents of laughter that didn’t seem to stop, for a long, long time.
About half of the laughter is soon getting louder as its proximity decreases. Next thing I know, I’ve got a nekkid girl collapsed on top of me, giggling like a loon.
“Larry… bwahahahahahaha heeheeheehee… David was… bwahahahahaha… David was… bwahahahahahahah… He was… was… hweeehehehe… David was going down on me… bwahahahahahahaha… and… and… bwhahahahahaha… I was just about to… hehehe… to… hahahahaha… just about to come, bwhahahahahah… and then… snerk just as I was about to… heheheehehehehe I let this… hahahah… huge fart… bwhahahahahahah… like… “BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!” hahahahahahah… and his face was right there! Haahahah… and… hahaha… wait… wait… hahahaha… I blew him against the wall! Hahahahah Right against the wall! hahahaha! He knocked over the bookshelf! Ahh… umm… I guess you had to be there. G’night.”
I wish I could have seen the look on my face.
The proximity increased, I meant. But I’m sure you figured that out.
It’s just the choice of words. “…fapped through my butt cheeks…” Yow. I’m sure the implications of that statement are unintentional, but still…
Ha ha! Yeah, I realized that could be misconstrued…But that’s exactly the sound it made. FAP-FAP-FAP-BRRAAAAAP!
There was simply no better word.
(Sorry for hijacking your thread, Adam. :D)