“Come, family. Let’s all warm ourselves by tv’s warm, glowing, warming glow…”
“But it costs ninety-five hundred dollars! We only have fifteen hundred. That leaves … eighty hundred.”
I’m pretty sure that ends:
Brain: That it. I’m out of here. sound angry footsteps and then a door slams
Homer: Every time I learn something new, it pushes something out of my brain. Remember that time I took that wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That’s because you were drunk!
Homer: And how.
Marge: Homer, your work called, they said if you don’t show up today, don’t bother coming in Monday
Homer: WOO HOO!! FOUR DAY WEEKEND!!!
I’m not not licking toads.
Homer: Remember that time when we made out at the miniature golf course?
Marge: Tee hee! We were so drunk!
Homer: Yeah. But now I’m drunk on love. And beer.
Give me some inner piece or I’ll mop the floor with you!
Homer: And that talking coyote was just that talking dog.
Dog: Find your soulmate Homer!
Homer: Wait a minute…dogs can’t talk.
Dog: Bark!
Homer: Damn straight!
We can dance, we can dance, everybody look at your pants.
“Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably! The lesson is: never try.”
“I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.”
Best. Episode. Ever.
“The internet… pfffft! Is that thing still around?”
“I am evil Ho-MER, I am evil Ho-MER”
mm
My favorite Homer/Brain conversation ever:
Homer: Well, time to go to work!
Homer’s brain: Little do they know I’m ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour.
Homer: Roll in at nine, punch out at five, that’s the plan.
Homer’s brain: Heh, heh, heh. They don’t suspect a thing.
Homer: …
Homer’s brain: Well, off to the plant!
Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery.
Homer’s brain: Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it?
Homer: I’ve got to think of a lie fast!
Marge: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?
Homer: Aaiiiiggghh!
While escaping in a hot air balloon:
“Okay, I’ve got this figured out now. We can go up and down, but not side-to-side or back in time.”
While working from home on a computer:
" ‘To start, press any key.’ Where’s the ANY key? I see ES-CK, Cah-TRL, PiG-UP…there doesn’t seem to be any ANY key. Phew! All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I’ll order a Tab." [Presses TAB key – computer beeps] “Whoops, no time for that now, the computer’s starting!”
And of course the timeless classic:
“Mental note…the girl knows too much!”
From “Moutain of Madness”
Homer: He has Powers! Political Powers!
Homer: Oh no. He’s trying to hypontize me, but not in the good las vegas way.
You’d be amazed how often you’d hear those at home.
Homer’s walking past a gym - “Gyme? What’s a gyme?” (long pause) "Oh, a gyme.) 
Homer’s rendition of Chumbawumba’s Tupthumpin:
“I take a whiskey drink, I take a chocolate drink, and when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink! I sing the song that reminds me I’m a urinating guy.”
Marge: Homer, are you running an illegal booze bootlegging operation out of our basement?
Homer: Marge, I’m not going to lie to you.
(Homer turns around and leaves)
-Joe
Homer: [singing] Oh Mindy, you came and you gave without flaking / But I sent you Ben Gay / Oh Andy, you kissed me and stopped me from something / And I – [sees Lisa watching] Uh oh.
Lisa: Dad, why are you singing?
Homer’s Brain: Tell a lie, tell a lie.
Homer: Um, because I have a small role in a Broadway musical. It’s not much, but it’s a start.
Homer’s Brain: Bra-vo. [slow sarcastic clapping]
“In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!”
From the episode where Bart becomes a boyscout
“Egghead likes his booky-book!”
Homer, Homer Simpson, he’s the greatest guy in history
Homer, homer Simpsom, he’s about to hit a chestnut tree
D’oh
[nitpick]
The second verse is:
From the, town of Springfield, he’s about to hit a chestnut tree
[/nitpick]
Homer (with glasses): The sum of the squares of any two sides of an isocoles triangle is equal to the square of the remaining side!
Guy in stall: That’s a right triangle you idiot!
Homer: D’oh!