Horrible Headlines

Skywalkers in Korea cross Han solo

Surely this was a deliberate play on words by the headline writer.

Reminds me of the (allegedly genuine) headline in a British newspaper during the North Africa campaign in WW2:

Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans

Ouch!

I saw one in the local paper a couple of years ago that I wish I had sent to Jay Leno:

Cops Forced to Shoot Man with Knife

My wife and I caught this one ourselves a few years back in the Concord, NH newspaper. She might even still have it. Exact headline:

“Couch Fire Leaves Man Homeless”

My all-time favorite, about a University of Washington – University of Oregon women’s basketball game:

HUSKY WOMEN POUND DUCKS

I recall hearing of a newspaper story about a trip that went wrong. A travel agency had promoted a deluxe excursion to Irelend, with visits to all sorts of famous attractions, top-class accommodations and food, etc. The customers came home complaining of fleabag hotels, terrible food, broken-down busses, etc. The headline was “Tour allure a lie”

The best one was after the Scottish soccer/footy team Caledonian Thistle won, 3-1, against Celtic in a Scottish Cup match:

Super Cally go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious

Title of an intel report during my Iraq deployment: Insurgent goes fishing with RPG. A little overkill, no?

There’s a headline writer who deserves a raise! Headline writing is an art (especially back in the days of print journalism where they had only “x” characters of space to play with), and this person’s a master.

When Solaris was released, there was controversy over George Clooney’s nudity. The headline-

Big Stink Over Clooney’s Butt

Swear to Og.

No question about it.
If not a raise, the writer deserves at least a luxury tour of Ireland. :wink:

I’m confused. What could it be besides a guy living on a couch and it burning up?

It started as a couch fire and burned down his whole home, in my estimation.

Similarly, a chiminey fire or toaster fire could also leave one homeless, without requiring the person to live in a fireplace or kitchen appliance.

For a story about a blood drive: Red Cross Out For Blood.

A friend used to pray for the day the Miami NBA team would win the championship in hopes of the following headline:

Of course, this is the same friend who used to wait for great plays by Olaf Kolzig so he could quip

We are looking at the headlines themselves and that one has a double meaning. Besides, why did it list the intermediate fire? It was a house fire that left the man homeless.

I can only assume they listed “sofa fire” as a proxy for “stupid smoker fell asleep” so we could all feel a little moral superiority without even having to read the article. :slight_smile:

I bet there’s a porn site somewhere devoted to that very thing.

And that! :eek:

A National Enquierer Classic:

It seemed a dwarf had conned many people using a fake “Talk to your dead loved ones” psychic scam. He was arrested and released on bail, which he proceeded to skip.

Headline covering the story read:
“Small Medium at Large”

FML