I agree with what’s been called the ‘puritanical’ side, frequenting prostitutes is contributing to people being hurt and exploited, the prostitutes. Nor do I agree with what might be called the ‘modern puritan’ suggestion that legalizing prostitution would make that all go away. It’s similar IMO to the moral degradation surrounding the illegal drug market. I’d entertain a practical argument, in the world as it exists, that legalizing some of it would be less worse, case by case. But I don’t buy the implication that making it illegal is the whole source of the moral problem.
Which is really not trying to pick on OP or anybody else. One comment was made contrasting men who can’t get sex and have trouble accepting that, compared to men who can’t play pro sports, drive Maserati’s or drink $200 shots. But that covers a very wide range of exclusivity. Successful pro athlete is order of 1 in a million in a given sport, comparatively lots of people can lease a ~$80k Chrylser 300-based Maserati Gibli (maybe $200-300k cars is the idea, but still not similarly exclusive to being a pro athlete) let alone piss away $200 time to time on a drink. And many or most men have or have had a reasonably fulfilling, at least at times, consensual non-commercial sex life. The better comparison is whether everybody ‘deserves’ a decent job. Many or most people have that, a lot don’t, and that’s not necessarily accepted as the way things go by either the people who don’t or others on their behalf.
My second point doesn’t contradict my first though IMO. One is participating in something seriously wrong by creating a market for prostitutes, whether or not it’s reasonable to feel you in some way ‘deserve’ a decent sex life or decent job.
The two of which are somewhat connected. The reality of life (IME) is some guys aren’t attractive to women, the ‘whole package’ including their looks, personality, attitudes, and job or financial status. I somewhat sympathize with OP’s who can’t get women (this isn’t the first) getting ‘advice’ seeming to make that their fault (your standards are too high, you’re not a nice person we can tell, etc). Although every person has the basic right to reject romantic advances they don’t welcome, all the more obviously not their personal fault not to have a romantic relationship with somebody who never even asked.
Although as long as ‘advice’ stays away from ‘you have to change your socio-political beliefs in general to be more like ours’, it’s valid to point out that you have to meet and talk to people from your target audience (male or female as the case may be) to have any chance of non-commercial romance with them.
Change is possible. And you don’t have to totally reverse polarity. You don’t need to become a total extrovert. You just need to become a bit less socially invisible to the point where its not a major or minor handicap any more.
There are 8 counties in Nevada that have legal prostitution. A few others could have legal brothels but don’t now. The biggest population counties (Las Vegas, Reno) don’t allow prostitution.
Speaking as an (estranged) Anglican / Episcopalian communicant, I think I have a higher opinion of most sex workers than I have of most of the episcopalian clergy these days.
I like them both. I have never been with an actual prostitute/escort but I have been to high-end Rhode Island strip clubs where nearly everything but actual sex goes in a private room. That is $140 minimum for 15 minutes with a 8, 9 or 10 but I always made them talk to me for a while before we went in. I like having the arm candy and the conversations more than the actual dance (even if you can call it a dance; it is just full contact simulated sex on a couch with security outside in case something goes wrong).
I actually liked them and most of them weren’t exploited at all. They were surprisingly candid. A few were real college students (I asked detailed questions about their studies), some were professionals that commuted in from Boston including a museum curator and some of them just admitted they knew they were hot and couldn’t make that type of money elsewhere. One of my favorites worked really hard 6 nights a week and then took time off to travel the world for months at a time visiting 25 countries so far. I wish I could have done that. She freely told me anything I wanted to know about that side of the biz as did some of the others. I didn’t feel bad for them at all.
I can’t do that anymore now that I have a priest as a girlfriend but it was fun while it lasted and money well spent. An actual relationship is different than a session with someone you could never get in real life but both are good. The OP got a good deal regardless. I spend way more than that even on my priest girlfriend. Women are expensive no matter how you play it.
I think my husband would come out quite well in any divorce. We aren’t planning on it anytime soon - we are well suited and still are in love after 25 years - but also, it would be too expensive - for both of us. While he has frequently outearned me, I’m the frugal one who has been sticking money in the stock market for 20 years. If we were to divorce, he’d end up better off than he would have been without me because if we hadn’t married, he would have spent every cent he earned.
I’ll clue you in to something. Many women in the 21st century hold their own jobs and contribute to the household financially. Some outearn their husbands. Some spend less than their husbands. I know several couples in my circle where she is the main breadwinner in the relationship.
Finding such a woman might actually be a net gain to a man - not only would he not have to pay for sex, but his standard of living might actually INCREASE in a dual income household.
I’d really encourage men to stop looking at dating as a short term “get sex” situation and start looking at it more from what is seen as a traditionally female perspective “is this person going to make a good life partner.” Or stereotypically, we might date bad boys, but sensible women marry men who will hold a job and mow the lawn - as well as being good compatible life partners. I honestly think that sensible men do the same thing - and don’t marry a woman who will expect him to support them while they buy lots of shoes and do the laundry once in a while.
If you don’t want to pay for what you are getting out of prostitutes, then you want to find a real girlfriend. So, you do the basics. Take a shower, wash your hair, brush your teeth, wear clean clothes. Find an environment where women are present where social interactions take place.
Then, you practice making eye contact, and smiling. If you find someone who smiles back, you go up to her and say something you have practiced. “Want to trade jokes? I will tell you a joke, then you tell me one.” Then you tell a joke, she will tell you a joke, and then you have a follow up question where you ask her something open-ended - “what was the last book you read” or “what is your favorite movie” or “did you see the latest installment of (some TV series that you like)”. The idea is to get her to talk about herself. Then you ask her out, and make it specific - **not **“would you like to go out with me sometime” - more like “would you like to go see the hockey game on Friday”.
Practice asking women out, and play the percentages.
Do they take 45 year old women to be hookers? How do you know the prostitutes are straight - that doesn’t seem to bother the men who buy sex, why should it bother them when then sell it? And I’m sure a guy can make $150 sleeping with women in podunk cities in the Midwest, the clientele may leave something to be desired - and I know you can make $150 a trick sleeping with men - and you might get to meet your local congressperson.
It might be a good idea to find a fuck buddy. I’ve had them. I’ve known plenty of guys who have had them. Of course, it takes being able to offer the woman in question a mutually satisfying experience. That might involve work on your part.
And if a man doesn’t want to put in work in order to find a fuck buddy, but would rather just pay some money and be on his way, what do you suggest that man do?
Where would you recommended I go to meet women? Somewhere that they might be receptive to male advances? I don’t know about nightclubs- I’d have no one to go with, I don’t drink, and I don’t like shouting to have a conversation.
Women are all over. Join a church, join a social club, volunteer for a charity or a political candidate or cause, take a class, join a book club, a hiking club - anything that will get you out of the house.
Something to keep in mind - at least once or twice in the first few times, it will feel like a disaster. That’s OK. Stick with it, keep practicing - play the percentages. Eventually someone will go out with you. Then you get to practice going on a first date. Maybe it will work out, probably it won’t. That’s OK too - the point is practice.
The only piece of advice to take from the “bad boy”/Pick Up Artist is not to invest too much in any one date. You hit on everyone who is even remotely interesting. If you connect, great. If you don’t, go on to the next.
Maybe, on average, one woman in twenty will go out with you if you ask. So ask the next twenty women, and you’re in like Flynn. Lather, rinse, repeat, and eventually you figure out stuff like how to get people to talk about themselves (always a good idea), you work out some standard ice-breakers, and the whole process becomes easy.
The world is full of women - just keep asking them.
Work to make prostitution legal. Know the prostitutes in question so that you can get a feel for whether they are being exploited or are actually in it for the free trade. Make sure they are legal adults - and hopefully women who have been legal adults for several years.
I don’t have a problem with prostitution - I have a problem with the exploitation of prostitutes.