Horrified at the money I've squandered on prostitutes

[QuickSilver]

@Marcus_Flavius

So if I see the woman I mentioned that I had a nice experience with, say every other month, and pay $150 per visit, would you say I would be spending significantly less money than the typical guy with a girlfriend?

For sure. The girlfriend experience is significantly more expensive. But definitely worth it.

[Delicious]

@Marcus_Flavius

$150 could have paid for one of the following: a nice pair of air Jordans, a months worth of groceries, a month and a half worth of gas, or a minor car repair.

Have you considered killing & eating the prostitute? It would save on groceries.

[Sicks_Ate]

@Delicious

Have you considered killing & eating the prostitute? It would save on groceries.

I dunno. Have you seen the price of fava beans and Chianti lately?

[Delicious]

@Sicks_Ate

I dunno. Have you seen the price of fava beans and Chianti lately?

True, but that’s assuming OP has refined tastes, since he’s worried about money, and tin of kidney beans and some lambrini ought to do

[Spiderman]

@Delicious

True, but that’s assuming OP has refined tastes, since he’s worried about money, and tin of kidney beans and some lambrini ought to do

Kidney beans & kidneys? How gauche!

[Sunny_Daze]

Canned chili and some Budweiser?

[Marcus_Flavius]

@Delicious

Have you considered killing & eating the prostitute? It would save on groceries.

Nah, last time I did that I almost got caught by the police.

[Marcus_Flavius]

@QuickSilver

For sure. The girlfriend experience is significantly more expensive. But definitely worth it.

The experience I had with her was indeed a 'girlfriend eexperience, ’ and it was very nice. The only session I’ve ever had with a prostitute that I would be willing to repeat for full price.

Most prostitutes do not provide a 'girlfriend experience. ’ Their only concern seems to be getting you to “finish” as quickly as possible then sending you on your way.

[Gatopescado]

@Marcus_Flavius

So if I see the woman I mentioned that I had a nice experience with, say every other month, and pay $150 per visit, would you say I would be spending significantly less money than the typical guy with a girlfriend?

Two words: Dooney Bourke

You do the research…

[Beckdawrek]

@Gatopescado

Two words: Dooney Bourke

You do the research…

You kill me. That will scare him off girlfriends for sure!

[Gatopescado]

@Beckdawrek

You kill me. That will scare him off girlfriends for sure!

Hey, I coulda sprung “Louis Vuitton”, “Salvatore Ferragamo” or “Jimmy Choo”, but I wanted to ease him into acceptance.

Fuckin’ D&B is soooo 90’s…

[eschereal]

@Beckdawrek

You kill me. That will scare him off girlfriends for sure!

Hey, that is nothing: I surprised my woman with a hand-painted-leather Annuschka for some change; she got addicted to them and has herself bought half a dozen of those beautiful, pricey things. I kind of feel like a pusher who says here, just try a little.

[Beckdawrek]

Somebody better break it to him about shoes.

[don_t_ask]

It seems that here in Australia, perhaps because it is legal, we have healthier sex workers: Monthly sex worker tests are ridiculous, health experts say.

Three Australian studies have found that about one in every six men admit to having paid for sex at least once.
Professor of Sexual Health at Melbourne University, Christopher Fairley, said research showed monthly testing was unnecessary and a waste of public health resources because sex workers have much lower rates of STIs than other people.
This was backed by a recent study of patients at the Melbourne Sexual Health Centre which showed that of 2896 female sex workers tested for STIs over three years, only 3 per cent were positive.
In contrast, the study found that 41 per cent of 4208 STIs diagnosed at the clinic over the three years were in men having sex with men.
“You are at lower risk of catching an STI if you have sex with a sex worker than if you have sex with a member of the public,” Professor Fairley said.

[Slash1972]

@eschereal

one either has to obtain fresh source material from time to time or maintain an active, dynamic imagination.

Luckily there is a source of fresh material of any type available right at your fingertips!

[Lamoral]

I’m going to give you my honest, non-judgmental, genuine advice:

Take all the frustration and insecurity and angst in your life, and channel it into something creative, whether it’s art, music, or something else. Pick up a fucking guitar and if you can play just two chords (“Jane Says”, for instance), sing about the shit in your life…it doesn’t need to be a coherent songwriting process, just free-associate. Get emotional, pound those strings until it hurts…just do this a little bit, and eventually it will lead to something useful. If nothing else, it’ll make it easier to get laid for free.

[Marcus_Flavius]

@Jacquernagy

I’m going to give you my honest, non-judgmental, genuine advice:

Take all the frustration and insecurity and angst in your life, and channel it into something creative, whether it’s art, music, or something else. Pick up a fucking guitar and if you can play just two chords (“Jane Says”, for instance), sing about the shit in your life…it doesn’t need to be a coherent songwriting process, just free-associate. Get emotional, pound those strings until it hurts…just do this a little bit, and eventually it will lead to something useful**. If nothing else, it’ll make it easier to get laid for free.**

Not if I play bass.

But you do have a point. It would be far better if I could take the resources that I would use for paid sex and use it instead on something more productive. The problem is, going without and intimacy at all, sexual or otherwise, day after day, month after month, year after year… is very difficult.

[Broomstick]

@eschereal

Of course, the Fleshlight handled correctly can greatly relieve the mental task of off-getting, and with self-checkout at many stores these days, you can avoid the condescending glances of the cashier and other customers as you buy a fresh tube of K-Y so that you can keep using it.

Maybe the customers are interested, but speaking as a cashier I really don’t give a damn what you’re buying. That “condescending look” you see on my face is your imagination.

[Loach]

@Marcus_Flavius

Not if I play bass.

But you do have a point. It would be far better if I could take the resources that I would use for paid sex and use it instead on something more productive. The problem is, going without and intimacy at all, sexual or otherwise, day after day, month after month, year after year… is very difficult.

I think we have different definitions of intimacy.

[Dangerosa]

@Marcus_Flavius

Not if I play bass.

But you do have a point. It would be far better if I could take the resources that I would use for paid sex and use it instead on something more productive. The problem is, going without and intimacy at all, sexual or otherwise, day after day, month after month, year after year… is very difficult.

Get a dog. (Not for sex, but for intimacy). Get a cute dog, train it so its well behaved and friendly, and walk it in public places every day at the same time (figuring out which time might take a while) and maybe you’ll end up with a girlfriend as well.

(In Minneapolis I do not think it is possible to remain single all Summer if you have a cute well behaved dog that you walk regularly around one of the city lakes.)

You may discover that with a dog (or a cat who cuddles next to you) your need for sexual intimacy diminishes.

Then find a social hobby. Magic the Gathering. Volunteer work. A book club. A whiskey club. A softball team. A golf league. Your local Star Trek fan club or Confederate reenactment group. Anything where you can practice talking to people - and people - not women. You may discover that as you have more intercourse (in a non-sexual sense) with people, your need for intercourse in a sexual sense diminishes.

And at that point, don’t be surprised to find that when you don’t NEED a girlfriend for sex, you discover you have a girlfriend - and she is about so much more than sex - because she’s a person who shares your interests and loves your dog and you can have conversations with. And that type of girlfriend you won’t even need to bribe with purses and shoes.