A man’s main motivation may be sex, but the successful ones who get laid a lot of have mastered how to speak to women in a manner than makes the women want to be around them, treat the women kindly (which is not the same as just lavishing money/gifts although some of that is probably in play), and in general have figured out how to please women sufficiently for those women to have sex with them.
Again, it’s not luck, it’s mastering social skills. If you are not socially skillful yes, that will be a problem.
Based on the prostitutes I have spoken to (and when I worked at a drug rehab clinic I got to meet quite a few) on their side it’s strictly a working transaction and has little or nothing to do with “physical intimacy” other than someone else touching them. To them it is WORK. They may not even enjoy it, but they don’t let the customers know that because it’s a mood-killer.
And, given the nature of that work - giving a man sexual release with either minimal chit-chat or an illusion of a relationship that doesn’t work - you are unlikely to ever know if the woman is a drug addict, regularly abused, held against her will, or otherwise being coerced into the job. Rather like how low-level retail flunkies are expected to smile all the time and be cheerful regardless of what personal disaster they’re enduring outside of work, and to simply accept whatever abuse customers dish out. Except, of course, retail flunkies are far less likely to catch an STD from their customers or suffer a physical beating from either their customers or their managers.
Yep. You probably won’t be too interested in the women, but there are women who pay for sex. I hear that cabin stewards on cruise lines that cater to older women can make a killing.
However, what’s wrong with selling yourself to men? It will likely be a far better business.
Your straight? How do you know these female prostitutes are straight? Or even sexual? How do you know they like it? That’s the whole points, you don’t - and to many of them its a means to the end. Your age, gender, weight or raving case of halitosis isn’t something they have the luxury to concern themselves over. Not the $150 hookers in podunk cities in the Midwest.
Very few men. I’ve known a few. And you apparently aren’t one of them so stop worrying about them.
They have something. Maybe they are hot. Maybe they have charisma. Maybe they sit in bars and use my favorite pick up line “when I was in law school…” Maybe they give off that “lost boy” aura. Maybe they just ask every woman they meet, and while they have a .001 hit rate, that’s sufficient to get them laid once in a while. Maybe they understand how to talk to the women who will be most responsive to them.
But since you aren’t that guy, stop worrying about that guy.
Some guys have trust funds, then get great jobs through nepotism, and have life handed to them on a silver platter (I’ve known a few of those as well) - and while the rest of us poor suckers are paying down student loans, they are driving a new BMW at 22 that Daddy gave them for a college grad gift and hanging out with models. Guess what, life isn’t fair.
As if everyone who has a relationship went through some sort of self-actualization cocoon.
Some of the most toxic, petty and bitter people I have ever met have no problem getting relationships.
Maybe it’s just me, but, if you’re into frequently breaking the law doing something that might appall current and future lovers, friends, employers, and coworkers, do you really want to post about it online?
It’s more than a little depressing to me that the OP’s only objection to frequenting prostitutes is the amount of money he’s spent. And the women weren’t even purty enough for him, doggone it. But I suppose it’s easier to view women as eager participants in the sex trade if you believe that the phrase “human trafficking” is meaningless.
FWIW I don’t think the issue here is a lack of self-esteem. Rather the opposite: a fairly deep sense of entitlement. If you really want to have a decent, fulfilling relationship with a woman, a reasonable approach would to make the effort to meet people and get to know them as individuals. Radical, I know. Though to be honest, I can’t imagine any woman with the slightest scrap of dignity even contemplating a relationship with a man who has sex with prostitutes.
Trump starts with an advantage…he is wealthy. He has a second advantage, in some cases he’s been in a position of power over the women in question - he can ruin her career.
I have a good friend - a mousy little man, short, not handsome - dresses well and well groomed…smart, funny, kind…but not head turning. And 50 or so years old.
He was at a bar in Washington DC and everyone was really nice to him. People were buying him drinks. Beautiful young women were throwing themselves at him. The friends he was with had played a practical joke on him - they’d told the bar he was a reclusive Midwestern billionaire.
Plenty of people are shallow (and not just women, he was having a lot of men who were interested in him - perhaps they didn’t mean to get to him through sex).
Thing is, from your earlier remarks, I got the idea that you think these things are an acceptable part of a “bad boy” image, and will not repel women. That is pretty wrong. These are opinions held by the mostly sexless. I won’t guess about cause and effect here, but the overlap seem rather high. These things are “creepy boy” image, not bad boy.
How is that male shaming? It’s you shaming, sure, but I read that as her shaming you for things you have described about you, not for things common to all (or even most) men.
Look, I think sex work should be legalized. I think that would allow the providers to have legal protection, and make it safer for all parties. And I imagine there are women willing to have have non-commodity sex with a guy who has patronized prostitutes. But you do come off as an entitled guy who misunderstands the sex trade and would be very unattractive to most women.
I don’t think those are opposites. And I think both are the case - low self esteem and a huge sense of entitlement. Plus the ability to not bother to look to see things he doesn’t want to see (human trafficking is overblown if not outright fabricated), the ability to blame others for his problems (the FBI shut down the website he uses taking away his options, his sex drive is so high he has to use prostitutes and that isn’t his fault - its just nature) - both related to the sense of entitlement.
What I really don’t get is why so many men like Marcus think they are entitled to sex, but they don’t think they are entitled to play professional sports or drive a Maserati or indulge in $200 shots of Scotch.
Just to speak to the one I have third-hand experience of… Several year ago, a friend discovered her husband was trading in photos of sexually abused children. There were a LOT of photos on his computer, and he was taking in a lot of money from them, enough that he was neglecting the business they were in together.
(She turned him in, got an expedited divorce, and stayed away from him. When it was clear the authorities had enough evidence to convict him, he killed himself. )
Anyway, yeah, child sex rings are real. Pretending otherwise does not make a man look attractive to women, nor to other men.
Luck doesn’t enter into it. The “limited social life” and the introversion account for nearly all of what you call “bad luck”.
If you want to have more sex, and if you want to have sex with people other than prostitutes, you’re going to have to be less introverted and reserved and get a social life. Preferably a social life in settings that have women other than prostitutes.
Bad boys don’t tend to be actually bad. Having dated a leather jacket wearing, motorcycle riding, member of a band once or twice in my life. Even a high school dropout or two. Many of them - the ones that last more than a date or two - are kind. They aren’t clingy. They are fun. There isn’t a lot of pressure to do anything but spend some time together, and if one or the other of you doesn’t want to spend time together today - no big. And if one or the other of you decides you don’t want to spend time together again at all - that isn’t a big deal either - you aren’t dating a bad boy to settle down and have a white picket fence (although sometimes you fall in love, get married, and the bad boy becomes the father of twins with a graduate degree - not thinking about anyone I know or anything).
There are women who go for abusive men because they have their own 20 year magazine subscription worth of issues. Those are very frequently not the guys that other men see as “bad boys.”
I find myself excluded and neglected everywhere I go, even by my so-called "family. " Yeah, people are generally ‘ffriendly’ towards me, but they never actually include me in anything.
It’s going to be monumentally difficult to change my nature. Quiet, introverted, and reserved, is what I am.