So this guy goes by a house and sees a sign out front saying “Horse and Parrot for Sale”.
And it turns out that I’m the guy, because I drive by this house every day, and I’m in the beginning of a joke, but then nothing ever happens, and the joke just sort of stops there. What am I supposed to do? Has anybody heard this joke? Do you know what happens? The parrot is going to say something at some point, right? What’s the horse there for? I don’t want to mess it up for everybody.
On my way to the beach in NC I go by this place that sells chickens. They are show chickens and the like…not for eating…but I guess you could if you wanted to. His hand-lettered sign out in his front yard reads:
Of course, it makes me grin every time I see it.
In the interest of science you really need to go in there and find out what is going on. Perhaps ask the owner if the parrot knows any helpful phrases only to find out that he horse is the speaker and the parrot carries the loads…maybe the parrot is sitting on the horse’s shoulder and it turns out they’re pirates…maybe the parrot is a unicorn under a witch’s spell! We must know!
You walk up the the door to inquire about the horse and parrot. There’s a lot of thumping and bumping going on. You pause to reconsider and ring the door bell. You here a crash and the door is flung open. A man in tights comes flying feet first through the doorway. You hear someone asking “What you want.” You look down and see a midget. You say, “I’m here to see a man about a horse and parrot.” The midget says “There’s a problem with that.” You say, “What do you mean.” The midget says “They’re an act in the circus and the horse is getting a bit short sighted.” He continues, “The parrot is shot out of a cannon and the horse catches him.” You ask, “So what’s the problem?” The midget replies, "The horse has a feather up his ass, and we haven’t found the parrot.
It may be that we’re over thinking this - AIUI (And EddyTeddyFreddy, or some of our other horse people may come in to shoot me down…) horses often are better behaved if they’re stabled with another animal. Since not everyone can afford two horses, they’ll substitute cats, dogs, sheep, or maybe even a parrot.
It may really be that this pair of animals are meant to be sold as a set. No joke involved.
Of course I put the likelihood of that at no more that about 33%.
I’m reminded, too of a sign I saw locally last year:
PERENNIAL RUSTIC FURNITURE FOR SALE
I have just one question I wish I had the chutzpah to ask the sign maker: If you leave your perennial rustic chair to keep growing, will it become a perennial rustic love seat? Or are they seperate plants?
A dwarf with a lisp goes to an agricultural show to buy a mare. He wanders around until he comes across a beautiful mare inside a small enclosure with a farmer standing at the gate. He goes up to the farmer and says ‘Excthuth me, can I have a look at your horth?’
‘Sure’, says the farmer, ‘come on in’.
The dwarf wanders round and round the mare and then stops, says to the farmer ‘Her eyeth, her eyeth, I want to see her eyeth’. The farmer has to bend down and pick up the dwarf to show him the mare’s eyes. ‘Nith eyeth, nith eyeth, I like thith horth, I like thith horth, I think I want to buy thith horth’.
Once again the dwarf wanders around the horse, in turn asking the farmer to pick him up and show him the mare’s ears and exclaiming ‘Nith earth, nith earth, I like thith horth, I like thith horth, I think I want to buy thith horth’.
The farmer is starting to get pissed off by this stage because the dwarf is quite heavy.
Suddenly the dwarf stops in his tracks and says ‘Her twat, her twat, I want to see her twat!’
The farmer, infuriated, picks up the dwarf and drives him head first into the mare’s backside. He leaves the dwarf’s little legs kicking and wanders off to talk to his mates for a couple of minutes. He then comes back and extracts the dwarf from his predicament, ‘SCHLOOOOP!’.
The dwarf wipes himself down and says ‘I think I better wephase that, I’d like to thee her gallop!’
Not sure what the parrot does in all honesty, maybe he’s the straight man.
We all know about the perpetual Ninjas versus Pirates debate. This guy has the ultimate answer and he is willing to sell it. There is no way in hell a Pirate Cowboy isn’t going to take down every Ninja he sees.