Looking for Punchlines to "A Man On The Street Walks Up To Me And Says..."

I’m looking for various punchlines to this old joke

A man walks up to me on the street and says “I haven’t had a bite in a week.”

The obvious one is “So I bit him.”

Another one might be:

A man walks up to me on the street and says “I haven’t had a bite in a week.”

So I said, “Oh I wish I had you’re willpower, aren’t diets awful”

Any others. Obviously they don’t have to by good :slight_smile:

The fish left six days ago.

A funny thing happened to me on the way to work. A guy comes up to me and says, ‘I haven’t had a bite in three days!’

So I picked up a pipe and took him down at the knees. He went down like a sack of potatoes. I laughed, and laughed!

I’m looking for punchlines to a joke that starts “A man sees a sign in front of a house, saying ‘Horse and Parrot for Sale’”. I drove by just such a sign for a good month or so on my daily commute, and kept waiting for something to happen. I still can’t shake the feeling that I am a character in some sort of joke that simply faltered.

The seller says, ‘I just can’t live with them anymore. The parrot won’t shut up about his damned crackers, and the horse keeps calling me “Wilbur”.’

Eh… I got nothin’.

A man walks up to me on the street and says “I haven’t had a bite in a week.”

“What’d your crack whore take out her dentures?” :eek: