How 'bout when the annoying person in the theater is WITH you?!

The BBQ Pit
1

Mr. Rilch, Friend, Boss and I attended a performance of the Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack at the Hollywood Bowl this evening.

The audience was issued the usual warnings before the show began: no smoking, turn off phones and pagers, and so forth. Along with the one that should just be a given: NO TALKING.

Of course, Boss doesn’t think that applies to him. If he wants to say something, he says it. “That was awesome.” “You like that, Rilch?” [tight-lipped “Mmhm” in reply] “Did you hear those woodwinds?” And when he leans across me to comment to Mr. Rilch, of course Mr. Rilch has to answer him. So I’m caught in a crossfire of whispering.

I guess they thought it was okay because theoretically no one could hear them except me. But god damn it, am I not one of the people of whom they should have been considerate? No talking means no talking; it’s no less annoying to someone who knows you than it is to a stranger.

Luckily, the first act was over quickly. At intermission, I got up and Friend backed into the aisle to let me out. I steered him away from the seats and said quietly, “When I get back, can I have the aisle seat?” He agreed, maybe knowing why I was asking. On my return, I did just that.

“Don’t you want to sit between me and Boss?” asked Mr. Rilch.

“Not if you guys keep talking.”

“Oh. [shamefaced] Sorry.”

I stayed on the aisle. I don’t know if they were talking during FOTR; I didn’t have to worry about it. But why the fuck can’t Boss save what he has to say? And why does Mr. Rilch have to follow his lead? They came close to spoiling Harry Potter for me; how could they not think of that?

It’s especially ironic in light of the fact that, before the performance, Mr. Rilch harshed out on some kids who were kicking our seat. Now granted, that was justified. But if their voices had been audible, the way his and Boss’s were to me, he wouldn’t have tolerated that either.

It sure was an odd perspective, being with the “talkers”, instead of them being random people who just happen to sit by you.

2

In the name of humanity and all things good and right, excuse yourself on the pretense of going to the ladies’s room, but actually speak with an attendant and arrange for you and your party to be expelled a few minutes after you return to your seat.

3

I didn’t want to leave! I just wanted either to get out of range, or for them to shut up. I really don’t think anyone else could hear them; just me.

4

Nah, nah - get up as if to go to the loo, but go and sit down in a completely different part of the theatre.

5

Augh-I had this happen to me. A date took me to an animated film festival. I was horrified to find that he laughs like Robert DeNiro in Cape Fear!
:eek:
Unfortunately, it was very funny, and he blasted the poor people in front of us almost out of the theater! I wanted to crawl under the seat! I couldn’t figure out the right way to tell someone they had a crazy laugh (it seemed like a weird thing to complain about), so I just made sure we only saw dramas after that.

6

Sadly, I am the annoying person in the theatre. Walking peanut gallery am I. I can keep my voice down enough so only the person I’m addressing can hear me, but unfortunately I do feel the need to address someone.

:smack:

7

I never have this problem. Of course, that is because I haven’t went to a theater with someone in about 12 years.

8

Generally, people can be reasoned with, but babies who start screaming in the middle of a performance really increase the steam level in my immediate vicinity (and not in a good way!). It’s not that I blame the baby, but that the parents didn’t get a babysitter.

9

Oh, Lord. One of my best friends is an obsessive talker-during-movies. During Gandalf’s fall in FOTR, she kept poking my SO and saying things like, “What happens next? I can’t remember. What happens to him?”. He didn’t kill her. She also asks for explanations of things that are obviously going to be explained in the next scene or so. Aagh.

10

I had the same thing happen when one of my sisters brought along her best friend to see Star Wars when it first came out.

11

Mr. C4C and I doubled with another couple to go see “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” And the other couple whispered loudly all the way through the movie. I wanted to scream!

So what do you do when the annoying person is with you? There was nothing tactful I could do besides just sit there and silently steam.

12

I applaud your straight-forward answer.

13

Wait a minute. There’s nothing you could do? These people are your friends/relatives. Ask them politely to stop talking. It’s a lot easier to ask people you know to be quiet. And if they won’t hush, move seats. If moving seats isn’t an option, tell them to shut up.

14

When I saw Sling Blade, I saw it with a girl I had a crush on and a psychopathic guy who laughed like a hyaena whenever the movie got tense. By the climactic scene, he was shrieking his laughter out so loud it drowned out the dialogue.

Granted, we were watching it on a VCR. That didn’t stop me from wanting, passionately and sincerely, to murder him.

Daniel

15

Suicide is not the answer.

16

I really hope that’s the case – that is, that nobody else can hear you – but I find it rather difficult to believe. I saw Signs last Friday, and there was a group that obviously thought this – despite me repeatedly turning around and glaring at them. In a quiet, tense moment, talking into someone’s ear and even whispering can still very much be heard and it is BLOODY ANNOYING. (It really doesn’t help that the people who are usually inconsiderate enough to talk during a movie are usually the most vapid and immature individuals you can find. Can’t they save ‘Duuuude, that is SO weird’ until afterwards? Is it really necessary to go “Dude, look! He cut his head off!” when Aragon beheads Lurtz, as if the rest of us were not watching? Is it really required to ruin the moment when Gandalf falls in Moria by shouting, “Hey, what did he say?!” Yes, I had the most stupid people on Earth behind me during Lord of the Rings.)

I mean, if you really can’t control yourself, couldn’t you just rent so that the rest of the people in the theatre can enjoy the movie they paid for? Either that, or you could just shut up. I mean, I assume you don’t have some sort of medical condition where you really can’t control yourself. If you do, well, then, that’s different.

OK, I’m being a bit harsh, and for that, I apologize. However, I really wish that you would consider your actions. You don’t need to talk – you WANT to talk. Because you are doing something that you want, but don’t need, to do at the cost of the enjoyment of others (and I cannot imagine how you could possibly speak extensively in theatres without the person sitting in front of you hearing you, let alone other people), I think you are being selfish.

17

Was it MsRobyn who reported that she holds a pretend microphone up to her mom’s mouth when she talks during movies?

Mr. Cranky and I have found that hilarious.

18

A further problem with Mr. Rilch and Boss is that they often have intelligent, analytical comments to make. Boss did start out with pointless “Did you like that”'s, but when he and Mr. Rilch really got going, it was a worthwhile discourse. I just didn’t want to hear it WHILE the orchestra was playing.

Homebrew, thank you! See, I know how to play these guys. As I noted in the OP, if I’d “interrupted” them to ask them to be quiet, then I would have been talking. And Boss is just the kind of person to say “Well, excuuuuuuuse me!” when someone else says “Shush”. Moving, and then telling them why, was more effective. Afterwards, Mr. Rilch and I discussed it further: I asked him to consider the possibility of saving their comments for after the performance. Said he, “But what’s the point of seeing a live performance with people if you can’t communicate?”

“You can communicate non-verbally. Silent applause, for instance. And remember when we saw [movie] and [actor] came on screen when we didn’t know he was in it? I pointed at myself, then made a heart with my fingers, then pointed to him. I communicated to you without disturbing anyone else.”

Cranky: I second that “hilarious”!

19

I think the only way to make my friend shut up is duct tape. We used to use lollipops (true), but now she refuses to let anyone shove candy in her mouth to prevent speech.

20

I was once in Stockholm, Sweden, at movies.
The movie was made by two guys who often joked about the middle class in their films.
This particular film was telling about some people that were total failures. They all run somekind of small business, but were born loosers.
There were jokes that in reality were not jokes…, just the same as Charlie Chaplin trying to eat his shoe, and people laughed in the theater.

Then there was one episode where a woman keeping a kiosk or something, was on the brink of the end of everything in her life.
She climbed up a hugh bridge that was under construction. At the end of the half-constructed bridge she kept a Sheakspearian type of speech. Not exactly “to be or not to be”, but in the same style.
Very moll indeed.

The the film changed tempo, she like sparkled out of her gloomyness and begun to speak: “Have I paid the last payment of the fridge I bought last year?
What would people think about me if I would die without paying that? They would thgink that my life is a failure…” etc. etc.
So she run quickly home to check if she actually had paid for the fridge!

I was laughing my head off…, until, yes, until I realised that nobody else was laughing.
There was many, hidden jokes and not so hidden jokes, and I had to check the whole film if the others were laughing or not.
Reading these film-directors/writers books I was quite familiar with their jokes…
The audience did not and I did never again go to a movie where there is a Swedish audience.